Seeing the Wires. Patrick Thompson

the heroes of those terrible fantasy novels wanted. What their spotty virgin readers, living with their parents at the age of forty, wanted. I didn’t want to kill the bad guys. I didn’t suffer from bad guys. They ignored me. My friend Jack was friends with bad guys.

      I became friends with Jack when I was thirteen. I did it deliberately. I’m not going to kid you about that. I saw that he had a lot of friends of the unfriendly sort, and I learned what he was interested in – metalwork, mostly – and I pretended to be interested in it. I knew him a long time ago, my mother used to say. It’s one of the things she thinks I didn’t listen to. I don’t remember Jack before we went to school. Once we got to school, I needed him. Having a friend with bad friends saves you a lot of trouble.

      Don’t go after the bad guys. Get them on your side. It’s easier and quicker and they always fall for it. You only need two or three phrases to start a conversation: