her fingers by pleating and unpleating her skirt, Emily felt her exasperation grow. “Certain things…happened in my past, that assured me public opinion meant very little, but that honesty meant a great deal.”
“Like what?”
When she didn’t answer, he said, “Okay, we’ll come back to that later.”
“No, we won’t.”
“Dammit, Em. I’d much rather you come off looking like an innocent out for a few kicks, than to have some jerk assume you’ve been around.”
Emily swallowed hard. Judd had evidently made some incorrect assumptions about her character, and it was up to her to explain the truth. “Judd, I don’t know why you persist in thinking I’m…I’m innocent. I believe I told you once that I’d been engaged. Well…”
She couldn’t look at him, her eyes were locked on her busy fingers. And then she heard him chuckle. Her gaze shot to his face, and she was treated to the most tender smile she’d ever seen.
“Honey, it wouldn’t matter if you’d been engaged twenty times. You’re still so damn innocent, you terrify me.”
Emily didn’t understand that statement, or the way he reached out and touched her cheek, then smoothed her hair behind her ear.
She felt disoriented, and much too warm. She wanted to lean into Judd, but she knew she had to settle things before she forgot what it was that she wanted settled. Once before she’d let her passionate nature guide her. That had been a huge error, and this was too important to be sidetracked by anything—including Judd’s heated effect on her.
“The thing is, Em, this whole deal will work out better if your reactions to Donner and his men are real. You can’t lie worth a damn, and I don’t think, if Donner got close again, you’d be able to hide your feelings from him. You could blow everything.”
She cleared her throat and spoke with more conviction than she actually felt. “You don’t know that for sure.”
His expression hardened, turning grim. “And I’m not willing to take the risk. Things could backfire real easy, and someone could get hurt.”
She understood his reasoning, but she couldn’t accept it. “This isn’t going to work, Judd. Not unless you’re willing to tell me everything.”
He stared at her, hard, then muttered a curse and looked away. “No, you’re right. It won’t work. Which is why I’ve come up with an alternate plan. I decided I’d just find this guy for you, but on my own. You can stay in your little palace and play it safe.”
“What?”
“You heard me. From here on, you’re out of it.”
Emily sputtered, then stiffened her spine. “You said I was ‘in,’ remember?”
“I’ve changed my mind.”
“Well, you can just unchange it, because I’m not going to be left out.”
“I refuse to risk your getting hurt, and your reaction today was proof positive you aren’t ready to mingle with the meaner side of life. Let’s face it, Em, you’re just a baby.”
“Oh, no, you don’t.” She propped her hands on her hips and glared at him. “You’re not going to pull me into an argument by slinging horrid insults at me. We had a deal and you’re the one who isn’t following the rules. Well, you can just stop it right now.”
He blinked at her in amazement. “I wasn’t insulting you, dammit!”
Emily could tell by his expression he hadn’t seen anything insulting in his attitude. But that only made the insult worse. She pursed her lips and tilted her head back so she could look down her nose at him. “I’m not entirely helpless, Judd. I can take care of myself.”
There was a minute curving of his lips before he shook his head and spoke in a gentle, but firm, tone. “I’m sorry, Em. My mind’s made up.”
He acted as if he hadn’t just dumped her, as if he hadn’t just let her down and destroyed all her plans. But it was even more than her plans now. It was Judd, and she cared about him. She took one step closer and poked him in the chest with her finger. “Okay, fine. You don’t want to help me, then I’ll find another way.”
Startled, he grabbed her finger and held on. “You already have a way. Me. I can do this, you know. I’m more than capable, and I damn sure don’t need you looking after me. It’ll be easier without you.”
That hurt, but she didn’t show it. She lifted her chin and met his intent gaze. “No. I won’t let you risk yourself for me, not while I sit around and do nothing.”
Judd bit his upper lip and his eyes narrowed. He suddenly looked…dangerous, and Emily shivered in expectation of what he might say. She knew it would be something outrageous, but she was prepared for the worst.
“So you’ll pay me a five-hundred-dollar bonus. No big deal.”
He had a very credible sneer. Emily frowned. She couldn’t believe he’d just said that. And she couldn’t believe he was really doing this only for the money. She couldn’t have been that wrong.
A deep breath didn’t help to relieve the sudden pain in her chest, or the tightness in her throat. She still sounded strained as she whispered, “Fine, if money’s the issue, I’ll pay you to forget you ever met me.” She waited for his reaction, and though Judd remained rigid, she noticed his hands were now curled into tight fists.
There’s a reaction for you, Emily. He doesn’t seem at all pleased by being bought off. She decided to push him, just to see what it would take to force him to drop his charade. “Five thousand dollars, Judd. But I don’t want you risking yourself. Take it or leave it.” Then she opened the door and waited to see if he would actually leave.
“Damn you, Emily.” The door slammed shut and she found herself pinned to the wall by his hard chest, his arms caging her in, his lips pressed to her hair. She could hear him panting, struggling for control of his temper.
Relief washed over her—and hot excitement. “Judd?”
He didn’t answer. He kissed her instead, and if the first kiss had been hungry, this one was ravenous. Emily moaned and wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight as his tongue pushed deep into her mouth. How she’d come to care so much about him so quickly, she didn’t know. Perhaps it was because she sensed the same emptiness in him that she’d often felt. When he’d told of his past, as different as it was from hers, she still saw a lot of similarities.
Emily knew she was being fanciful, but she couldn’t deny the way she felt. It seemed to her sometimes there were no real heroes left in the world, people willing to do what was right—just because it was the right thing to do.
But Judd was a hero, despite his chosen profession, despite his lack of manners and sometimes overbearing arrogance. A hero was a man who could do what needed to be done, when it was needed. And Judd was as capable as they came.
“Oh, Em.” His mouth touched her throat, her chin, then her lips again. “I have to stop.”
She tried to shake her head, since stopping was the last thing she wanted, but she couldn’t. His hands cupped her cheeks and he had her pressed flush against the wall, pinned from chest to knees, his erection hard and throbbing against her belly. It was glorious. She was well and truly trapped, and she loved it. “Judd…”
“No, honey.” He was still breathing hard, his mouth touching soft and warm against her flesh, planting small biting kisses that tingled and tickled and stole her breath. “Neither one of us is ready for this. Hell, you’ve got me so crazy, I don’t know what I’m doing. I need time to think. And so do you.”
Don’t beg, Emily. Don’t beg. “Judd…I—”
He touched her lips with his thumb, then his eyes dropped