those efforts to put on a brave face. Because that was all they were.
So about six weeks after her mum’s death, Fiona was greatly surprised to be forced to brake suddenly because of the car that had just swerved into her path. A yellow bubble car, no less. Fiona was intrigued. How very strange to see it there, right in her path, when she and her mum had talked about it so often. Of course, Fiona was a little angry too. After all, she’d had to brake suddenly. And all because of the silly elderly woman driver who didn’t know how to stop in a side street. ‘Wait a moment,’ Fiona now said to herself. ‘That wasn’t just any elderly lady at the wheel.’ It was her mum!
As the car sped off, the woman even gave Fiona a cheeky wave. Fiona, her heart pounding in her ears, sped off after her. For these seconds, her mum had come back to life and she had such a wish to talk to her.
All the way along a straight stretch of road, Fiona could see her mum, always just ahead but not quite near enough to catch. Then, all of a sudden, she was near enough. Fiona knew the moment was coming. Both cars pulled up towards the corner. The yellow bubble car went roaring round. Fiona followed suit. Then there was nothing. The yellow car had gone. Fiona stopped. The road was perfectly straight – no other bends for a good mile ahead, or side roads, or anywhere a car could have pulled off. Yet the little bubble car was gone, as completely, Fiona recounted, as if it had vanished into oblivion, gone up in a puff of smoke. Fiona was aghast. That was perhaps for all of two minutes. Then she realized that this was a sign, a very special sign from her mum to show her all was well. There was no need to be distressed.
At last the dream had been achieved. And not just achieved. Fiona’s mum was driving in a way that would have done credit to Le Mans. She hadn’t just succeeded. She had succeeded with a will. And that was what counted.
‘The Pregnancy’
Very early on in my career, I nearly packed the whole thing in! Why? Because I thought I had got it all wrong. The client in question wishes to keep her identity a secret. However, she has allowed me to use her story as it is such a concrete piece of evidence that life does indeed go on after death. This particular story has been told several times but, even after all these years, I clearly remember the details and the devastating effect it had on my client – not to mention almost on my career!
We’ll call her Fiona and she lives in St Andrews, not far from my home. When Fiona first came to me, probably around 1990, she was aged 46 and was pretty certain she was menopausal. She was experiencing many changes in her body, her menstrual cycle had completely ceased and she didn’t feel well within herself. She didn’t mention any of this to me but I picked up on how she was feeling. She came to see me because she wanted me to confirm what was wrong with her.
It’s often the case that I actually feel physically the client’s symptoms and pains – not a pleasant experience! When I described these feelings to Fiona, she looked at me a little strangely and agreed that she was feeling exactly that way. She didn’t seem too perturbed and quite blithely told me she was on ‘the change’.
At that point, I became very aware of a spirit. I heard the name Isobel and could feel the presence of a female spirit. It was a male spirit’s voice, however, that spoke to me. The man proceeded to tell me that Fiona was pregnant but that she didn’t know.
Without thinking, I blurted out what I was hearing. I could see Fiona was very agitated by what I was saying – in fact, she was downright annoyed. I passed on several messages from this man, most of which allowed her to identify the spirit as that of her father. She agreed with everything I was saying, except for the bit about the pregnancy.
The spirit clearly told me that he had the child in his arms. I found this interesting because I had always believed that life begins at the moment of conception. In my view, even the earliest of foetus is a human being. So I was confused as to what I was being told. If Fiona was pregnant, then surely the foetus was inside her – it couldn’t be in two places, so how could it also be in heaven? I’ve since seen many scenarios in which the spirit of the baby, if it’s not to be born whether that be due to miscarriage or abortion – remains in heaven. I should point out here that I have never had any sign that this is the case with stillbirths.
After talking some more, the consultation ended. I knew Fiona was not one bit happy with me. As I didn’t have much confidence in myself or my work at that early stage of my career, I took Fiona’s annoyance personally. I was deeply upset that perhaps I had got it wrong. Days went by and I still couldn’t shake this dreadful mistake from my mind. However, I had to keep to my diary so I followed my normal routine. Although my confidence had been knocked, I didn’t cancel one single appointment.
It was almost three months before I heard from Fiona again. She asked for another appointment as soon as possible. Of course I agreed, and we arranged to meet again two days later. Those two days were a living hell for me. I was so afraid that this was it for my career – the end had come before it had even properly started.
Very nervously, I answered the door to Fiona and we walked, without conversation, to my office. We sat down. I took a deep breath.
‘You were right, Katie – I was pregnant! Forty-six years old and pregnant. I genuinely thought I was beginning the change of life.’
Fiona then apologized and admitted that she hadn’t been terribly flattering about me and my work (and that’s putting it mildly), and had told a number of people what I had told her and how wrong I was. To this day I can still see her face and how genuinely sorry she was.
Fiona explained that she’d had a termination as she was just too overwhelmed by the fact that she was pregnant. Her children were almost grown and the last thing she wanted was another baby. She also told me that she had always been so against abortion but that she felt it wouldn’t have been fair to bring an unwanted baby into the world. I knew from her eyes how sad she was about her decision, but I also knew she felt she had done the right thing.
And it is for that reason that Fiona wishes her identity to be protected.
We spoke more about the spirit of her father, who was there that day too. This time I couldn’t only hear him, I could also see his face vividly, as if he were alive. I remember thinking how large his nose was! Again, he had the baby in his arms, so I was able to reassure Fiona that her baby was in capable hands. At that point in time, this was something I merely surmised and hoped was true. I didn’t have the experience or the knowledge I do now to know that this was very much the case.
The most amazing thing for me that day was when Fiona’s father began to leave. I swear he winked at me – a sort of ‘knowing’ wink, as if telling me something with his eyes.
I now firmly believe what he was trying to say was that the baby was safe and that she was in good hands.
The Piper Alpha
As a nation, we will never forget the dreadful tragedy on the oil rig, Piper Alpha. So many lives were lost and so many lives were changed forever by the enormity of the tragedy.
I was carrying out consultations for a group of three women. The first two were completed with relative ease and without complication. When the third girl came in, however, I immediately saw a heart-shaped pendant around her neck. Like a rabbit in the headlights of a car, I almost froze as I watched the pendant grow larger and larger. I know it was only increasing in size in my mind, but it was quite a harrowing experience. I knew instantly that the pendant had some significance on my client, and that the significance was enormous.
I didn’t hesitate in telling my client what I had seen but her reaction wasn’t that unusual. I did, however, notice that she became very sad-looking. Her eyes took on a faraway look – hard to describe, but they just looked so terribly sad.
As I began tuning into my client, making small talk as is often the case at this stage in the consultation, I became aware of the smell of smoke. I was frightened when I then began to see flames – huge flames – all blowing in different directions. The flames grew larger and, as they did so, I also became aware of the sound of waves. The sound grew in intensity, as did the flames. I was thoroughly confused.