Hell Bent for Leather: Confessions of a Heavy Metal Addict. Seb Hunter

blanched – except for Toby the dog. He’d been lying asleep in front of the fire, then Twisted Sister came on and he was rolling around on his back, grizzling and waving his paws around in the air! As soon as the song finished, he lay back down again. We all raised our eyebrows. Blimey, Toby really likes Twisted Sister!

      Toby listens to some Iron Maiden without any problems.

      Then some Twisted Sister.

      They were on again later in the week and Toby did it again. We asked dog-owning friends whether theirs had behaved in the same way but they hadn’t. What a crazy dog. My mother wanted to write Twisted Sister a letter about it.

      With this tale in mind and a note on how dangerous Twisted Sister looked at the time – all ripped red rags, black face paint down their cheeks and reflector shades – we arrive at Dee Snider’s famous police warning before Donington ’83. What follows is a made-up conversation, but it’s based on what actually happened and what was actually said, so it’s true, but also false.

      ‘Excuse me, Mr Snider, sir?’ Detective Inspector Radish approaches Dee with his hands politely held behind his back.

      ‘That’s me,’ replies Dee. He’s applying the finishing touches to his make-up before the Sister hit the stage.

      ‘I’m afraid I have something rather important to tell you, sir. We’ve just received a ruling at the station, and I think it’s probably in everybody’s interest if I inform you of exactly what it entails.’

      ‘Well, go on then, shoot!’ Dee is American. ‘But you’d better hurry – we’re due up on that there stage in two fuckin’ minutes!’

      ‘Well, that’s actually it, sir.’

      ‘The hell you say, dude!’

      ‘I’m afraid the Leicestershire County Authority has delivered a ruling just this afternoon, stating that you, Mister Dee Snider of Twisted Sister, are only permitted to use the word – and I say this to you strictly within inverted commas, sir – “fuck