“So, what do you do back in Kansas City?” He figured the least he could do was offer a little small talk in exchange for the wonderful breakfast.
“You mean between the care and feeding of the monster child?” Her eyes twinkled with good humor. “I’m a nurse’s aide.”
A nurse’s aide. He shook his head ruefully, remembering how she’d knelt on his hand, then kneed him in the ribs while he’d been lying helpless on the beach. He pitied the patients she worked with.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she exclaimed, her cheeks flushing a pretty pink. “And I’m very good at what I do.” She raised her chin a notch and eyed him defiantly.
“I’ll say one thing, you’re a terrific cook.” He shoved his plate away with a sigh of contentment.
“Thank you. I enjoy cooking. I don’t do it very often just for me and Nathaniel.”
“So, how long you been divorced?” Jack asked as she wiped Nathaniel’s mouth with a napkin.
“I’m not divorced.”
“Oh, a widow…I’m sorry.”
Her cheeks were becoming a darker shade of pink. “I’ve never been married.”
“Oh, I just assumed…” Jack was embarrassed by his assumption.
“It’s a natural assumption.” She smiled, that sunny smile that shot a wave of warmth through Jack. “I’m not particularly proud of the fact that I’m not married. But I’m not ashamed, either. I got pregnant. I assumed my boyfriend would be thrilled, and instead, the thought of fatherhood sent him running for the woods.”
There was no trace of bitterness in her voice, but bitterness swept through Jack with a vengeance. There was nothing he hated more than men who ran from their responsibilities as parents…unless it was women who kept men from shouldering those responsibilities and relishing the joys of fatherhood.
He studiously shoved away thoughts of a little boy not much older than Nathaniel…a little boy with dark brown hair and big brown eyes…a little boy Jack hadn’t seen for five long years. He couldn’t afford to think about him, couldn’t stand the pain such thoughts brought with them.
Instead he focused his attention once again on Marissa. Smiling Marissa with the dancing freckles. “So, I suppose your experience with your boyfriend has made you hate all men. Isn’t that the way it usually goes?”
She laughed, a musical chime that awakened desire in him. “I don’t know how it usually goes, but no, I haven’t become a man hater.” She untied the sash that held Nathaniel, kissed his forehead and sat him on the floor.
When she once again gazed at Jack, her eyes were the lush green of spring, the promise of summer warmth and verdant meadows. “I’m an eternal optimist and I believe in true love and promises kept and vows of forever. All I’m waiting for is to find the right man.”
Jack smiled cynically. He believed in none of those things. Not anymore. “And what are you going to do if you don’t find Mr. Right?”
She stood and started clearing off the dishes from the table. “But I will find him. Or he’ll find me. And we’ll know in an instant of our gazes meeting, our fingers touching, that we’re meant for each other.” The color of her eyes deepened and a wistful smile lifted the corners of her mouth.
Jack snorted derisively, uncomfortable with how utterly appealing she looked. “You don’t really believe that bull, do you?”
“Oh, but I do,” she replied. She placed the dishes in the sink, then turned back to face him. “And what does Jack Coffey believe in?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Jack was aware of the hollowness of his voice and suddenly he was overwhelmed with weariness. He pushed his chair away from the table, grabbed his crutches and stood. “I’m going to lie down. You and Nate can let yourselves out. Thanks for the breakfast.”
He started to take a step toward the living room, but was halted by Nathaniel, who launched himself at Jack and wrapped his chubby arms around his leg cast. Marissa had her back to them, filling the sink with soapy water.
Jack looked down at the little boy who momentarily held him captive. “Let go, kid.”
Nathaniel grinned, displaying pearly white teeth, but didn’t release his hold. Although he wasn’t causing Jack any additional pain, Jack was afraid to try to take a step with Nathaniel clinging to him like a burr on a dog.
“Let go,” Jack repeated sternly, and scowled down at the little boy. Nathaniel laughed and drew his fuzzy light brows together in a mock imitation of Jack.
Marissa turned from the sink and gasped. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” She hurried to them. “Nathaniel, sweetie, let go of Mr. Coffey.”
“No.” Nathaniel smiled at his mother and pushed his little body tight against the cast. “Daddy,” he said, and patted the plaster.
The word, uttered in sweet baby talk, sent a spiraling shaft of pain through Jack. He fought the pain and instead summoned the anger that had always shielded him. “Would you get this kid off me?”
“I’m trying,” Marissa said with an embarrassed laugh. She was attempting to peel his arms away from Jack’s cast, but Nathaniel was having none of it. He gazed up at Jack with that wide, toothy grin.
“Maybe if you’d try to pick him up,” Marissa finally said.
“Up,” Nathaniel said, as if agreeing with his mother.
Jack didn’t want to pick him up. He didn’t want to feel the little boy’s snuggly warmth, didn’t want to smell that innocent sweetness of childhood. But he also didn’t want to spend the rest of his natural life trapped in the kitchen in the clutches of a two-year-old.
With a deep sigh, Jack bent and grabbed the boy, wincing as he tried to use his broken fingers. Nathaniel came willingly into his arms, instantly releasing his hold around Jack’s cast and replacing it with a stranglehold around his neck.
Jack tried not to feel, not wanting to experience any of the sensations that came with holding a small child. But it was impossible not to smell the baby scent that wafted from Nathaniel, impossible not to be warmed by the chubby body so close to his heart.
“Take him,” Jack demanded of Marissa. “Take him and go.”
“But the dishes…” Marissa protested as she worked to take the wailing Nathaniel from him. Marissa stood so close to Jack he could once again smell the sweet scent of her. If he wanted, he could lean forward and kiss her freckles. If he wanted, he could capture her luscious mouth with his. But of course, that was the last thing he wanted.
“Look, you’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty. I’ll manage the rest of the cleanup. Just go.” He wanted her gone. He especially wanted the kid gone. Jack had no room in his life for do-gooders with sweet smiles and illusory idealism.
Something about Marissa made him think of deep kisses and warm flesh. Something about Marissa and her child made him recall old hopes, half-remembered dreams.
“You’ll be all right?” She raised her voice to be heard over Nathaniel’s cries of displeasure.
“I’ll be fine,” Jack assured her. “I’m going to take a nice long nap and I’ll call Maria and hire her back. Trust me. I’ll be okay.”
She picked up her purse and fished her car keys out of the bottom. She walked to the front door, then turned back to him. “I’m staying at the Mason Bridge Motel, if you need anything. Please don’t hesitate to call if there’s anything I can do to make things easier for you.”
He nodded. The easiest thing she could do for him was to disappear from his life. “Goodbye, Marissa. Have a nice life.”
The moment she was gone, Jack was able to breathe easier.