‘They’re not that high,’ she said, not bothering with the joke. ‘They’re just gorgeous and I bought them specially and I haven’t got anything else that goes with my new dress.’
He looked at her sceptically. ‘You must have something else you can wear . . .’
‘Well, I haven’t. All I’ve got are flip-flops, sensible dog-walking shoes, gardening boots and wellies. The only other pair of going-out shoes I own are the ones I wore with my going-away dress, and how many years ago was that? They’re so out of fashion I’m expecting a call from the V&A any day now.’
‘Don’t have a go at me, I was just saying,’ Sam said, sounding hurt as he headed back towards the bathroom, making Suzie feel guilty that she had snapped at him. She sighed; if she was honest, it wasn’t only Sam’s fault that things weren’t great between them. She had too many secrets to make life easy for either of them.
Suzie also knew that if she had worn her old shoes to the party, Sam wouldn’t have said a word, and even after all these years she couldn’t decide whether that was because he just didn’t notice or he just didn’t care. He always used to say that he loved her just the way she was, which in one way was wonderful, but as time had gone on – and particularly at the moment, when things between them were so tense – Suzie had begun to feel less certain. There was a very fine line between acceptance and indifference.
Giving up on the shoes, she took her new outfit out of the wardrobe and held it up against herself. It was a rich Persian blue, beautifully slimming, beautifully cut, column dress, with a little matching jacket that had cost a small fortune even though it had been in the sale. She ran her fingers over the fabric. With her job and the girls growing up it had been so long since Suzie had bought anything really nice for herself. She turned to look in the mirror to gauge the effect. The colour brought out the deep blue of her eyes and looked lovely against her lightly tanned skin. It had been a great choice.
And okay, so it was more than twice what Suzie had ever paid for an outfit before, but she had needed something new, something special for tonight and Sam could hardly complain – she was earning her own money these days, proper money, not peanuts. Now that she was more successful it was time she started to make more of an effort, that was what Matt had said. ‘Dress for success,’ he had said, and if this dress was anything to go by, success was a foregone conclusion.
Seeing her sister Lizzie, even when she was dressed down, had made Suzie feel dowdy and plain, so she was even more pleased that she had made the effort to find something special to wear for the party.
She and Sam had been together so long that she wondered if he still really noticed that she was a woman. Not that Suzie had ever been a girlie girl and these days working in the garden all day meant that she had a lot of checked shirts and jeans and hands that said more about manual labour than manicures.
But all that was going to change if Matt had his way.
Matt. She sighed.
Matt had insisted on going to Cambridge with her to help choose the dress for the party, and when – after half a dozen outfits – she came out of the changing room in the blue outfit, he had given her a round of applause, saying she looked lovely, really gorgeous. For the first time in years, as she did a little twirl for him and the shop assistant, that was exactly how she felt.
Hidden away in the back of the wardrobe were the other outfits Matt had insisted she should buy. When she had protested that they were far too expensive and she couldn’t justify spending that much money on anything, let alone clothes, Matt had insisted on buying them for her as a treat. An investment was what he had actually said, as he had had them wrapped, and after a token stand-off she had let him settle the bill. And now they were yet another guilty secret that she was keeping from Sam. How had things gone this far?
Out on the landing Sam was pulling on the crisp white shirt she’d ironed for him. Watching him doing up the buttons, she felt a pang of sadness. It used to be that he said thank you when she did those things for him. It used to be that he thought she was lovely, and said so.
Just when exactly had they started to take each other for granted? There was a time when he used to come up behind her and slide his hands around her waist while she was at the ironing board, snuggling up, kissing her neck and making her giggle, till she had to push him away, afraid of burning herself or the thing she was ironing. Sometimes just recently it felt as if she was remembering a different lifetime, with two different people.
‘Penny for them,’ Sam said, as he caught her staring.
Suzie managed a smile, not knowing how to start the conversation that she needed to have with him.
‘No, it’s fine, nothing important,’ she said. ‘I was just thinking.’
‘Well, we haven’t got time for any of that,’ said Sam, buttoning his cuffs. ‘We need to be out of here.’
*
‘All right, all right – I’m coming, I’m coming, take your finger off the bloody bell,’ growled Liz as she hurried across the landing and down the stairs of Rose and Jack’s cottage. The bell kept on ringing and ringing until finally Liz threw open the front door.
‘Yes?’ she barked. ‘What is it?
‘Oh hello, love, I’m sorry, we’re not too early, are we?’ said the woman on the step, as she looked Liz up and down, all smiles and a big hat. ‘Have we got the right place? Only I wasn’t sure if there was anyone home. We didn’t want to arrive late and miss the big surprise. I’m Beryl and this is Charlie – Charlie and Beryl? Here for the party, Jack and Rose’s wedding anniversary?’ She waved an invitation under Liz’s nose. ‘We were there first time around, weren’t we, Charlie? I used to work with Rose years ago. And I wore this hat for their wedding. I thought it would be a nice touch to wear it again. What do you think?’ She turned left and right so that Liz could get the full benefit of all those chins in profile.
‘Charlie nearly gave it to Scouts for their Guy on Bonfire Night, cheeky monkey, but I’m glad I hung onto it now. Although I can’t get into my dress these days and we gave Charlie’s suit to the local amateur dramatics for some kiddies’ thing they were doing, didn’t we, Charlie? Are we the first?’ she said, peering past Liz into the confines of the hall. ‘Where have you got Rose and Jack hidden then?’
Liz was about to reply when a noise from the road made the woman look back over her shoulder.
‘Oh my God,’ she squealed, clapping her hands together. ‘Look at that, there’s June and Roger Bell – I haven’t seen them for donkey’s years. Always among the front-runners, those two. We were always the first to arrive everywhere, me and Charlie, June and Roger. Do you remember, Charlie?’ And with that she scuttled off back down the path to embrace the new arrivals.
‘You’re early,’ said Liz grimly to Charlie, who was standing on the doorstep holding a card and a present.
‘I know, Beryl always likes to be early, doesn’t like to miss anything. All the clocks in our house are set fifteen minutes fast, just in case,’ he said, eyes slowly taking in Liz’s tanned legs, bare feet and skimpy little robe. ‘Anything I can help you with, is there?’
‘No, thank you,’ she said briskly. ‘Everything is under control.’
‘Righty-oh. So, where would you like us then?’
Liz hesitated. Trust Suzie to be somewhere else when Liz needed her. Typical.
‘If you’d like to go round into the back garden,’ said Liz, managing a thin smile. ‘The marquee, on the lawn, you can’t miss it if you just go round the side, through the gate.’ She pointed to make sure he’d got it. ‘My sister will be back soon. She’s actually the one doing all the hands-on stuff. She shouldn’t be very long.’
He grinned. ‘Righty-oh, well in that case we’ll go round there then and wait,’ said Charlie, although he didn’t move. Instead he looked slightly sheepish