my phone out of my evening bag and into my lap so I can text Mum.
Take a deep breath, Mum. I’m holding the trophy!!! The Sun Seeker only bloody won! Your daughter and granddaughter did it! Beyond thrilled, won’t sink in … will see u later. Lx
Okay, the grammar police would have a field day and maybe, just maybe, there are a few too many exclamation marks in there, but woo-hoo! Something unbelievably wonderful has happened and I’m struggling to take it all in.
Tonight, though, I feel like a million dollars for one simple reason: this is validation – and it does feel like it’s been a long haul. All those late nights spent online after putting Rosie to bed, often extending way into the early hours of the morning, have finally paid off.
With my previously almost non-existent rear stuck to my typing stool as if someone had superglued it there, every hour of sacrifice has been worth it and I’m feeling vindicated. Of course, the fact that it also helped me create a little junk in the trunk is a bonus. I’m no longer that painfully thin, straight up and straight down sort of girl I had become for a while. Stress is a fat-buster, in tandem with destroying just about everything else in your life. Blogging helped me to blot all of that out. But I digress, because what tonight means is that my gamble paid off. I wasn’t just reaching for an impossible dream, as so many people very kindly took the time to warn me.
I brush off thoughts of the handful of online haters who left mean comments on my lovingly-penned posts. And the spammers who left drivel that had to be deleted, wasting some of my precious online time each night; comments that looked like someone’s cat had been sitting on the keyboard and refused to budge.
But the best bit of all? When my daughter, Rosie, wakes up tomorrow morning and I tell her what has happened, I get to see that little face of hers light up with pride! It isn’t just my blog, but our blog, because we are a team of two, and now it’s official – we’re up there with the best.
‘Mum, it’s so heavy! Where are we going to put it?’ Rosie’s eyes are like saucers, she’s so excited and I know it’s going to be difficult to get her to focus on breakfast.
‘The clock is ticking, Rosie, you need to eat that cereal and head up to the bathroom to clean those teeth. Yes, it’s quite something, isn’t it? And What’s in Rosie’s Suitcase? is an important part of the website – high five me, girl.’
Our hands collide in mid-air as Mum walks into the kitchen.
‘Are my girls celebrating? I’m so proud of you both. How did you feel wearing that gorgeous dress, Leah? It was right for the occasion, wasn’t it?’
I tried on so many dresses to find something smart enough to wear, but when you are restricted to the budget rails there’s only one place to go if you want something special and that’s to the Next clearance sale. When I first saw the Lipsy tag hanging from the dress I half-closed my eyes as I turned it over to reveal the price. At fifty per cent off it was affordable, just, but even without trying it on I knew it was going to be perfect.
‘Yes, Mum, I felt like I was dressed for a red-carpet event.’
She smiles, easing herself down into the chair opposite me with a cup of tea in her hand. Mum stayed overnight to look after Rosie, and Dad is picking her up later this morning.
‘Well, it was an awards ceremony. And you should have let us pay for it, Leah. You’ve been working so hard now for such a long time and you deserve this win. I thought you said Sally was the number one favourite, though?’
I sigh. Sally was overjoyed for me, last night. But we all work hard, because with blogging everything is so transient. People click, scan and click away. Your content must grab and engage the reader at first glance and the visuals need to be strong to justify them lingering long enough to read the whole article. And then add you, hopefully, to their favourites or, even better, subscribe so that they receive your posts via email.
‘I can only assume it’s because of my photographic background that my graphics look so professional. Sally says she’s envious of how quickly I pull them together and I always thought she was just being kind.’
Mum shakes her head while I move the trophy out of arm’s reach of Rosie, so she’ll go back to eating her breakfast.
‘You underestimate yourself sometimes, Leah. I don’t know anyone else who works as hard as you do. You don’t just have two jobs, you have two very intensive jobs. You can’t manage on five hours’ sleep each night forever, honey.’
‘I’m done, Mum.’ Rosie pipes up, pushing back on her chair. ‘I’ll be ready in five. Promise.’
She’s such a good girl and a blessing.
‘Don’t forget your homework, Rosie,’ I call out, but she’s running up the stairs two at a time and the noise will, no doubt, drown out my words. ‘I know, Mum. But photography takes me away from home and the website is something that I can work around the school runs. You and Dad can’t keep dropping everything to come over and babysit every time I’m away. It’s difficult being a one-parent family and I want to be here for Rosie all the time. This is our future and this award might tip the scales and increase my income enough to cover all the bills. This could be it, Mum.’
She’s already clearing the dishes from the table, unable to sit still for more than a few minutes. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree; it’s no wonder I’m a workaholic. But I’m working to maintain a reasonable standard of living for Rosie and for me. Besides, every trip to review a hotel or feature a resort is a free holiday. It’s quality time for us both and having a job that’s also a lot of fun would be a blessing. Unless you find yourself having to fit everything into weekends, days off and working late into the night to get the reviews and posts written up, as I’ve had to do. Which pretty much sums up my life, now. I yawn, unable to disguise the tiredness that never seems to leave me these days.
‘There. Look at you! The last thing you needed was another late night. Why don’t you let us collect Rosie from school and have her for a mid-week sleepover? I’ll make sure she does her homework. You can invite a friend around, relax for a couple of hours and maybe get an early night for a change.’
Having one’s mother constantly worrying about one’s lack of any sort of a social life can be rather demoralising at times.
‘Mum, we’re happy as we are. Having Rosie makes everything I’ve been through worthwhile. I don’t need a man in my life to make me feel complete, really I don’t.’
Mum turns away from loading the dishwasher to look across at me. I know it’s hard for her, too.
‘But what about Rosie, Leah?’
‘We had the conversation several years ago and she never refers to it. Rosie has accepted that her father isn’t coming back and she knows how much she’s loved by the people she does have around her. Her teacher says she’s one of the most well-adjusted kids she’s ever met. Checking that she isn’t having any problems is the first thing I ask at every parents’ evening I attend.’
‘That’s because she’s bubbly, like you. The glass is always half-full and if you both continue through life with that ethos, then you won’t come to any real harm. But the day will come when Rosie will want to spread her wings. What happens when it’s time to let go a little, as she wants to spend more and more time with her friends? It’s a natural progression. If an opportunity to find love comes along, Leah, don’t look in the other direction. Think about it, that’s all I’m saying.’
As we grab coats and don our shoes, it’s a quick hug all round before we head out.
‘Thanks, Mum. You are a star and thank Dad for being the taxi service, yet again.’
‘That’s what we’re here