I’m a single mum. I’m not really in the market for a relationship.’
‘Seeing me doesn’t have to involve your child,’ he said softly. ‘Do you have a boy or a girl?’
‘A boy.’ Guilt at turning George down, when he was being so sweet, nudged her into adding his name. ‘Ethan.’
‘That’s a nice name,’ George said. ‘How old is he?’
‘Five.’
‘So he’s at school. Well, you and I are simply having lunch together and, right now, Ethan doesn’t need to know anything about me. And he definitely doesn’t need to worry that I’m trying to push his dad out of the picture.’
Serena blew out a breath. It warmed her that George was clearly thinking of her son’s needs, but she couldn’t let him labour under that misconception about Jason. ‘Ethan’s dad isn’t actually in the picture.’
George said nothing, just waited.
She gave in and told him the rest of it. ‘Jason couldn’t cope with being a dad. Especially as Ethan was a colicky baby. He left us when Ethan was six weeks old. I gave him his engagement ring back, and he hasn’t seen Ethan or me since.’
‘That’s tough on you.’
In some respects, she hated that Ethan was missing out on a father’s love. He didn’t have a dad to play football with him in the park or teach him to ride his bike or do any of the mad, exciting things that dads did with their children. But he had a grandfather who was more than willing to do all those things, and a mother and a grandmother who loved him to bits and were there to kiss scraped knees better and give him a hug when he needed one. So they didn’t need pity. She and Ethan were doing just fine. ‘I don’t regret Ethan for a minute. He’s the light of my life.’
‘And he’s lucky to have a mother who loves him as much as you obviously do.’
That sounded personal. Then she remembered what she’d read in the paper: that George’s mother had walked out on him when he wasn’t much older than Ethan was now. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad stuff for you … About your mum, I mean.’
‘You haven’t. I grew up with a mother who loved me. Just because Frances isn’t my biological mother, it doesn’t make her any the less my mother.’ He shrugged. ‘She’s the one who was always there when I had a bad day at school or a nightmare at three in the morning. She’s the one who listened to me and then made everything all right again with a hug.’
Just as Serena did for Ethan, and she hated it when her son came home in tears, all upset and angry because someone had been unkind to him in the playground. The idea of George as that same kind of vulnerable little boy needing a hug brought tears to her eyes. ‘Sorry. Now I’m being truly wet.’
‘Not at all. But today was meant to be about having fun—and right now I think things are getting a bit heavy for both of us, so we need to take a deep breath and change direction.’ He took her hand, drew it to his mouth and pressed a kiss into her palm before folding his fingers over it.
The cherishing gesture made the lump in her throat even bigger.
‘Don’t apologise,’ he said.
‘How did you know I was going to apologise?’ she asked, feeling the colour flood into her face.
‘As you’ve apologised three times already in the last five minutes, let’s call it an educated guess,’ he said dryly. ‘We need to set some ground rules. Starting with no apologies being necessary, OK? We’re still getting to know each other. We’re bound to find the odd sore spot while we’re talking. It won’t be a deliberate attempt to hurt each other.’
‘OK.’ She looked straight at him. ‘What are the other ground rules?’
‘You’re not in the market for a relationship. That’s fine, because neither am I.’
‘Don’t you have to … well, settle down and marry someone suitable?’
‘To keep the title going, you mean?’
‘Yes.’
That was the big question. The one he was trying not to think about. The crash had left him with some less visible injuries; and, given the results of the test he’d had last week, he’d made very little progress in healing. It was looking more and more likely that he wouldn’t be able to provide his family with an heir. Which meant that the whole issue of finding a suitable bride and settling down was something he could push to the back of his mind for a bit longer.
He shrugged. ‘Hopefully Dad will live until he’s a hundred so it won’t be an immediate issue.’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘I’m not looking for forever, Serena,’ he said quietly. ‘Not right now. I’m just enjoying the present.’
‘Feeling lucky to be alive?’
That was exactly how he was feeling; and he appreciated the fact that she understood that. ‘Obviously it’s not the first time I’ve ever had an accident. There’s always a risk when you do the more physically demanding sports. But it’s the first time I’ve been in such a serious crash. And it’s the first time I’ve been banged up for weeks and weeks and weeks. The first time I’ve had to rely on other people so much.’ And he’d hated every second of it.
‘And it gave you too much time to think?’
‘Way too much time.’ And he didn’t want to go into those thoughts. They were too dark, too much, and he’d rather just ignore them and enjoy the sunlight. Maybe he was a coward, locking everything away in a box in his head marked ‘Do not open'—but what was the point in going over and over things he couldn’t fix? He was caught between a rock and a hard place. Women either saw him in terms of his title—and no way was he settling for someone like his mother—or, like Rebecca, they saw him for himself but didn’t feel they could fit into his world.
‘Right now, I need time out. Some fun. I think you do, too. So you and me—this is all about having a good time. No pressure, no seriousness, and it’s most definitely nobody else’s business. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I only date one person at a time. So any pictures you see in the papers of me with my arm round someone will have been manipulated by the editors purely to sell copies of their gossip rags. So do you think you can stop panicking now and relax with me?’
It was easy for him to say, Serena thought. She hadn’t dated in years, she didn’t have a clue what she was doing, and George … She had a nasty feeling that George could really break her heart if she let him close. OK, so he’d been up front about this thing between them being just fun. But that was from his point of view. If he could make her that dizzy with a single kiss, almost a week ago, what would happen if she spent more time with him? What would happen today? What if he kissed her again?
As if he guessed at her fears, he said softly, ‘I’m not going to pounce on you, Serena. I’m not expecting you to have sex with me in the middle of the park. Today’s about getting to know each other a bit more, having a bit of fun. I get the feeling that you don’t get a lot of time for that.’
‘That’s your theory about me?’ She grimaced. ‘Everybody seems to be saying that to me, this past week,’ she said ruefully. ‘I must be coming across as the most humourless person in the world.’
‘No. You come across as very serious and professional, but you also have a twinkle in your eye and during our appointments you gave as good as you got, teasing me back. That’s what intrigues me. You want to know my real theory about you?’
‘Yes.’ She really did.
‘I think there’s a woman inside you who knows how to have fun, but you’re keeping her locked up. And I’d like to know what would make you let her out.’
‘As I said.’ She sighed. ‘Humourless.’
‘No,