Helen Black

Damaged Goods


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fluid were hard to come by. Lilly would give it her best shot but the question was whether her client would have the stomach for the road ahead.

      Lilly knocked three times and waited. She gave the girl sufficient time to hide any contraband and let herself in.

      ‘Hi there. I’m Lilly Valentine.’

      The girl sat on her bed and hugged her knees. Her chin was tucked into her chest and her lank hair, the colour of pee, fell like a greasy mask, obscuring Kelsey’s face. Her frame was so slight she reminded Lilly of a small bird hiding under her wing.

      Lilly smiled and gestured to the bare walls. ‘I love what you’ve done to the place.’

      No reaction.

      Lilly softened her tone. ‘Can I sit down?’

      The nod was almost imperceptible but Lilly caught it and sat on the bed next to her client.

      ‘I’m sure someone’s told you that social services have applied for a Care Order because your mum can’t look after you.’

      Kelsey retracted further. It was as if she were trying to implode.

      ‘When we go to court it’s my job to tell the judge what you want,’ Lilly said.

      Kelsey didn’t move.

      ‘I have to at least know that you understand what’s happening to you,’ said Lilly. ‘If you can’t face going to court that’s fine. We can just write it all down in a statement.’

      She reached towards her client, slid her fingers under Kelsey’s chin and gently lifted her face.

      What Lilly saw made her reel. The bleach had burnt off most of the skin from Kelsey’s lips and chin and revealed a red-brown layer like days-old meat. Lilly flinched, but forced her gaze to remain on the child’s damaged face.

      ‘I can do all the talking, Kelsey.’ She swallowed hard. ‘But you have to tell me what to say.’

      As her eyes locked with Kelsey’s, Lilly flinched again. In fifteen years of practice she was unable to remember the last time she had seen such utter hopelessness.

      ‘Speak to me, please.’

      The noise when it came was somewhere between a choke and a sob. A strangled sound from the depths of Kelsey’s throat. Lilly’s heart beat loud in her chest as she realised her client could not speak.

      Lilly shut the door to room twelve and hurried towards the kitchen to make coffee. She could still taste the cold void in Kelsey’s eyes and needed to warm her mouth. Her chest was pounding as she filled the kettle. How the hell was she going to help Kelsey?

      She opened the catering-sized tin of instant granules that sat on the otherwise empty and clean work surface. Presumably it was too big to fit in any of the cupboards. When she opened one she couldn’t help but smile. The mugs, although a ragtag band of misfits, stood to military attention. When Lilly removed one, the space it left jarred to such an extent that even Lilly was moved to rearrange the others. In this place of chaos and ripped lives order was paramount; the comfort it gave immeasurable.

      Lilly smiled again. It was going to be a hard case but she’d find a way. She always did.

      Behind her someone was eating a bowl of cereal. The crunching was deafening. Lilly turned and saw Charlene, Rice Krispies dotting her pubescent cleavage.

      ‘Don’t you want some milk on those?’ Lilly asked.

      ‘I’m a vegan,’ answered Charlene.

      ‘What?’

      ‘It means I don’t eat animal products.’

      ‘I know what it means.’

      Crunch, crunch.

      ‘I didn’t know you were into animal rights,’ said Lilly.

      ‘I’m not. I just like to piss ’em off.’

      Lilly chuckled and crossed the hall to the cramped and untidy manager’s office, where a middle-aged black woman was hunched in front of a computer. She was typing laboriously with two fingers.

      ‘You’re too old for this crap, Miriam,’ the woman said to herself.

      ‘And I thought you were only twenty-one,’ said Lilly.

      Miriam looked up and smiled. ‘How’d you get along with Chatty Cathy?’

      ‘Laugh a minute,’ said Lilly.

      ‘Get anything out of her?’ Miriam asked.

      ‘A bit tricky considering she can’t speak.’

      Lilly collapsed in the chair next to Miriam. ‘To be honest I don’t know how I’m going to do this.’

      ‘She can write stuff down.’

      ‘I can think of easier ways to work,’ said Lilly.

      Miriam shrugged. ‘No one said this job was easy.’

      ‘True,’ said Lilly. ‘Anyway, I don’t want to push too hard too soon.’

      The approval in Miriam’s smile forced Lilly to add, ‘But I’ll have to at some stage.’

      Miriam’s smile was intact but the approval had gone. Or at least that was how it seemed to Lilly. ‘She needs time. She hasn’t come to terms with what’s happening to her yet.’

      ‘Angry?’ Lilly asked.

      ‘More shocked.’

      ‘Hasn’t this been on the cards?’

      ‘No.’ Miriam reached for Lilly’s mug and took a sip. ‘They weren’t exactly the Waltons, but not the Wests either.’

      ‘Physical abuse? Neglect?’

      Miriam gulped loudly. ‘Nothing to interest the Daily Mail. Kids fed, clean, went to school mostly. Social worker says it was a watching brief.’

      Lilly retrieved her drink and scowled at the bitter dregs. ‘It must have been the gear.’

      ‘You’d think so, but Kelsey’s adamant her mum had been clean for nearly three months. It doesn’t add up.’

      Lilly had been in this game long enough to know that logic and reason didn’t often play a part in her clients’ lives. ‘Who knows what goes through someone’s mind the day they give their children away.’

      ‘Yes, baby, come to Daddy.’

      The girl didn’t move or even register his words.

      He raised his voice, his expression firm but cajoling. ‘Pretty baby, come over here.’

      Her heavy lids flickered but she remained on the sofa, unable to focus. Although his smile was fixed, the man’s impatience grew visibly and he patted the space on the sofa next to him.

      ‘I’m waiting,’ he said, though he clearly had no intention of doing so any longer and pulled the girl to him.

      He pressed his lips to her ear and sang her name. ‘Tilly, Tilly, Tilly.’

      She didn’t answer, didn’t even blink.

      He removed her grubby underwear, fumbling on the frayed lace, and turned her around to front the camera. He stroked the pale contours of her torso, starting at the hip and snaking upwards. Her breasts were not yet developed, just tiny buds.

      ‘You are so beautiful,’ he cooed.

      The girl parted her lips.

      ‘Tell Daddy what you want him to do.’

      The lips parted again and the girl exhaled audibly.

      When the man spoke again there was an edge to his voice. ‘Tell Daddy what you like.’

      The lips opened yet again and for a second it