I realised that they probably thought that our arrow wall would burn them as well. Well, I wasn’t going to tell them their mistake, it was better than a frontal attack – not much, but you take what comfort you can get in a situation like this. Araf and Essa squared off to meet the attack from the left, Fergal and I turned to face the right. I looked at Fergal and he was grinning from ear to ear, we both were. We were definitely related.
When Hair Guy pointed behind us, no one looked. We weren’t stupid enough to fall for that old trick. So I jumped when I heard, from the rear, my mother’s voice shouting my name. She may not have been there for me when I was a little kid but she sure was making up for lost time now. There she was, in all of her animal-skinned splendour, yew wand in her hand, standing next to a V-shaped gap in the blackthorn wall.
The Banshees were almost on us. I grabbed Fergal by the collar and called to the others. As soon as we jumped through, Deirdre raised her wand and invoked something to close the thorns behind us. Seven Banshees dived through the gap before it closed with a sickening scream on the eighth. Araf, as usual, was ready for action. He instantly knocked out the Banshee that went for Deirdre. I didn’t have time to thank him because one came for me.
If I close my eyes I can still see his face, I can still picture the stripes embroidered on his tunic and can still see the eyes – young eyes. I can remember everything about him – he was the first man I ever killed. I didn’t want to. As soon as the fight began, I knew I was a much better swordsman. After a couple of parries, I saw that he had almost no defensive skill. One counter-strike would have drawn blood, so I tried the Dahy manoeuvre in hopes of knocking him out with my elbow. He parried the feint just as he should have, but when I went in with the elbow I lost my footing and went down. My opponent was not as gracious as me – he came at me with a coup de grâce, and I had only one option. From the ground, I beat the point of his sword to the outside and planted my blade in his chest. I will always remember the shock on his face. I’m sure that when he woke up that morning this was not the way he imagined his day would end.
I stood up and saw the second one coming at me and did nothing. I was in such a daze about actually killing someone that I just stared with almost amusement as this screaming Banshee ran at me with an axe cocked over his head. I probably would have just watched him until he split my head open, but that didn’t happen. Like it was in a dream, I saw a shadow step in front of me and the flash of a blade. The next thing I knew, I was casually watching the Banshee run past me – minus its upper arms and a head. I turned to look at my saviour and said, ‘Thanks, Dad.’
One of Big Hair’s troops on the other side was stupid enough to take a swipe at the blackthorns with a sword. The air filled with flying thorns and screams. The Banshees backed off – fast. Araf, Essa, Fergal and I were miraculously unharmed. Four of the seven attackers that had followed us in were dead, three were unconscious. Deirdre used her wand again and the thorns opened enough for Araf to throw the dead and unconscious Banshees through.
I watched all of this as if in a trance. I was a bumbling idiot. It felt as if my mind had left my body and I was floating above it all, watching with an uncaring attachment. Basically my mind snapped – that’s it – no more thinking. I had been seconds away from my death and then I had caused the death of another. I reached inside and switched my head to the OFF position. I recalled a T-shirt I once saw that read, Don’t bother me, I can’t cope. That was me. I wished I was wearing it.
Mom and Dad seemed to understand, or maybe they were just patronising me. Either way, they spoke to me in calming tones and got me up onto Acorn. Acorn treated me nice too. He nuzzled up to me before I got on – maybe he wasn’t being nice, maybe he just wanted to check if I was the same guy. I sure didn’t feel like the same guy.
The Fili forest was dense and dark green. My parents rode on either side of me, stopping branches from swiping my face. I don’t know how long we travelled like this and I didn’t care. I was in La-la land – completely mindless. I have no memories of riding into the Fili village, all I remember was Mother taking me into a hut and putting me to bed. I slept and didn’t even dream.
I awoke the next morning with all of my wits intact. I guess that was a good thing but I couldn’t help remembering how nice not-thinking had been. That way I didn’t have to see the face of the Banshee I killed in my mind’s eye and I didn’t have to relive the sensation of my sword piercing his chest. I lay in bed wrestling with the memories. I had no choice, I said to myself. He was about to kill me. I didn’t want to do it. It wasn’t my fault. I had convinced my head that I had done no wrong, but my conscience would take time to heal and I knew it would always leave a scar.
Mom woke me up. She sat on the edge of my round bed in a round room and pushed the hair back across my forehead. It was like she had been doing it all of my life – I guess in both of our imaginations, she had. ‘Are you up for some breakfast?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I’m OK. Sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to scare you.’
She smiled and held out her hand. ‘Come.’
The reason I didn’t remember entering the Fili village is probably because I hadn’t seen it in the first place. The door of the cottage opened into what first appeared to be an empty wood. When the door closed behind me, I turned and couldn’t see a door. I couldn’t even find the cottage until I stopped and looked closely. The huts had been built in and among the trees. They were small and round with bark for outside walls. The trees had grown over them, providing roofs that almost made them invisible to a casual glance. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone walked straight through these woods without ever even noticing a hut, just a sensation that something was strange. As we walked I got the feeling that we were being watched, but saw no one.
Deirdre touched a tree and surprisingly a door opened in it. ‘You’ll get used to it,’ she said. ‘After a while you see everything and wonder how it fooled you in the first place.’
‘It’s not just camouflage, there is magic working here, too – isn’t there?’
‘Of course,’ she said.
Inside was a long table. Fergal, Araf, Essa, my father and a woman I didn’t recognise were already there, having breakfast.
Dad jumped up and put his arm on my shoulder. ‘How are you this morning?’
‘I’m fine.’
He looked me deep in the eyes, to see if I was telling the truth. I smiled at him. He laughed and gave me a hug.
‘What about you?’ I asked when he released me. ‘Last time we were together you had an arrow sticking out of your chest.’
‘Oh yes, I did, didn’t I?’ He waved his arms around. ‘I’m fine now. There is nothing like Fili nursing. The best medical magic in The Land.’
Araf coughed.
‘Except maybe Impwife magic,’ he said quickly, and winked at me.
‘What happened? Nieve was about ready to kill both of you.’
‘There is plenty of time for catching up,’ Mom said. ‘Sit down and have something to eat, and I want you to meet someone.’
My companions stared at me like I was a Martian. ‘I’m fine, guys,’ I said, ‘I just got a little freaked out yesterday.’
‘Conor,’ Mom said, ‘I would like to introduce you to Fand – queen of the Fili.’
I stood and bowed. ‘Your highness.’
She smiled. ‘Fand will do. We don’t have very much protocol in the Fililands.’
I sat. ‘You are Maeve’s daughter, are you not?’
‘I am, but we do not use her name here.’
‘Because of what she did?’
‘Yes.’
‘Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it,’ I said, remembering an old quote.