messes to resolve, and it hadn’t been many weeks ago that he’d been brought low by the weight of it all.
Mia had never been one to shovel her burdens onto another person, not even with Jamie. He’d given her his love and support, but she hadn’t depended on him. Had never depended on anyone other than herself to make things right. She was the big sister, the coper, the manager, and that wasn’t about to change now. Mia would not surrender herself up to another person that way. Her mother had done it, so had Kiki when it came to it, but not Mia.
Stubborn, mouthy, interfering: all labels her brother-in-law and others had thrown at her in scorn. All parts of her personality she carried with pride.
‘I’ll be all right, Daniel. It makes me feel good to know that you would come to me if I need it, but I’m really okay. This is really okay, well it’s not, but I’m going to make it okay.’ With every word, her voice grew more determined, more certain. ‘I would rather you stayed there and carried on working on the house. Hold our dreams fast for me, Daniel. Hold them tight and keep working towards them and that will give me the strength that I need.’
‘If you’re really sure?’
‘I am.’
‘Okay then, now back to my previous question: what are you wearing?’
Mia sat propped up in bed, grateful again that Pat and Bill had a brood of grandchildren so they had naturally swung into action dealing with Matty and Charlie. Bill had distracted Matty with card games and riddles. Pat had breezed around the kitchen with Charlie glued to her hip, recognising that the little girl felt a bit lost and in need of lots of kisses and cuddles.
Mia had been happy to rattle around, putting together a simple supper for the children and a more elaborate meal for her in-laws, the least she could do to say thank you. It was a credit to her mother-in-law that she recognised Mia’s need to be helpful and had surrendered her kitchen, happy to find whatever Mia needed, set the table, rinse dishes. Play the supporting role.
The children had been settled into the bedroom next door. It was set up with a couple of single beds as well as a cot and it was full of toys and games. Glow stars on the ceiling and a night light by the door helped to settle the children down and Mia had happily read them stories until they had drifted off.
Bill and Pat had planned a trip to the local wildlife park for the next day; it would keep the children occupied and give Mia the chance to focus on Kiki and the dreaded dinner party at her father’s. Mia was planning the menu, a few options for each course as well as a vegetarian alternative. She was wondering whether her father would appreciate the humour in a pastiche of the archetypal seventies’ dinner party when a noise at her door caught her attention. She had left the door slightly open and she could see a shadowy outline.
‘Matty, darling, is everything all right?’
The door pushed open wider and her nephew stood there, clutching his sister’s chubby little hand and shifting his weight from foot to foot uncertainly. Mia put her notepad on the bedside cabinet and lifted the edge of the quilt up, shifting across as she did so. She smiled and patted the warm bit of the bed invitingly, nodding her head in encouragement.
‘We’re not supposed to get out of bed, but Charlie had a bad dream and she didn’t remember where she was.’ Matty spoke softly, his eyes cast down as though waiting to be scolded.
Mia looked over Matty’s lowered head at his little sister who seemed perfectly fine if a bit sleepy.
‘I was feeling very lonely,’ Mia said as she held her hand out towards them. ‘You would be doing me a big favour if you would come and keep me company for a bit.’
Matty looked up shyly and Mia forced herself to hold her smile at the worry she saw in the little boy’s eyes. She wondered if it was Neil who had made his son so afraid to seek comfort in the night. She could not imagine Kiki would ever turn her children away.
‘Come on, you two. I’m letting all the heat out; jump up now.’ That last little bit of encouragement was all that was needed before Mia was overwhelmed by two wriggly, chilly little bodies that tried to burrow in as close as possible. With a bit of shifting around, including Mia lifting Charlie across her, she soon had one child tucked on either side of her and they snuggled deeply under the quilt.
Charlie sighed, clutched a handful of Mia’s top, and dropped off almost immediately. Matty lay there, very still, but Mia could tell that he was still awake. She turned her head and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
‘What’s up, doc?’ she said softly and was rewarded with a little giggle. It had been a favourite phrase of Jamie’s and the way he had always greeted Matty. Matty turned on his side and curled his little arm across Mia’s middle, resting his head in the crook of her shoulder.
‘Do you miss Uncle Jamie?’ he whispered and Mia felt her heart clutch.
‘I miss him every day, darling. Every single day.’ She took a deep breath and screwed her courage tight. Matty clearly had something on his mind and she would have to eat her own pain to help him through.
‘Do you miss him, Matty? You know that he didn’t mean to leave us, don’t you? That it was just a horrible accident?’
‘Daddy said that Uncle Jamie would be glad.’ Mia bit the inside of her cheek, hoping that Matty had misunderstood something he had overheard rather than it being another example of Neil’s cruelty and spite.
‘Uncle Jamie would be glad about what, darling?’ It was a battle to keep her voice gentle and even.
‘Glad about being free from you, Aunty Mia, but I don’t understand what he meant. He said you are a hairy dean. What’s one of them? You don’t seem hairy to me.’ Matty sat up and stared quizzically at Mia and she swallowed hard as a bomb exploded in her brain.
‘I think your daddy said that I am a harridan, which isn’t true. Your daddy thinks I speak too much and should be quiet and nice like your mummy. I’m not very good at keeping quiet though, Matty, but your Uncle Jamie never minded that.’
‘I wish Daddy wasn’t so loud. He makes Mummy cry when he tells her off. She thinks I don’t see her, but I know that she cries. Her face gets very white and her nose goes all red.’
It was one of those horrible moments when Mia hated that she was the grown-up and she would have to pick her way carefully through the minefield the conversation with her nephew had become. ‘Is Daddy loud a lot, Matty? Is he loud at you and Charlie or just Mummy?’ Mia clamped down on her anger, determined to let this poor little boy have a safe place to voice his worries and fears.
‘He gets loud if I’ve done something wrong, like if I don’t get top marks in a test or if I make too much noise when he is trying to work. He doesn’t like it if Charlie cries and he blames Mummy for not looking after her properly. I don’t get things wrong as often as Mummy does. She’s stupid. I don’t think she is stupid—she always helps me with my homework—but Daddy says she is stupid. That’s what he calls her, like it’s her name.’
Mia swallowed hard against the bile that suddenly burned in the back of her throat. She felt physically sick at the images that her nephew was painting of his life at home. He was only seven years old and already being damaged by Neil’s abhorrent behaviour. She placed her hand on the back of Matty’s head and urged him to settle back down against her. She stroked his soft, sweet hair lightly and tried not to let him see how angry she was.
‘Don’t worry about anything, sweet boy. I’m going to help your mummy tomorrow.’
Matty sighed and snuggled closer. Mia muttered under her breath: ‘And if your daddy thinks I’m a hairy dean, he ain’t seen nothing yet.’
Mia raised her hand to her sister’s front door, hesitated then knocked harder than she’d originally intended. There was nothing about