You Want to Do What?: Instant answers to your parenting dilemmas. Karen Sullivan

in books about terrorism or extremist thought – he may just be putting recent threats into context. Autobiographies of stars and athletes are often popular with boys, and tend to be ‘no-holds barred’ – frankly, your child will be reading nothing worse than what he reads in the papers or sees on television. If the subject interests him, gets him reading and encourages him to read more, then it may not be inappropriate after all.

      In terms of encouraging wider choice, get to know their interests and tastes; buy books by authors they previously enjoyed, and on subjects you know will hook them. Go through the bestseller lists together or read the reviews, and pick out things that sound fun. Some of your old favourites might hit the right note, but don’t count on it!

      How can I encourage my child to read more?

      Try some of the following tips:

      

Learn more about your child’s interests and suggest books, magazines and articles that relate to those topics. Clip things out of the paper that might interest him, including reviews or discussions of books that may appeal.

      

Sometimes films are a good starting point for pleasure reading – after seeing the film, he or she may be motivated to read the book. Next time, your child may wish to read a book before seeing a film.

      

Travel can spark reading – finding books that relate to a place you visit on a family holiday or that provide background information to historical places of interest can be a good starting point. For example, if you’ve recently visited a war museum or a battle site, a war history book, such as Private Peaceful by Michael Morpurgo, might catch their fancy.

      

Keep plenty of books and other reading materials at home. If the TV isn’t a constant feature, your child is more likely to pick up a book or magazine. Check to see what disappears for a clue as to what interests your teenager.

      

Read books with your children! Children of any age can appreciate being read to (see page).

      

Be a good role model – let your children see you reading.

      

Give them an opportunity to choose their own books. When you and your children are out together, browse in a bookshop or library. Go your separate ways and make your own selections. Book tokens may encourage them to make their own choices, too.

      

Build on your child’s interests. Look for books and articles that feature their favourite sports teams, rock stars, hobbies or TV shows. Give a subscription to a special interest magazine.

      

Don’t sniff at reading only the sports section, Teletext, internet sites or comics – anything that gets them reading is good news, and provides a springboard for further reading.

      

Acknowledge your child’s maturing interests and tastes. Look for ways to recognise the emerging adult by suggesting some adult reading you think he or she can handle.

      What is an appropriate reading level for each age?

      All children read at different stages and ages, and although there is a template for how reading develops, the ages at which kids reach each level can differ wildly. Children with learning difficulties may never appear to match the levels achieved by other children in their class, while avid readers may fly ahead, leaving their classmates far behind.

      In a nutshell, your child’s teacher can and should tell you if your child is not reading to an appropriate standard.

      The Reading Foundation provides information on the stages of language and reading development, and offers tips for improvement at each stage. If you are worried that your child isn’t reading to an appropriate level, this can be invaluable information. Visit www.readingfoundation.org.

      Finally, purchase a few books targeted at your child’s age – books that will interest him, of course – and test them out. If he’s eleven years old, books that fall within the nine to thirteen years banding may be a little challenging, but he should get through them without too much effort. If he’s fourteen and struggling with ‘young adult titles’ move him back to an earlier age group and see how he fares. A year or two out of the reading age target is of no real concern, but if that same 14-year-old is more confident with the books in the ages six to eight year grouping, you might want to get him some extra help.

Bras

      At what age should my daughter start to wear a bra?

      Breasts can begin growing as early as eight years of age, and they don’t normally stop until the early twenties. Many girls are resistant to wearing bras for a variety of reasons, including fearing the transition to adulthood, being self-conscious (particularly if they develop earlier than their peers) and even feeling dismayed about the changes to their body. Many girls want a bra when nipples become more noticeable, as it can provide extra coverage. It’s probably best to leave the decision to your daughter; when her friends start wearing bras, she will too. No damage will be done by having unsupported breasts in her early teens. You may want to suggest a sports bra with a less traditional back and straps, or a tank top with a ‘breast shelf’ or ‘invisible support’ in the interim.

      If, however, your daughter’s breasts are very well developed, and she is still resistant well into the teenaged years, you may wish to have a relaxing day out together and hit the lingerie department en route. Let her choose what she wants and play down the fact that you think it’s time.

      If my daughter is resistant to wearing a bra, when should I ensure she does?

      Once a girl has developed breasts (that is, not only the nipple has emerged), a bra is a good idea, especially when the girl is exercising and playing sports. Bras can protect breast tissue and keep the breasts supported. Some girls may also like bras that smooth out their silhouettes and make them feel more comfortable. A bra can make a girl feel less exposed when she’s wearing a light shirt.

      Some girls look forward to getting their first bras, but others dread that event. Like anything new, wearing a bra can be tough to adjust to. As most women know, they can be tricky to undo and adjust, and they can be very uncomfortable if they are incorrectly fitted. They are also clear evidence that puberty has arrived – some girls actually wear several layers of undergarments or clothing to disguise this fact rather than protect their ‘assets’ with a bra.

      The secret is to get the right size so that your child feels comfortable and supported. A sports bra is less obvious than some types and can be played down as a type of tank top or sportswear. Indeed, many cropped tops now come with supportive layers, so this may suffice until she feels ready for the real thing.

      Take your daughter shopping, but without pressure. Find some attractive matching sets in a style she likes, and give her some freedom to choose. Choose a few things yourself to make the visit to the lingerie department a little less obvious. You can use the opportunity to discuss how you felt about your first bra, and why wearing one is a good idea. She may confess her own feelings and concerns – in which case, leave it for a little while longer. If she’s particularly self-conscious, leave a catalogue around and ask her to choose what she might like to order. This way she can test out a few things