“Skulduggery’s been captured,” Stephanie blurted out. “Serpine has him.”
“Not this again.”
“It’s true,” Ghastly said.
Meritorious peered at him. “You saw it yourself?”
“Well,” Ghastly said, hesitating, “no, but—”
Meritorious waved his hand. “Skulduggery Pleasant is an excellent detective, and we value his help and his expertise on many difficult cases. But when it comes to Nefarian Serpine, he does not have his usual detached perspective.”
“Serpine has captured him!” Stephanie insisted.
“My dear, I like you. And I can see why Skulduggery likes you. You are a frighteningly upfront person and this is a quality to be admired. However, you are new to our culture and our ways, and you have heard a decidedly skewed version of our history. Serpine is not the villain he once was.”
“I was there,” Stephanie said, struggling to remain calm. “Serpine came with his paper creatures and they took him.”
This made Meritorious pause. “Paper creatures?”
“Well, it looked like they were made out of paper.”
He nodded slowly. “Hollow Men. Minions of Serpine. Terrible things, bloated by stink and evil.”
“Now do you believe me? We need to get him back.”
“Grand Mage,” Ghastly said, “my friend is in danger. I know you don’t want it to be true, but the Truce has been broken. Serpine and the sorcerers allied with him will waste no time in seizing power. The Elders must act now.”
“On what authority?” Meritorious asked. “On the word of a girl I barely know?”
“I’m not lying,” said Stephanie.
“But you may be mistaken.”
“I’m not. Serpine wants the Sceptre and he thinks Skulduggery can get it for him.”
“The Sceptre is a fairy tale—”
“The Sceptre is real,” Stephanie said, cutting him off. “It’s real enough that Serpine is after it, and he killed the two men you had spying on him so that you wouldn’t find out about it until it was too late.”
Meritorious hesitated for a moment. “Miss Cain, if you’re wrong, and we move against Serpine now, then we are starting a war we are not ready for.”
“I’m sorry,” Stephanie said, seeing the trepidation in the Elder’s eyes and speaking softly now. “But the war has already started.”
The paper clip lay on the tabletop and didn’t move. Stephanie focused, flexed her fingers and then thrust her palm towards it, trying to genuinely believe that thin air was nothing more than interlocking objects. The paper clip still didn’t move. She nudged it, just to make sure it wasn’t stuck or anything. Ghastly entered the room.
“We’re ready to go,” he said. “You’re sure you want to do this?”
“Very sure.” She put the paper clip in her pocket and nodded to the door behind him. “Is there an army out there?”
“Uh, not quite.”
“How many?”
He hesitated. “Two.”
“Two? He has an army of Cleavers and he gives us two?”
“Sending any more would arouse suspicion,” Ghastly said. “Meritorious needs a little time to contact Morwenna Crow and Sagacious Tome and convince them that action is necessary, and until he does, this rescue mission is strictly unofficial.”
“Please tell me they’re as good as Skulduggery said they are?”
“Both their uniforms and their scythes can ward off the majority of magical attacks, and there aren’t many deadlier in close combat.”
“Close combat?” Stephanie said with a frown. “What about throwing fireballs and stuff? Are they Elementals or Adepts?”
Ghastly cleared his throat. “Neither, actually. Magic corrupts certain people, and Cleavers need to be seen as completely impartial, so…”
“So they’re not magic? At all?”
“They have some magic, but it just adds to their combat abilities. They’re quite strong and very fast.”
“So what are they going to do? Run around Serpine until he gets dizzy and falls over?”
“If it all goes according to plan, Serpine won’t even know we’re there.”
“And what are the chances of that happening?”
Ghastly looked at her and for a moment he held his ground. Then he looked away. “They’re not great,” he admitted.
“Exactly.”
He looked up again. “But Mr Bliss has offered us his help.”
“He’s coming?” Stephanie asked nervously. She didn’t like the idea of going anywhere with Mr Bliss.
“Not him,” Ghastly said, “but he’s sending someone. Five is a good number; we can sneak in, grab Skulduggery, sneak out. Simple.”
The door opened behind them and Meritorious appeared. “I have arranged your transport,” he said.
They followed him up out of the Sanctuary and exited the Waxworks from the back, where a large van was parked. As soon as Meritorious emerged into the sunlight, two Cleavers walked forward. They took the scythes from their sheathes before they climbed in. Stephanie hoped the van didn’t go over any potholes or she’d be skewered before they even reached Serpine’s castle.
Another person walked forward, a person she recognised from the library.
“Tanith Low,” Meritorious said, “this is Ghastly Bespoke and Valkyrie Cain.”
“We’ve met,” Tanith said, giving Stephanie a polite nod. She carried a sword in a black scabbard, its lacquered surface crisscrossed with nicks and marks.
“Mr Bliss sent you?” Ghastly asked.
“He did. He thought I could be of use.”
“That’s quite a recommendation.”
“He just wants this business to be over with as soon as possible,” Tanith said. “I’m at your disposal for the duration.”
“Then let’s go.”
Tanith climbed into the van and Ghastly got behind the wheel.
“Good luck,” Meritorious said as Stephanie was about to join them.
“Thank you.”
He shrugged. “You’ll need it.”
A FABULOUS RESCUE INDEED
It occurred to Stephanie that if they didn’t get Skulduggery back, it was all over. Serpine would get the Sceptre and the Faceless Ones would return. The fate of the entire planet rested on the shoulders of a skeleton, and the five people sent to rescue him.