when I woke up the next morning because I knew what was facing me. In the meantime, another statement was issued by the club at 9.54 that morning, saying:
‘Brian Rose has assured Somerset supporters that Marcus Trescothick will be fit to play a full part in the coming county season. Brian said: “I spoke to Marcus last night and, while it is unfortunate that he has suffered a recurrence of his stress problems, I am certain he will be available to start the season for Somerset.
“I don’t see the setback as a major problem. Marcus did a tremendous job for us last season and will be a key player again this summer.
“His cricketing life is with Somerset and I am sure he will continue to enjoy playing for the club as he has done for many years”.’
It was about now that my counsellor switched on his television at home, called up Teletext and learned for the first time that I hadn’t boarded the flight. He told me later that the news had come as a complete surprise, so sure had he been from our meetings and phone calls that I would be able to make the trip.
I knew the first thing I had to do was get to the ground as soon as possible. I said to myself: ‘I’m going to go out and face people now. There’s no point p***ing about with it. I’ve got to face them at some point, let’s just do it today.’ And I walked into the club shop and bumped into an ex-colleague of mine, Mike Burns, and something lifted. I had a laugh and a joke with him, then I realized I still had my plane ticket in my pocket. ‘Burnsy,’ I said. ‘I’ve got a ticket here to go to Dubai. If you fancy a trip … the lads find themselves unexpectedly a man short.’
As far as the England situation was concerned there was only one thing left to do. Already, and not unnaturally, some of the Sunday papers, whose cricket correspondents were down in New Zealand covering the England Test tour, had speculated that my international career was now almost certainly over. I knew we had to put something out as soon as possible confirming my intention to retire immediately, but, and even though it was a slim possibility it would, I didn’t want the news to cause a distraction for anyone in the camp 11,000 miles away. Even on the day I had failed to get on the plane to Dubai, Paul Collingwood had been asked at a press conference, at the end of day one of the second Test in Wellington, for his reaction to my news; the guys certainly didn’t need to have to answer any more questions about me when they had other things on their mind, like trying to come back from 1–0 down against the Kiwis.
I met with Richard Gould and Brian Rose. We discussed the pros and cons with the club chairman Andy Nash and we all agreed the best thing would be to prepare a statement for release after the end of the third and final Test match in Napier, with a press conference at Taunton on Thursday 27 March.
Unfortunately our plans had to change when, on the morning of Saturday 22 March, the first day of the third Test, sitting at home in my dressing-gown watching Soccer AM, I took a phone call from Richard Gould.
‘Morning, Marcus,’ Richard said. ‘There’s a bit of an issue.’
My heart sank.
‘The BBC radio Test Match Special guys have been on to Andrew Walpole [the England Media relations general manager, in New Zealand with the team] enquiring whether it is true that you are about to announce your retirement from international cricket.’
Not again, I thought. This was the fourth time since my troubles began that confidential information about me had been passed on to the media – first, to the Sun regarding the possibility that I might be flying home from the 2005 tour to Pakistan to comfort Hayley following her father’s serious accident; next, to the News of the World, concerning the background to the infamous interview I gave to Sky TV on my return from India in early 2006; later, to the Sun again, about me making myself unavailable for the 2006 Champions Trophy in India in September the same year; and now this. I found all four incidents disturbing and the middle two quite damaging. But now I was simply saddened that my efforts to announce my retirement on my own terms had been spoiled by careless talk.
The release of the statement was duly brought forward to the morning of Saturday 22 March. It read:
‘Marcus Trescothick today announced his retirement from international cricket.
‘The 32 year old Somerset batsman’s decision follows his recent withdrawal from the county’s pre-season tour to Dubai with a recurrence of the health problems which caused him to quit two England tours.
‘Trescothick said: “I have tried on numerous occasions to make it back to the international stage and it has proved a lot more difficult than I expected. I want to extend my playing career for as long as possible and I no longer want to put myself through the questions and demands that go with trying to return to the England team.
“I have thoroughly enjoyed my time playing for England and I am very proud of having been selected for 76 Test matches and over 120 One-day Internationals. It has been a great privilege to represent my country and I am grateful to the game of cricket for giving me the opportunity to excel at a sport that I enjoy so much.
“My desire to play cricket is as strong as it ever was. But, due to the problems that I have experienced, travelling abroad has become extremely stressful for me. I now think that it is in the best interests of all concerned that the issue is put to rest so that the England team can concentrate on moving forward and I can concentrate all my efforts on playing well for Somerset.”
‘England managing Director Hugh Morris paid tribute to Marcus from New Zealand: “I would like to place on record my thanks to Marcus for the enormous contribution he had made to the England team in both Test and One-day International cricket. I fully respect and understand his decision to retire from international cricket and wish him every success in his future career with Somerset.”’
I was particularly touched by the response I received from the public. Down in New Zealand, the BBC’s Alison Mitchell neatly captured what I felt in her Test Match Special internet blog: ‘Far from succumbing to the strains of his illness, Trescothick is taking charge of his life,’ she wrote. Her comments had encouraged a number of replies from fellow sufferers, perhaps the most poignant from one named ‘Owls Fan’, who wrote: ‘I have every sympathy. Depression and stress over several years nearly cost me my home, my family and my life. Nothing’s more important than removing the causes and getting on the road to recovery. If it feels right, it is right.’ The website received 117 other such responses before it was closed to new comments.
I made sure the day’s play in the Test was over and done with before texting four or five of the team; Andrew Strauss, who, with his wife Ruth and young son had visited us the previous winter, Kevin Pietersen, Michael Vaughan, Paul Collingwood and Steve Harmison, my colleagues from our Ashes victory of 2005, just saying thanks.
The next time I sent a message to Vaughan he probably wished I hadn’t bothered. Prior to the final Test in Hamilton, the skipper was coming under growing pressure not just because the team had failed to dominate supposedly weaker opposition, but also because of his poor form with the bat, 7 runs in six first-class innings on the tour thus far. When I saw him scratch around for 2 in 11 balls on the first morning of the match, when England slumped to 4 for 3, with the ball zipping around, I decided the time had come to intervene. My text message was brief and to the point. ‘What the hell is going on? Just go out there and whack it.’ I told him. In the second innings he took my advice and, after amassing a glorious four in four balls, he made a ludicrous attempt to slap a good length ball on off stump from Chris Martin to the square leg boundary, only to feather a nick to Brendon McCullum behind the stumps. Vaughan didn’t text me back, but I got the message. It was definitely time to leave England well alone and get on with the rest of my life.
There was one other bit of unfinished local business to deal with. Word had reached me that, on the night of the Heathrow incident, as soon as the other lads heard