her phone was running out of memory space, which had been taken up with all the texts she’d kept of Rik’s. Now, she felt her throat constrict as she remembered with absolute clarity what it had said: ‘I miss you, little sis. Lets have breakfast sometime!’
She suddenly began to recall all the times she’d ignore her sister’s calls and texts when she’d decided to go AWOL because of some guy. Yet, when she got kicked out of her bedsit, Lena had been the first one there for her whilst Cara had just berated her for being so irresponsible. And when each and every boyfriend dumped her, Lena was the one to hold her, smooth down her soft curls, wet with tears, and tell her that everything was going to be all right. Just like when they were kids.
‘I just wish this hadn’t happened,’ Millie said helplessly. She waited for a dig from Cara, who actually surprised her for once.
‘Don’t we all,’ she said wearily as they both stared at Lena, as if the joint force of their stare could magically force her eyes open and they would once again see those beautiful emeraldy-green sparklers. To think, as a child, Millie believed they made her older sister look like an alien.
‘Hurry up and get out of this…Please. I–we–need you, Lena.’ She placed a hand on her sister’s arm but, instead of being overcome with the usual sadness, Millie was gripped by a new but just as powerful emotion that swished about inside of her; holding on so possessively, she missed a few breaths.
Guilt.
What Cara felt, she didn’t know, but for her, it was definitely guilt.
The sprawling four-bedroomed house on Underhill Road was where they had grown up and spent their entire childhoods. It had a wooden gate at the front of a small garden that matched most of the other houses on the street. Now though, it seemed to stand out more, as the Curtis household was one of the few that had retained the original layout, as most of the others had been converted into flats.
Now, without Lena, the house felt incredibly lonely. Admittedly, since moving in again, it had only been the two of them–once the lodger Meg had moved on–but Lena had this ability to make it seem like the house was full again. She was like a huge rainbow of light, with flashes of stars sprinkling all around whenever she walked into a room. Not just because of her eyes, but the mad hair, often bunched into a hairband or up in a ponytail (which Millie hated). She always seemed to be in that suede gilet with the fur trim, multicoloured scarf, jeans skirt or bootcut jeans and those massive Uggs she seemed to live in; not because they were fashionable, but because they were comfy. How Millie hated those boots! Millie scrolled down to ‘Lena’ on her mobile, and called the number for the third time, waiting to hear her sister’s answerphone message.
‘Hi, it’s Lena. Leave a short message and I will get back to you. Thanks for calling. Bur bye!’
She dialled again.
‘Hi, it’s Lena. Leave a short message and I will get back to you. Thanks for calling. Bur bye!’
And again.
‘Hi, it’s Lena. Leave a short message and I will get back to you. Thanks for calling. Bur bye!’
She’d called the number every day for the past week, hoping that Lena might actually answer with a noisy laugh, claiming a well-deserved victory in the biggest wind-up ever, admitting that the last two weeks had been a joke.
Millie scrolled down to ‘S’ on her phone. No, she wouldn’t. Not yet. In fact, she was going to do everything in her limited power NOT to do THAT this time. So what if her sister was in a deep sleep? Or that she was alone, jobless and without a boyfriend? She was not going ‘there’.
She glanced around her room, which was now neat enough after the overdue trip to the launderette, the rest of her clothes now packed into her wardrobe and out of the suitcases they’d lived in ever since she’d got thrown out. That hadn’t been her fault, though–she’d defaulted on a couple of months’ rent because her benefit had stopped when she’d found a job. No one had bothered to tell her she’d have to start paying full rent immediately, had they? Lena had bailed her out of that mess by letting her stay after the lodger had left. As always, Lena had been there for her. And, as usual, she’d repaid her by not helping out around the house or even attempting to cook a meal with which to present Lena after one of her long and demanding shifts at Kidzline. Sometimes she didn’t get home until 11 p.m.
Millie smiled bitterly, knowing that she would actually give everything she owned just to have Lena back here, nagging at her to do the washing-up or clean the hair out of the plughole in the bath. She missed her sister furiously scribbling away in that little notebook of hers. She missed the way that they could never walk past a charity shop without Lena wanting to wander in and look at a rusty old mirror or a Victorian tea set whilst Millie would much rather drop into Peacock’s or New Look.
She missed everything about her big sister and, lying in her bed alone in the house, Millie had never felt more lonely in her entire life.
Cara on the other hand was currently experiencing the luxury of ‘forgetting’–albeit temporarily, as she rushed about the bar, in chef/barmaid/boss mode. Mixing June bugs, Mojitos and Caipirinhas; making sure table six got their bar-food platter and keeping one eye on Eliza. So not until the end of her first full shift back, when the bar was locked up for the night and she drove the short distance home, did she begin to think about Lena. She felt a little guilty at this, as she flashed her security pass and the gate opened to let the car through. Shouldn’t she be thinking of Lena 24/7?
Ade was home and, judging by the smell, had prepared something delicious. She slipped out of her ‘bar clothes’ and changed into the pretty silk pyjamas that Ade had bought her two Valentines ago. She hoped he wouldn’t see this as a signal for any midnight loving–she was knackered. Her body had got used to the lack of pace and she needed time to readjust.
‘Have you spoken to Justin, lately?’ asked Ade as they settled on their huge comfy sofa.
‘No, I haven’t. Why should I?’
‘Because he’s Lena’s boyfriend. We should be supporting him.’
‘Don’t start, Ade, I’ve had a long day.’
‘I’m just saying. We should be there for him.’
‘Why? You’ve never got on with him,’ she said, tucking her tiny feet under her.
‘Of course I do!’
‘Only when you found out he was into basketball. How many men in this country are? You had no choice.’
‘He’s Lena’s boyfriend, Cara.’
‘You think I’m going to forget that? Luckily, he is such a coward, I hardly ever see him at the hospital.’
‘That’s just his way of dealing with it.’
‘Ade, I really hate the way he treated Lena. He always took her for granted, for a start. Lena mentioned a couple of times that it was really getting her down.’
‘What did she say?’
Cara cast her mind backwards, finding it funny that she could not remember any recent stuff but incidents from months before–that was easy…
It had been a particularly busy night at A&R. Some blokes had decided to start their stag night there, which meant all hands on deck, especially as Ade was at his mum’s doing some errand. Lena had bounced in, all smiles, asking for her usual ginger beer, ice and a slice of lemon.
‘Hold on a sec, sis, just need to serve that table these beers. Give me one second,’ said Cara, expertly placing four bottles of beers between her fingers.
‘Come on, darling, give us a dance!’ leered one of the blokes.
‘You’re in the wrong place, mate. But I’m sure Spearmint Rhino can oblige,’ she replied as politely as she could.
‘I like my girls tiny and sweet, like