wire mesh to keep the flies out and the narrow room was perpetually in twilight as a result.
‘Hello, puss.’
Recognising her voice, Winston turned and came over to her with a plaintive meow, tail standing stiffly in the air. Natalie sat down on a packet of toilet rolls, set her glass on the floor beside her and stroked the old cat while he rubbed himself against her legs. She stuffed one of the sausage rolls into her mouth and offered him the other one. He sniffed it fastidiously before taking it delicately from her fingers and settling down to eat, purring to himself as he did so. Natalie took a mouthful of champagne and sat back, glad to get out of the babble of chatter for a brief while.
She looked round the larder, her mood still gloomy, as it had been for months now. Things had started out so well with David four years earlier. She had met him when she was at her lowest ebb, shortly after the accident that had taken both her parents. At the time she had convinced herself it was love, and had embarked upon an affair with him that had led quite naturally to their moving in together and then to their engagement. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, she found herself coming to the realisation that it probably hadn’t been so much true love as a deep need for support and company at what had been a desperately lonely time. Their life together had been very good at first, but doubts, serious doubts, had started to set in as the months and years went by. She saw now that he had changed since those early days and she was analytical enough to see that she, too, had changed. He had been right behind her when she had made the decision to give up teaching and go back to university to get her doctorate. Now, her studies no longer appeared to interest him. The fact that she had been increasingly busy with her thesis had impacted on their home life together, and his encouragement had dried up as a result. It had become increasingly clear to her that he would really prefer a wife who would look after him in the kitchen and the bedroom, rather than an intellectual equal.
And now? Yes, she now had her PhD after so much hard work, but she didn’t have a job yet. Could it be that she would end up like David’s mother, running an immaculate house for her successful husband, her role reduced to that of gracious hostess and producer of children to continue the line? Certainly, the more they had spoken about it, the clearer it had become that David’s family, if not David himself, saw it that way. And how did she see it? Well, she thought to herself, as she sipped her wine and watched the old cat, the one thing she knew for sure was that she wanted more out of life.
‘Sausage rolls! What on earth were they thinking of?’
At the sound of the voice, Natalie jumped, spilling champagne on her fingers. She turned towards the door, but the conversation was taking place out in the kitchen. She couldn’t see the owner of the voice, but there was no mistaking it.
‘Sausage rolls, of all things! I told them I wanted refined canapés, not the sort of thing you can find in any local pub.’ Natalie recognised Marjorie’s acid tones, mildly surprised that her future mother-in-law was admitting to being familiar with the inside of a pub.
‘The sushi and the goat’s cheese crostini were pretty good, but I quite agree with you, Mummy; sausage rolls, indeed!’
David’s big sister, Emily, was sounding more and more like her mother as the years went by. Natalie glanced down at the cat who was thoroughly enjoying his sausage roll and reflected that she, too, had enjoyed the one she had just eaten. Then, to her surprise, the topic of conversation on the other side of the pantry door changed to a subject much closer to home.
‘I tell you who would like the sausage rolls.’ Emily’s voice was contemptuous.
‘Yes, I daresay you’re right. By the way, I haven’t seen her for a while. Have you?’
‘The last time I saw her she was out in the garden glugging Daddy’s champagne.’
‘I do think she could have made a bit more of an effort. What on earth was she thinking of when she chose that frock she’s wearing?’
‘The price, Mummy, I would think. From a charity shop, I have no doubt.’
‘Or the supermarket.’ Marjorie sounded bitter. ‘Really, she could have tried a bit harder. After all, she knew Gordon Lightfoot was going to be here.’ Natalie listened as David’s mother went on to reel off a list of names of other notables from the legal profession and did her best to stifle a growing sense of anger. Along with the anger came the realisation that what she was hearing just confirmed what she had been thinking for months.
‘I really don’t know what David sees in her.’
‘Well, she is quite pretty.’ Marjorie even managed to make a compliment sound like an insult. ‘It’s just that she’s so…’ She paused for thought. ‘So unkempt. She just doesn’t make any effort at all. A bit of make-up, some nice clothes and she would really be quite good-looking.’
‘And a change of attitude’s long overdue.’
‘Of course it’s because she’s a student, I suppose. Ever since she’s been at college she’s been getting so scruffy and bohemian. And she’s far more interested in her studies than in David. Doesn’t she realise how important it is to him to have a fiancée who can support him and make the right impression? He’s got his career to think of, after all.’
‘She’s only studying history, after all, and it’s not as if she’s likely to do anything meaningful with it.’ Emily’s tone was dismissive and Natalie found herself gripping her glass so hard she was in danger of crushing it in her hand. She made a conscious effort to relax her grip, but it wasn’t easy. After three hard years doing a PhD in medieval history, she knew full well just how much work had been involved. She had lost count of the late nights, early starts and the interminable days she had spent in university libraries all over the UK and France. She had lost a stone in weight, developed dark rings under her eyes and ceased to have any kind of social life, with or without David. The PhD was done now, but she knew it would take her months to recover from the effort. She growled to herself as she listened to the conversation in the kitchen.
‘And it’s French history of all things, and ancient at that. Surely she could have tried to do something British.’ David’s mother’s voice dropped a little. ‘Of course, she’s only half British. I suppose that explains it. How on earth she thinks she can make a living with something like that I really don’t know.’
‘Of course it’s only a hobby really, Mummy. After all, she knows she can rely on David to support her and keep her.’
‘Poor David. He deserves so much better.’
There was the sound of movement in the kitchen as the caterers returned. From the jingling, it was pretty obvious a tray full of glasses was being set down on the table. Natalie heard the clicking of high heels retreating down the corridor as Marjorie and Emily left them to it. Natalie glanced down at the cat who had finished eating the meat out of the sausage roll and was licking his paws. She resisted the temptation to gulp down her champagne, and limited herself to taking a few small sips while she did her best to regain some sort of calm, while her every instinct was crying out for her to follow Marjorie and Emily into the living room and tear their hair out. The cat looked up and caught her eye.
‘Ever contemplated a double homicide, cat?’ Natalie kept her voice down to a whisper and the cat just rewarded her with a yawn. She sat there, sipping her wine, until the glass was empty, resisting the urge to scream or weep. She had realised months ago that subconsciously she had been seeking a surrogate family when she had hooked up with David. It had been some time into the relationship before she had been introduced to his parents and it hadn’t taken long before she had begun to realise that this was not going to happen. As people, she and they were too different and these hopes had been crumbling more and more as she got to know them better. Now she knew they were totally crushed. Of course, she had been coming ever closer to this realisation, but it was only now, hearing it from the horse’s mouth, that it finally sank in. She could expect nothing from them. She was on her own, totally on her own; except for David, even if that was by no means certain any longer. She knew that she had to find him and seek reassurance from him. In spite of their arguments and in