I thought that while this was a delightful view of parenting it was also worryingly naïve and didn’t take into account the many years of hard work, patience and dedication that lay ahead for Jade (and Tyler). ‘Do you know when your next scan is?’ I asked.
Jade shook her head.
‘We’ll ask when we go to the clinic next week. Your appointment card is over there.’ I pointed to the bookshelf where I’d put the card. ‘I’ll make a note of the time and date in my diary too.’
‘I’m going to love my baby and give it lots of attention,’ Jade suddenly said. ‘I’ll show my mum she’s wrong.’
‘Wrong about what?’ I asked.
‘She wants me to give up my baby for adoption. What does she know?’
I thought Jade’s mother probably knew quite a lot about babies, considering she’d had five of her own, but I didn’t say so. It was important I kept the line of communication open to establish a relationship with Jade, and agreeing that her mother might have a point wouldn’t endear me to her.
‘Your mum’s probably worried how you’re going to cope,’ I said. ‘I know I would be if you were my daughter.’
‘I’ll manage, and I’m going to be a better mum than she is,’ Jade said. ‘I’m gonna give my kid everything it wants.’
Where to begin on the subject of parenting? I thought. I took a breath and chose my words carefully. ‘You know, Jade, part of being a good parent is that as well as giving your child love, attention and presents, you put in place boundaries and say no when you have to. That’s what makes a child grow up to be a responsible adult who knows right from wrong. If a parent doesn’t put in place boundaries, but gives in to the child all the time, the child grows up to be very self-centred and doesn’t know how to share or behave.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ Jade said. ‘But I’m going to be there for my kids.’
‘Good. Weren’t your parents there for you?’
Jade shook her head. ‘Dad comes and sees us sometimes but he always brings his new girlfriend and I hate her. Mum works and then she sees her boyfriend most evenings. She ain’t there much either.’
‘So who looks after your brothers and sisters when your mum is out?’ I asked, for I knew from the referral that Jade’s siblings were all younger than she was.
‘Me usually,’ Jade said. ‘Now she’ll have to find someone else to be her skivvy, cos I’ve got me own life to lead.’ Jade shifted position on the bed to try to get more comfortable.
‘Did you have a lot of responsibility at home?’ I asked her gently.
‘Yeah, but I love my brothers and sisters. I didn’t mind really. I miss them.’
‘You can still see them,’ I said. ‘You can go home and visit, can’t you?’
Jade looked down into her lap and began tugging anxiously at her sleeve. ‘Mum’s pissed off with me. She says I’m a bad influence on the kids and I should stay away. Since I told her I was pregnant we’ve argued non-stop. She told me I was a silly cow for putting myself in the club. She said I’ve made the same mistake she did and I should have known better. She got pregnant when she was my age, when she was drunk. Two nights ago we had our worst row ever and I called her a slag, so she chucked me out.’
‘Oh dear,’ I said. ‘I think you were both angry with each other. When you’ve had time to calm down and cool off I’m sure things will be better. Have you spoken to your mum since you left and went to Meryl’s?’ I asked.
‘No.’
‘If your mum’s there tomorrow when we collect your clothes, it might be a good opportunity to make up,’ I suggested.
‘No, I don’t want to see her yet. We’ll go in the morning. She doesn’t get home from work until one o’clock.’
Which I had to accept. I couldn’t force Jade to see her mother. ‘What work does your mum do?’ I asked.
‘Cleaning. She cleans offices early morning – six to nine, and then rich people’s houses until twelve. She has a sleep in the afternoon.’
‘So who looked after your brothers and sisters in the morning and took them to school if your mum was at work?’
‘Me. And I ain’t doing it any more. Who takes your kids to school? Because it won’t be me.’
I smiled. ‘I wouldn’t ask you to. Adrian goes by himself or with friends, and I take Paula.’
‘Just asking,’ Jade said. ‘Cos I know some foster carers take liberties with their foster kids and use them as cheap labour.’
‘Do they?’ I asked, shocked. ‘I don’t know any foster carers who treat their children that way.’ However, I did know that foster carers and social workers often got a bad press on the estate where Jade lived.
Jade didn’t answer but pulled a face and stretched out her legs to try to get more comfortable. ‘I’ll be glad when I’ve had this baby,’ she said. ‘No one told me how uncomfortable it was going to be being pregnant. It keeps kicking me, the little sod.’ She shifted again and then took hold of my hand and placed it on her swollen stomach. ‘Here, feel this,’ she said.
I had the palm of my hand gently resting on the outside of her T-shirt and for a moment there was nothing. Then suddenly I felt the wall of her stomach bulge and tighten as a little fist or foot kicked out.
‘Isn’t that truly wonderful?’ I smiled. ‘Don’t you think it’s incredible the way new life has grown within you? It’s a little miracle.’
But Jade wasn’t impressed. ‘I’ll be glad when it’s out,’ she said. ‘Then I can walk and sit proper again.’
We continued talking for a while longer, and Jade asked me about childbirth and if it hurt. I reassured her, saying that while the contractions would be uncomfortable she wouldn’t suffer, as pain relief would always be available at the hospital. She said she wanted Tyler to be with her when she had the baby but he wasn’t sure he wanted to be there and kept making excuses.
‘He’s the dad. He should be there,’ Jade said adamantly.
‘It would be nice if he could be there,’ I said. ‘Although I can understand that at his age he might not feel he could. Who will be with you as your birthing partner if Tyler can’t do it?’ I asked.
‘Me mum was going to but we’re not speaking now. So I guess I’ll be by myself.’
‘Jade, love,’ I said, patting her arm, ‘I’m sure you and your mum will have made it up long before your baby is born, but if by any chance you haven’t, and Tyler decides he can’t be there, I will be with you. If you’d like me to.’ Although Jade would have left me by the time her baby was born, there was no way I wanted her contemplating having her baby without the support of a birthing partner.
‘Yeah, OK,’ she said easily as though she was agreeing to go to the cinema or shopping with me.
We chatted some more – about everyday things – and then Jade said she was ‘knackered’ and wanted to go to sleep. I saw her into bed, making sure she was comfortable and fetching the glass of water she asked for.
‘If you need anything in the night call me,’ I said. ‘Don’t go wandering around in a strange house by yourself – you may trip and fall. I’ll leave you to get up in the morning in your own time. I’m usually back from taking Paula to school by 9.15. So I’ll get you some breakfast then, and then we’ll go to your mum’s. Is that all right?’
‘Yeah, sure.’
‘Goodnight then, love. And not too long on that mobile. You need your sleep.’ For as I was leaving her bedroom, despite being ‘knackered’ Jade had found