– sorry.’
‘That’s OK. Can you tell me about the Real World? What’s it like?’
‘Some of it is like here, only not as vivid. Compared to The Land, the Real World seems to have a thin veil of grey over everything.’
‘Sounds awful.’
‘Sometimes it is – but it’s my home, or at least was – and no one ever tried to kill me there.’
‘I didn’t try to kill you!’ Fergal protested.
‘I didn’t mean you.’
‘Who else has tried to kill you?’
‘It’s a long list.’
‘Conor,’ Araf said, and I jumped. The guy is so quiet, you forget that he is there. ‘If you have enemies, your travelling companions should know about it.’
He had a point. ‘OK, two people have tried to kill me – Cialtie and Nieve.’
‘Cialtie and Nieve,’ Araf repeated, ‘this is not good. Why do they want to kill you?’
I searched for a lie to keep them happy but couldn’t do it – I had to trust these guys. I just hoped they weren’t big prophecy fans. ‘Because Deirdre is my mother.’
For the first time, probably in history, Araf looked startled. ‘Who is your father?’
Before I could answer we heard the whinny of horses and a cry for help – it was Essa. I grabbed my stick and leaped to my feet. We found her with her banta stick drawn, standing between the horses and four wild boars. I had never seen a live boar before but I am certain that the ones in the Real World are nowhere near as big as these boys. They had Essa surrounded and looked mean. I was shocked to see Fergal and Araf walk up to them like they were puppies. One turned and charged at Fergal, four hundred pounds of flesh pushing two enormous tusks, hurtling towards him, and he just stood there, like a rabbit caught in headlights. I dived and pushed him out of the way, almost getting clobbered myself.
‘What is the matter with you?’ I screamed as we both clambered to our feet.
‘What’s the matter with me? What’s the matter with the boar?’
We circled over to Essa.
‘I have never seen anything like this,’ she said. ‘Something is very wrong with these animals.’
‘What do you normally do when a boar attacks?’ I whispered.
‘Boars don’t usually attack,’ she said. ‘This is a very bad sign.’
‘Shoo!’ Araf said, waving his hands and walking towards the biggest one of them. ‘Go home!’
I was a bit jealous that Araf was having a longer conversation with this pig than he had ever had with me. Suddenly the boar charged him. Amazingly Araf stood his ground and with the reflexes of a cat, grabbed the boar’s tusks and twisted. The two of them rolled once and came up on their feet. Araf skidded backwards then found footing on a tree root and held fast. I have never seen such a display of strength.
As I marvelled, the boar that had attacked Fergal charged back for a second shot at him. Fergal legged it into the night. I would have helped him but the remaining two animals simultaneously came at Essa and me. Now I understood why Fergal had frozen. Forget horror movies, if you really want a fright that will soil your trousers, then stand in front of a charging boar. It’s amazing how fast your mind can work when you are about to be gored. The first thing I hoped was that I was somehow related to the charging swine, then I remembered an old history lesson that mentioned how people in medieval Europe used to hunt boar. They would plant the end of a sharp stick in the ground and wait for the animal to charge. If they got it right, the boar impaled itself – if not, the hunter was the one that got run through.
This animal was almost on me. I dropped to one knee, planted the base of my stick in the ground, aimed the knob of my staff just below the neck and ducked my head. I got lucky. If I hadn’t hit directly in the centre of its chest the stick would have glanced off and I would be singing soprano in the boys’ choir. Amazingly my aim was true and that sucker was actually launched over my head! Its back hoof clipped me on the forehead as it went over, but other than that I was unharmed. My hazel stick bent but it held and pole-vaulted a very surprised creature sideways into a tree. It ran off, squealing into the night like a frightened piglet.
I didn’t have time to gloat – Essa was in trouble. She had lost her stick and was down on her side, and her attacker was preparing for a killer charge. There was no way I was going to cover the distance between us in time to help. I reached into my sock and threw Dahy’s dagger just as the boar began to move. I swear that knife swerved with the movement of the animal and stabbed it in the neck – right up to the hilt. It literally stopped it dead.
Essa had been winded by her own staff as she tried to block the first charge, but she hadn’t been gored. Araf’s opponent just gave up and ran away – smart animal. Fergal returned with a flaming branch from the fire that he had used to frighten his pursuer away.
Essa got slowly to her feet and looked at the dead animal. ‘You shouldn’t have killed it,’ she said.
‘Excuse me, didn’t you mean to say, “Thank you, Conor, for saving my life”?’
‘We don’t kill animals in The Land without their permission.’
‘I didn’t see the boar asking you if you wanted to be turned into a pegboard!’
‘Nevertheless, you shouldn’t have killed it.’ She placed her hands on the dead hulk and mumbled a prayer.
‘I can’t believe this. I thought you might at least be grateful enough to maybe not want me dead.’
‘She wants you dead too?’ Fergal said. ‘What is going on?’
It was moment of truth time.
‘My father is Oisin – OK?’
‘You are the son of the one-handed prince?’ Araf said.
‘Yes, I am.’
Araf raised his banta stick and came at me.
THE HAZELLANDS
This was an attack I was not going to survive. I had seen Araf’s banta stick prowess and I had seen his strength and agility with the boar – plus I was unarmed. I dropped to my knees and covered my head. I felt the swish of his lead-filled stick as it travelled close to my head, and then I heard a crack and a squeal of a boar behind me. I opened my eyes, without taking my hands off my head, looked around and saw an unconscious boar.
‘Good one, Araf!’ Fergal yelled. ‘I didn’t even see him coming.’
‘This is a bad sign,’ Essa said. ‘The Pookas need to be informed of this.’
‘Pookas?’
‘Pookas are the animal tenders in The Land. They are having a hard time at the moment. Cialtie has stopped their gold allowance completely. They must have abandoned the Eastlands. We should get back to the fire.’
‘So, none of you is going to kill me?’ I called after them, still on my knees with my arms covering my head.
‘Not me,’ Fergal said.
‘Maybe later,’ Essa said.
‘How about you, Araf?’ I asked, standing.
‘I’m just a farmer,’ he said. ‘I don’t kill people.’
After the animal attack