study: Maxine’s Success
‘Joanna’s approach is so easy to implement – for us, it’s become a way of life. We’ve made small changes and haven’t missed the carbs in the evening. Aside from the practicalities, it’s worked because it has helped me look at myself differently. In the past I always felt low when losing weight, but this time I’m so much more positive.
Before I felt a nobody, a nothing – now I feel like somebody and worth something. I used to hate myself, but Joanna has helped me build my self-esteem so that I now actually like myself. I may still beat myself up a bit if I have a “bad day” but Joanna has taught me to put this in proportion and not let one blip ruin everything or make me feel like a failure. Now I feel nice in some of my clothes – and I’ve never felt like that! My mantra was “I’m going to like what I see – this is me” now it’s “I like what I see – this is me”! And Joanna’s tip about making my mantra my welcome note on my mobile is great – now it’s always there for me to see!
My husband has even followed the plan and he’s a butcher! He’s gone from 18 stone 2 pounds to 16 stone – a weight he never expected to achieve, and he’s managed to stay at it too.’
Maxine lost 30lbs and dropped from a size 24 to 16–18.
This strategy is about embracing whatever issue has stopped you from successfully losing weight in the past. Body weight can be closely linked to emotional issues, therefore both gain and loss can be directly affected by and associated with events in our lives. Traumatic or highly significant events and turning points can trigger an unhealthy relationship with our bodies, and with food and dieting, all of which can culminate in a decreased level of self-worth and self-esteem.
The step four action points are about facing up to your fears and enemies.
ACTION POINT 1: REVISIT PAST ACTS OF BRAVERY AND FEARLESSNESS
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
If you are feeling demoralized or unable to face a situation for fear of rejection or failure, then recounting previous acts of bravery can help you see that you are a brave person and that you can face up to difficulties. To trigger these memories sketch out a time line spanning from kindergarten to adult life. Try to jot down ten courageous acts. If you cannot remember, ask a friend or older member of the family. Make a list of events you have feared in your life and beside them write down the outcome of the event or situation.
THE LOGIC
Revisiting the past and citing even the smallest of brave acts can remind you of your bravery. As we get older our brain often forgets these small acts and instead we tend to focus on what we feel we have not been able to address and overcome. Even the most timid of people will have had fearless moments – the trick is to remind yourself.
ACTION POINT 2: SAY YOUR MANTRA
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Once you have your bravery time line, you can use it as a springboard to a powerful mantra such as ‘I was brave once, I can be brave again’. Repeat your mantra every morning and also write it down and place it in an area where your confidence is most challenged. If this is at work, for example, keep it in the top drawer of your desk. Alternatively, you could make it your welcome message when you switch on your mobile phone. Wherever you choose, make sure it is somewhere where you will see it regularly – the more you see it, the more powerful its effect on you.
THE LOGIC
Mantras are powerful sayings but they can only be put to good effect if you use them wisely and allow them to reinforce your feelings when needed.
ACTION POINT 3: STEP INTO THE TARDIS
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Make a list of past situations or events that you were fearful of or worried about. Next, write down whether you feel you dealt with that situation or event successfully or not. Now write down how you dealt with the situation and, finally, note how you think you could have improved the outcome by using a different approach or strategy.
THE LOGIC
Addressing situations that have caused you hurt or problems in the past, and how you have dealt with them, allows you to accept that your attitude to weight management needs to involve a series of strategies and approaches to achieve the outcome you want. It also enables you to see how you have been able to work through various other situations in your life, and that the outcome has not always been immediate.
ACTION POINT 4: THINK CHALLENGE, NOT PROBLEM
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
This relates to whether you see your glass as half full or half empty. Decide right now that it is half full. This outlook will motivate you and provide you with more energy to address the issue.
THE LOGIC
How you view a situation can have a significant impact on how you feel about it and how you deal with it, so stop looking at the difficulties life throws at you as problems and instead see them as challenges that present new ways for you to look at your life and learn about yourself and others.
ACTION POINT 5: STOP WORRYING WHAT OTHERS THINK
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Observe any young child and you will see them playing silly games, or dancing as if they’re the latest pop sensation, with no regard to how silly they look. When was the last time you did something silly or put yourself in an unfamiliar situation without worrying about what others thought, or how ridiculous you may look? Fear of embarrassment can limit your experience of life. So take up belly dancing, audition for a part in a local theatre group or sign up for that evening class you have been thinking about for months. Go out power walking, or join the gym – and remember, the only person who is really focused on you is YOU.
THE LOGIC
Not caring what others think is a liberating experience. It opens you to new experiences, building your confidence and self-esteem, and shows you that falling flat on your face once in a while isn’t the end of the world. You’ll be surprised how little attention others really give to all the small things you worry about.
ACTION POINT 6: DARE TO DO WHAT YOU FEAR
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
As adults, many of us tend to protect ourselves emotionally and physically. Yet if you allow your fears to spin out to their worst-case conclusions, you’ll find that the potential consequences are usually manageable. What is the worst thing that can happen? Thinking it through can eliminate fear and provide you with the courage to move forward. Make a list of small things that would take you out of your comfort zone and try to do one a month for the next six months. Start with really tiny things, then make each one a little tougher.
THE LOGIC
When you are young you think you can do anything and not get hurt, but as we get older our limitations become instilled. Once you realize you are breakable and could end up in a plaster cast – or with a broken heart – it can dissuade you from trying anything more daring or stepping outside your comfort