Jason agreed.
Stephanie was so brilliant. He loved being around her. Love? Another strong word. This time purely used as a figure of speech. Love wasn’t in his scope of training.
“I’ll order the test. Anything else?”
Dr. Phillips’ phone vibrated.
He scowled, letting her know how he felt about the interruption.
She checked the display, then rose. “I can’t stay.”
Dr. Riser’s phone buzzed, too. He grimaced an apology as he glanced at his watch. “An appointment.”
At noon? Both of them?
Jason would bet his lunch they’d preplanned this mutiny so they wouldn’t have to skip another noon break.
Yes, he worked his team hard. Anyone who partnered with him needed to show unflagging dedication, and a missed meal on occasion was part of the package.
Riser and Phillips headed for the door.
Stephanie stood, too. But she didn’t make a move to leave. “Dr. Drake, could I speak privately with you for a moment?”
Dr. Drake? She only addressed him so formally in front of patients, or on occasion in bed.
“Of course.” He closed the door to the conference room.
So she was finally ready to forgive him for missing dinner the weekend before last. It was about time. She’d ignored him for two whole weeks. Though, to be fair, she’d been away for one of them for a directors’ conference.
“We both know how quickly rumors spread in this hospital. I need this to be kept confidential between you and me.”
Jason’s expectations crashed. Stephanie had been worried that their relationship might cause problems with their work. If she suggested they carry on covertly he would refuse. He wouldn’t be anyone’s dirty little secret.
“Stephanie, we’re two consenting adults. What goes on between the two of us—”
“This is strictly business, Dr. Drake.” A fleeting expression of something—sorrow?—crossed her eyes before she blinked it away. “We now have an open position in Diagnostics. I would like your opinion on several of our prospects before I contact them for discussion.”
She thought about the pulmonary doctor’s resignation, locked away in her desk drawer. Now, with Sheffield Memorial’s name on the verge of making the gossip rags and tabloids, was not a good time to be enticing new doctors into the hospital. Hopefully Jason’s involuntary sacrifice would put a stop to the talk.
But that was a problem for tomorrow.
“Absolutely.” Jason’s lips twisted into a cynical grimace. “Let’s eliminate the candidates that might claim to have sham appointments during consultation meetings first. We’ve already got two doctors like that.”
“Drs. Phillips and Riser’s fake pages were rather immature, weren’t they? I’ve talked to both of them about being firm and telling you they aren’t at their best when they work through lunch, but they’re intimidated by you.”
“Intimidated? Why?”
“You’re so intense.”
“I’m focused.”
“Yes, you are.” Too focused—to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. “No one can refute your dedication to medicine, Dr. Drake.”
He used his work as a shield, to keep everyone at a distance. While she had glimpsed the deep sensitivity Jason covered with sarcastic scowls and a cutting wit, she needed more than an occasional lapse in cynicism. She needed a man with a whole heart as well as an exceptional brain and outstanding body.
“You’re not intimidated by me.”
She laughed, but it came out bitter. “Remember who my father is. Dr. William Montclair is known the world over for his intensity of purpose. And my mother isn’t a slouch in that department, either.”
Jason waved away the mention of the formidable Dr. William Montclair and his spouse, Dr. Clarice Sheffield-Montclair.
“We’re good together, Stephanie.”
Yes, they were. She could smell his cologne, feel his body heat. His tone made her quiver to the core. Instinctively she felt herself leaning toward him.
She licked her lips.
His eyes followed her movement, like a cat ready to pounce. Intense didn’t begin to cover it.
She missed him so desperately, even if he was bad medicine. Being in a room alone with him was not a good thing for her. He was like an addiction. A quick high when they were wrapped arm-in-arm, followed by a debilitating low when he detached and became solitary again.
Which he’d done as soon as she’d tried to take their relationship to a deeper level.
“Jason, I’d prefer to keep things professional at the hospital.” Staying firm in her decision to stay apart took all her will-power—especially when he made no secret of the fact he wanted her.
That would end as soon as he found out about the baby.
“And impersonal outside the hospital. I got that from the phone message you left me. Did I say something to offend you?” He looked into her eyes as if he were trying to look into her head—or her heart. Without question, he had immense intensity.
“No, it wasn’t anything you said.”
While he’d certainly offended everyone else who’d ever walked through the hospital doors, he’d never offended her. He was egotistical, stubborn, overbearing and totally without tact, but she understood him. She could handle all his bad qualities, but she couldn’t handle his inability to open himself up to her, his inability to put her first at least on occasion.
“Is this about the missed dinner date? I explained that I needed to read through the lab results so I would know if I needed to order additional tests. Did I do something wrong?” he challenged, certain that another medically related reason would excuse him.
“Other than all those other missed dinner dates and all those refusals to accompany me to social functions? No, you did nothing wrong.” Nothing but be himself. But then he’d done nothing right—outside the bedroom.
The night he’d missed their dinner—the dinner during which she had planned to tell him about their baby—had been the breaking point. As she had scraped the congealed gourmet meal into the trash, blown out the candles and exchanged her negligee for her favorite oversized T-shirt and gym shorts, she’d known she couldn’t fool herself any longer.
Swathed in her flannel robe, she’d settled in on the couch, hoping. Yet she’d known he wouldn’t show. This was how her baby’s life would be if she married him. Always waiting for Daddy to come home. She’d lived it with both her parents, feeling guilty all the while for resenting the time they spent with sick children while she’d been well and healthy. And alone.
I’ll not do that to you, little one. I’ll be here for you, any time you need me.
She wasn’t quite sure how she would accomplish that yet, but there had to be a way to balance home life with hospital life.
She took a long look at Jason. He just wasn’t the home-and-hearth type. Anything that couldn’t be analyzed under a microscope had no place in his life.
Jason raised a sardonic eyebrow. “I really see no reason for you to kick me out of your personal life just because I turned down a gala or two, choosing the art of medicine over the act of socializing. Faux fawning is not what I majored in during med school.”
He hid his hurt behind his bristling posture.
She had thought they were beyond that. That