thanked Rose, an older woman who was fast becoming a friend as well as an occasional employee, took her purse from the drawer and hurried out. She’d been able to park less than a block away that morning, and she took a back route up the hill to Lynnwood.
Melissa Stuart came out to the reception area the moment Suzanne’s arrival was announced. Perhaps in her early fifties, she was a plump, attractive woman who was comfortable letting gray creep into her dark, bobbed hair. She had a nice smile that immediately set Suzanne at ease.
“How nice to meet you.” Melissa extended her hand. “Have you talked to Rebecca? How is she?”
They shook hands.
“Really good,” Suzanne said. “She just told me she and Gary are planning a wedding right after the holidays.”
“Not exactly a shock. They didn’t waste any time, did they?” She turned. “Let’s go on back to my office.”
Following her, Suzanne agreed, “They were in love within days of meeting.”
Her office was simple, decorated with children’s artwork on white walls. Only one manila file folder lay atop her desk.
Sitting, Suzanne couldn’t take her gaze from the folder.
Seating herself behind the desk, the caseworker said, “Let me tell you about Sophia and Jack.”
The names alone made them more real. Suzanne leaned forward.
“As I told you on the phone, Jack is seven and Sophia ten. Nearly eleven. She’s in fifth grade, he’s in second. Sophia is very bright and did quite well in school until this past year, when she’s done some acting out. Jack is good at math but is having trouble with reading. His most recent teacher isn’t sure whether he has a reading disability or whether, once again, this past year has been so difficult that he can’t concentrate.”
“This past year?”
“Their mother died. She had MS and received poor or no health care because she didn’t have insurance. She’d been raising the kids on her own, and once she could no longer work they moved between shelters and motel rooms at the kind of place that rents by the week. The past couple of years were disruptive for the children. As a result, they’re very mature in some ways. After all, they had to care for her. I gather that Sophia even did the grocery shopping toward the end. In other ways, they’re lost in a normal school or home situation. They’ve not been able to have friends the way other kids do. They had no home to invite other children to play at, no parent to pick them up at anyone else’s home. They changed schools five times in the last two years.”
“Oh, dear,” seemed inadequate, but it was the only thing she could think of to say.
“Indeed,” Ms. Stuart agreed. “Sophia had to call for an ambulance when she got home from school and found her mother dying.”
“How long ago was that?”
“In early September. Unfortunately, that meant yet another change in schools when they went to a foster home. In late October, we had to move them to a second foster home.”
“Their father?”
“Hasn’t seen them since Jack was a baby. He’s been moving regularly to avoid having to pay child support. I understand that, when told his ex-wife had died, he said, ‘You don’t expect me to take the kids, do you?’”
Rage for children she had yet to meet tightened Suzanne’s throat. “How horrible.”
“He gladly relinquished his parental rights. At least the children were quickly freed for adoption. So often they’re stuck in the foster-care system for years.”
Suzanne’s brother had lived in a succession of foster homes for nearly two years before he’d been adopted. She nodded.
“Their foster mother says Sophia is fiercely protective of her little brother but also displaying some generalized anger. He’s reverted to some behaviors typical of much younger children, including bed-wetting.”
No, these children wouldn’t be easy. Suzanne let go once and for all of her vision of that perfect little girl who leaned so trustingly against her and who giggled with uncomplicated joy.
“Naturally,” the caseworker continued, “it’s important that they stay together.”
“Of course!”
At least Suzanne’s sister and brother had been young, able to forget each other and her. Only she had carried the memory of them through the years.
“I know these two may not be at all what you had in mind….”
“As I told Rebecca, I didn’t have any particular ideal. Somehow, the idea of shopping for a child with a wish list strikes me as repugnant.”
“Good for you.” Ms. Stuart’s smile was warm and approving.
“My parents died when I was six.”
“I know. I have to admit, that’s one reason I thought you might be just right for these particular children.” She lifted a hand, hesitated with it over the file folder. “Would you like to see their pictures?”
Suddenly unable to breath, Suzanne could only nod.
Opening the file, the caseworker removed two five-by-seven school photos and laid them on the desk, facing Suzanne.
She took one look at the two faces, both so hopeful, so wary, and felt a painful squeeze in her chest she was astonished to recognize as the first symptom of falling in love.
Without a moment’s hesitation, she asked, “When can I meet them?”
CHAPTER TWO
THE CASEWORKER HAD PREPARED the kids for Suzanne’s visit. Younger children could be fooled into thinking the visitor was a friend of the foster mom’s, or another social worker. Kids the ages of Sophia and Jack would see through the lie and feel betrayed.
Melissa had arranged for this visit only two days after their initial meeting, scheduling it right after the children got home from school. Suzanne was once again depending on Rose.
Now, parking in front of the shabby rambler and setting the emergency brake, Melissa said, “I’ve introduced two other sets of potential adoptive parents to Sophia and Jack. In both cases, they felt the fit wasn’t right.”
“Why?”
“I believe it’s Sophia. She’s almost eleven, and, um…” The caseworker hesitated. “Well, she’s precocious.”
Puzzled, Suzanne said, “You did mention that she’s mature beyond her years.”
“Yes, but what I’m trying to tell you is that she’s also ahead of most girls her age physically.”
“Physically?” For a moment, Suzanne didn’t get it. Then understanding dawned. “Oh. You mean, she’s getting breasts.”
“Yes, but it’s more than that. Part of the trouble is her choice of clothing. She looks like a thirteen-year-old who’s pretending she’s sixteen.”
“Oh,” Suzanne said again. She frowned. “You mean, the two couples were okay with a ten-year-old who looked like a little girl, but not one who’s essentially a teenager?”
“Exactly.”
She wanted to say that was lousy, but she remembered the few parameters she’d given Rebecca originally. She’d wanted a child who would come to think of her as a mother, not a teenager who’d be gone in no time. An almost-eleven-year-old who looked older… No, Sophia definitely wasn’t what Suzanne had had in mind, either.
But then, from the beginning she’d vowed to be open-minded, to take a child who needed her. It sounded like these two did.
She nodded, and the two women got out of the car, walking in silence up the driveway.
On