Josephine Cox

Live the Dream


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have to be at work for seven fifteen,’ he answered her question.

      ‘Why?’ She hated it when he left in the mornings.

      Used to her inquisitions, Luke answered her again. ‘Because I’ve called the men together for a special meeting.’ Leaning sideways he gave her a sound kiss. ‘It wouldn’t go down well if I was late, would it now?’

      ‘And what about me?’

      ‘What do you mean?’

      ‘I don’t want you to leave me, that’s all.’

      Concern showed on his face. ‘What’s wrong? Is there something you’re not telling me?’ He had tried hard to read the signs but her moods were so unpredictable, it was impossible to know.

      ‘No there isn’t!’ She began to grow agitated. ‘I know what you’re thinking, though,’ she snapped sulkily. ‘Go on then. Why don’t you ask me if I’m about to go crazy?’ She was painfully aware of the times when she lost control, and afterwards, filled with shame and fear, she knew little about what had taken place. During that dark period when her mind went into some kind of chaos, she was totally helpless.

      Lately, because of something her sister said, she had convinced herself it was the price she had to pay for taking a lover outside her marriage. Sometimes Georgina said things like that – things that made Sylvia feel bad, and which she found hard to forget. Georgina had always had a spiteful streak. Sometimes they were such friends – like sisters ought to be – and then Georgina would be mean. When they were little, Mummy had said Georgina was just jealous, when Sylvia told tales of her, and to take no notice. But now Sylvia found it hard to cope with her sister’s unkindness, which, as ever, could strike out of the blue.

      Now as she goaded him, the fear was etched in her face. ‘Go on, Luke! Ask me if I’m about to lose control!’

      Turning, he took her gently by the shoulders, his voice soft with compassion. ‘And are you,’ he asked, ‘about to lose control?’ There were times when she took him by surprise. One minute she would be perfectly normal, and the next she would be like a raving lunatic, hitting out at anything and anybody; smashing whatever she could lay her hands on.

      It was at times like that, when he feared she might harm herself.

      ‘Stop fussing.’ Pushing him away, she suddenly smiled. ‘I’m fine,’ she lied. ‘In fact, I’ve never felt better.’

      ‘So, what did you mean just now when you said, “What about me?”’

      ‘Like I said … I don’t want to be left alone, that’s all.’ A little flurry of fear turned her insides over.

      Astonished, he asked, ‘Do you really think I would leave you alone?’

      Just then the rear door opened and Edna popped her head round. ‘Seven o’clock, Mr Hammond,’ she said with a homely grin. ‘And here I am, as promised.’

      Sylvia’s face lit up. ‘Edna, it’s you!’

      ‘Well, it isn’t anybody else, you can be sure o’ that,’ came the chirpy reply. ‘Now then, who wants a brew?’

      ‘Not for me, thanks.’ Concerned about the time, Luke told her, ‘I’d best be off or I’ll be late.’

      ‘Well, it won’t be because I let you down,’ she declared. ‘I were out of my bed a full hour afore time on account o’ you.’ She wagged a finger as she told him mischievously, ‘O’ course, I’ll be wanting overtime money, you understand?’

      He tutted. ‘Oh, I’m not sure I can promise anything like that,’ he teased. He and Edna understood each other very well.

      Having already removed her coat and slung it over her arm, she pretended to put it back on. ‘I’m sorry, sir.’ Her voice was firm but her smile was growing. ‘If you aren’t going to treat me right, I shall take leave of you.’

      Sylvia chuckled. ‘Behave yourselves! Stop teasing her,’ she chided Luke. And turning to Edna, she told her firmly, ‘And you’re just as bad. “Overtime money”, indeed. We’ve always looked after you and always will.’

      Looking mortified, Edna curtsied. ‘Sorry, ma’am,’ she stuttered contritely. ‘Please don’t sack me. I won’t do it again.’

      With a little laugh, Sylvia asked, ‘Didn’t you say something about “making a brew”?’

      Edna laughed out loud. ‘I’ll make it right away,’ and she departed the room in a burst of merry laughter.

      ‘Edna is pure gold,’ Luke said. ‘She’ll take good care of you, and before you know it I’ll be back home.’

      Sylvia nodded. ‘I should have known you wouldn’t leave me on my own,’ she apologised. ‘I’m sorry I was surly before.’

      He slid his arm round her waist. ‘It’s all right.’

      ‘You’re so patient with me,’ she answered softly. ‘Any other man would have left long since.’

      ‘No they wouldn’t,’ he assured her, ‘not if they loved you as much as I do.’ Yet though he loved her, he was not in love with her. Sadly, with her affair with Arnold Stratton, and its consequences, she had severed that very special bond that held them together as man and wife.

      It had been of her choosing, when she’d taken another man in place of Luke. But she was still his wife and, as far as he was concerned, that gave him certain responsibilities.

      ‘Kiss me, Luke … please.’ Like a spoiled child, she gave up her face for a kiss and he obliged. ‘I’ll come to the door with you.’ Taking hold of his hand, Sylvia went with him to the front door. ‘What’s this meeting about?’

      ‘I’ll tell you when I come home,’ he promised.

      ‘Tell me now!’

      ‘There’s no time now.’

      ‘I won’t let you go until you tell me!’ The smile remained, but the voice began to quiver.

      Edna appeared on cue. ‘Now, now, dear. Let your husband get off,’ she urged gently. ‘He has important things to see to. Let’s you and me go and sit down for a few minutes, eh? I’ll make you some toast and marmalade, what about that?’

      For a long, worrying moment, the younger woman stared at Edna, then she smiled at Luke, a coy little smile. ‘I’ll let you go,’ she told him, ‘for another kiss.’

      Bending to kiss her on the mouth, he assured her, ‘We’ll talk when I get home. All right?’

      Her smile widened. ‘Yes … all right.’

      ‘That’s my girl!’

      ‘Come on then, my dear,’ Edna said. ‘I hope you haven’t forgotten, we’re going shopping today.’

      Sylvia appeared not to be listening. Instead she was standing at the open door, her gaze following Luke as he went to the car. A moment later he was gone and she was still waving. ‘It’s all right, he’s gone now.’ Edna would have closed the door but Sylvia put her foot there.

      ‘Why did he have to go early?’

      ‘He’s promised to tell you all about it when he gets home, and you told me yourself, he’s never yet broken a promise. Come on now, let’s go and get that toast on, eh?’ Edna had learned to read the signs. ‘Close the door, then we’ll go into the kitchen you and me.’

      Ignoring her, Sylvia waved after Luke until her arm ached and when she turned it was with an expression of disbelief. ‘He’s gone!’

      Edna quietly smiled. ‘That’s right, my dear … he’s gone to his work. So don’t you think you should close the door now?’ When Sylvia made no move, she stepped forward to shut out the cold morning air.

      ‘NO!’