do plenty of fun things.”
“Like what?”
“Cooking dinner today. That was fun. And going out on roundup with you. I love that. And taking care of Lucy. What greater joy could I find? My whole life is fun.”
Every one of the things she mentioned had been for someone else. His hands curved around his glass as tension and guilt curled through him, just like they always did when it came to his baby sister and the sacrifices he had let her make. She needed more than cooking and cleaning for him and for Lucy.
“You can’t give everything to us, Cass,” he said quietly. “Save some part for yourself.”
She sniffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She did, and they both knew it. They’d had this very conversation many times before. Just like always, he was left frustrated, knowing nothing he said would make her budge.
He opted for silence instead, and they sat quietly, listening to the fire and the night and the echo of words unsaid.
She was the first to break the silence. “Do you ever wonder if they’re still together?” she said after several moments.
He peered at her over the rim of his glass. “If who are together?”
She made a frustrated sound. “Who do you think? Melanie and Slater.”
His wife and her fiancé, who had run off together the week before Cassie’s wedding. A whole host of emotions knifed through him. Betrayal. Guilt. Most of all sharp heartache for the sweet, deliriously happy girl his little sister had been before Melanie and that bastard Slater had shattered her life.
They rarely talked about that summer. About how they had both been shell-shocked for months, just going about the constant, grinding struggle to take care of the ranch and a tiny, helpless Lucy.
About how that love-struck young woman on the edge of a whole world full of possibilities had withdrawn from life, burying herself on the ranch to take care of her family.
“I don’t waste energy thinking about it,” he lied. “You shouldn’t, either.”
He didn’t mean to make it sound like an order, but it must have. Cassie flashed him an angry glare. “You can’t control everything, big brother, as much as you might like to. I’ll think about them if I want to think about them, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”
“Aw, Cass. Why torture yourself? It’ll be ten years this summer.”
She stared stonily ahead. “Get over it. Is that what you mean?”
Was it? Had he gotten over Melanie? Whatever love he might have once thought he felt for her had shriveled into something bitter and ugly long before she left him. But he wasn’t sure he could honestly say her desertion hadn’t affected him, hadn’t destroyed something vital and profound inside of him.
Maybe that was why he was so appalled to find himself kissing a city girl like Ellie Webster and for craving the taste of her mouth again so powerfully he couldn’t think around it.
He looked at his sister, at her pretty blue eyes and the brown hair she kept ruthlessly short now and the hands that were always busy cooking and cleaning in her brother’s house. He wanted so much more for her.
“You’ve got to let go, Cassie. You can’t spend the rest of your life poking and prodding at the part of you that son of a bitch hurt. If you keep messing at it, it will never be able to heal. Not completely.”
“I don’t poke and prod,” she snapped. “I hardly even think about Slater anymore. But I’m not like you, Matt. I’m sorry, but I can’t just shove away my feelings and act like they never existed.”
He drew in a breath at the sharp jab, and Cassie immediately lifted a hand to her mouth, her eyes horrified. “Oh, Matt. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I should never have brought them up. Let’s just drop it, okay?”
“Which brings us back to Wade Lowry. You need to go out more, Cass, meet more people. Give some other lucky guy a chance to steal you away from us.”
She snorted. “Oh, you’re a fine one to talk. When was the last time you went out on a date?”
She had him there. What would his sister say if she knew he’d stolen a kiss from the vet earlier in the barn? And that his body still churned and ached with need for her hours later? He took a sip of his drink, willing Ellie out of his mind once more.
Cassie suddenly sent him a sly look. “You know who would be really great for you? Ellie Webster.”
He sputtered and coughed on his drink. “What?”
“Seriously. She’s pretty, she’s smart, she’s funny. I really like her.”
So did he, entirely too much.
“I think the two of you would be perfect together,” Cassie said.
He refused to let his baser self think about exactly how perfect they might be together at least in one area of a relationship, judging by the way she had melted into his arms.
“Thanks for the romantic advice,” he said gruffly, “but I think I’ll stick to what I know. The ranch and the stock and Lucy. I don’t have time for anything else.”
She was quiet for a moment, then she grabbed his hand. “We’re a sorry pair, aren’t we? You’re the one who told me not to put my life on hold. If I go skiing with Wade Lowry tomorrow, will you at least think about taking Ellie out somewhere? Maybe to dinner in Jackson or something?”
“Sure,” he answered. “If you’ll go skiing with Wade and promise to have a good time, I’ll think about taking Doc Webster to dinner.”
But thinking about it was absolutely the only thing he would do about it.
* * *
“So I’m off. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Ellie glanced up from her computer and found SueAnn in the doorway bundled into her coat and hat with that big, slouchy bag that was roomy enough to hide a heifer slung over her shoulder.
She blinked, trying to force her eyes to focus. “Is it six already?”
“Quarter past. Aren’t you supposed to be heading out to the Diamond Harte pretty soon?”
“The carnival committee meeting doesn’t start until seven. I should still have a little more time before I have to leave. I’m taking advantage of the quiet without Dylan to try to finish as much as I can of this journal article.”
“She’s with Lucy again?”
“Where else?”
Dylan had begged to ride the school bus home with her friend again. And since Ellie knew she would be able to pick her up when she went out to the ranch later in the evening, she gave in.
“I’ve got to turn this in by the end of the week if I want to have it considered for the next issue, and I’m way behind.”
“I imagine you haven’t had much time these last few weeks for much of anything but your patients, have you?”
Ellie knew her grin could have lit up the whole town of Salt River. “Isn’t it something?”
“Amazing. We haven’t had a spare second around here since Thanksgiving.”
Christmas was only a few weeks away. The towns scattered throughout Star Valley gleamed and glittered. Everybody seemed to get into the spirit of the holiday—just about every ranch had some kind of decorations, from stars of Bethlehem on barn roofs to crèches in hay sheds to fir wreaths gracing barbed-wire fences. The other night she had even seen a tractor decorated with flashing lights.
With her heavy workload, Ellie hadn’t had much time to enjoy it. She hadn’t even gone