herself in for and after a deep breath she put the key in the lock.
It was worse than she’d expected – and she hadn’t expected a great deal. The paisley brown wallpaper was visibly peeling off the walls, exposing a multitude of wires. The furniture was non-existent and the floors were bare boards, though Casey thought that was probably a blessing; the idea of having to live with a carpet, riddled with god knows what, might take some doing. The kitchen was really a kitchenette, built as if an afterthought on the far right wall of the L-shaped room. The stove was filthy and Casey reckoned it was a good thing she hated cooking. Surprisingly the kettle was new; so at least she’d be able to have a cup of coffee in the mornings without fear of electrocution.
She opened the door to the bathroom to see what horrors awaited her and immediately shut it closed again. The last door was to the bedroom; in it was a double bed with a mattress still covered in plastic wrapping, a side cabinet with one of its legs being propped up by a pile of yellowing porn magazines, and a large curtainless window overlooking the street.
Even though she wanted to pick up her bag, leaving the squalid flat to its crawling inhabitants, she’d no other choice but to stay there now. The rent with the deposit had worked out to nearly three and a half grand which had totally wiped out all her savings and she certainly couldn’t afford to lose it, plus, unlike most landlords, Mr Goldman only insisted on hard cash and not references and Casey knew it’d be hard to come by a flat in London whose owner didn’t require all the proper paperwork and, for that, being extorted by ruthless landlords was the price she’d have to pay. Not wanting to open the bathroom door again, Casey washed her face and brushed her teeth in the kitchenette sink. Pulling out a beige sweater from her bag, she touched the tattered red diary lying at the bottom of it. She’d started writing it when she was fifteen and had only kept it up for a couple of years, but the idea of throwing it out had never even crossed her mind. Over the years she’d moved around the North of England and the first thing she ever packed was her diary, always unable to throw it away, but always unable to open it. Now she had no choice. If she wanted to reconnect with the girl she once was, she had to remember. That girl had had hope, ambition, but more importantly she’d been innocent – and when Casey thought about who she’d once been, it was if she was thinking about another person.
Opening it, Casey read the first entry – written in red capital letters and two lines long.
Sat 15th July 1995
OH GOD – I’M PREGNANT!!!! MUM AND DAD ARE GOING TO KILL ME.
Casey slammed the diary closed and threw it back in the bag. She needed a drink; preferably several. It was the end of a long day and she refused to let herself feel guilty about needing to take the edge off. She could start her good intentions tomorrow. For now, she was going to let her hair down.
Looking round at her new home, she realised how utterly alone she was; moving round so much had given her few opportunities to make friends but this was different and the loneliness frightened her. There was no hiding from the truth either; she’d hit rock bottom and if she was going to ever climb out of this hole, she needed to find the courage to do what she’d come here to do.
Unable to stay in the flat for a moment longer, she hurriedly pulled on her jumper, brushed back her long auburn hair and grabbed her jacket before heading out and down the stairs, just in time to see a woman from the flat below being dragged out into the street by a man who was clearly a junkie.
Walking up Old Compton Street, Casey stopped to read a board outside a comedy club; she could do with a laugh. But tonight she really needed to have a quiet drink and think about what she needed to do. After all, there was a reason why she’d come here, and she didn’t want to get distracted by anything else. She continued to walk into the heart of Soho, not noticing the stare of the man across the street.
CHAPTER TWO
Alfie Jennings hated tarts. He didn’t mind fucking them but that was as far as it went. He’d certainly no wish to exchange small talk with them – he got enough of that at home with his wife, Janine, without some big-breasted brass talking shit in his ear. All he’d wanted was to get his cock sucked in peace and now he was being forced to listen to a brass talking ten to the dozen.
‘Bleedin’ hell it was cold outside last night; I nearly froze my tits off and it’d been so sunny during the day. Apparently the rest of the week is going to be rainy but I’m …’
The shoe missed, which was Alfie’s intention – it wasn’t really his scene to hit women, not unless he really had to, but he was certainly coming close to it now; the brass was jangling his nerves with all her yacking.
‘Ow! What was that bleedin’ for, Alf? You could’ve hit me on my boat race!’
‘If I’d wanted to shag a flippin’ weather girl, I’d have given Ulrika a call. And if I was trying to hit you, believe me darlin’, I wouldn’t have missed.’
‘Oh that’s nice ain’t it? If that clump of a shoe had hit me, it would’ve split open me fucking lip and then how would I give blow jobs then? It’d take at least a week to heal and that’d be a whole week’s money lost, not to mention …’
Alfie walked into his en-suite bathroom and slammed the door closed; hookers weren’t what they used to be. He could remember the time they fucked, sucked and kept their mouth shut. Now they all wanted to talk; thought it was their right to; and that pissed him off no end. He wanted a whore not a fucking wife.
Still hearing the complaints on the other side of the door, Alfie Jennings leant his muscular body on the edge of his black marble sink which had cost him a small fortune and no end of grief.
The men who’d delivered it had tried to tell him it was so heavy that they couldn’t bring it up the stairs due to health and safety reasons, so they’d no other option but to leave it on the pavement outside. He’d offered them a score each and asked them politely to make an exception, but they’d given him a point blank no, before starting to get lippy with him.
‘Sorry mate, I’m not hurting my back or getting a parking ticket for you; you’ll need to get some other mug to lug it up the stairs.’
Alfie had given the men time to grin triumphantly at each other before he’d grabbed hold of the sweaty fat one, pinning him up against his newly decorated hallway whilst noticing the man’s yellow-stained teeth as he grimaced in fear.
‘You better shut yer north and south you paki cunt otherwise I might do something I regret.’ The look of fear on the two men’s faces had amused Alfie no end, making it more entertaining to watch them later struggling up his stairs with blood streaming out of their broken noses, carrying the handcrafted sink.
The whole country was changing; nobody wanted to do anything for anyone else unless there was something in it for them. Alfie knew no one should really have to go to those extremes just to get some bellends to help him; not that he didn’t enjoy a ruck. Violence to him was like a good wine you savoured and took pleasure in any time of the day.
Sighing, he opened the smoky glassed bathroom window, enjoying the sound of West End life and taking in the cutting cold air on his bare chest.
His flat looked out over his favourite street in London and was directly opposite his club. Old Compton Street was in Alfie’s mind the heart of Soho; he’d even argue it was the heart of the capital: he never tired of it. He could still remember the excitement he’d felt as a boy when he’d jumped on the number 8 bus with his father on a Saturday night, heading away from the gloom of the East End and towards the heaving streets of Soho.
His father regularly visited an old brass at the Soho Square end of Greek Street, leaving Alfie outside no matter what the weather. Far from seeing this as another spiteful torment from his bullying father, Alfie had always relished the time, taking the opportunity to explore the smells and sounds of the Soho streets. Even on the coldest of winter nights the lights and the vibrancy of the people had made Alfie feel warm.
He’d