Forget it, she told herself firmly. Ignore the man, listen to the words.
“Then you probably know that my company is in charge of the construction. It’s a huge project, involving thousands of man-hours, not to mention dozens of subcontractors. I’d been working twelve, fourteen-hour days. Then the funding got stalled.”
Kelly nodded. For a time it seemed that the new wing wasn’t going to open as planned but Ryan Malone, Tanner’s brother, had pulled off a miracle.
“Now we’re playing catch-up,” Tanner continued. “I rarely see my house. We’re going to make the September first deadline for the dedication, but it’s going to be tight. So I don’t have time for a child in my life. Certainly not a baby.”
Kelly leaned back against the chair and worked hard to keep her face impassive. So he hadn’t been asking about the child at all, she thought grimly. He only wanted to talk to her so that he could explain his case to someone—anyone. He wanted to make excuses. She waited for the anger to return, but it was gone—transformed into a sadness she wasn’t sure she could explain.
There were so many hopeful couples wanting to adopt infants. Baby Ames would be placed with a loving family. She might grow up with every advantage. It was probably best for everyone. Kelly drew in a breath. If only she could let this go. Why was this one child getting to her?
“I can’t do it,” Tanner said.
“Mr. Malone, you don’t have to explain this to me, and frankly I’m not interested in your reasons for giving up your child for adoption.”
“But that’s my point,” he said. “I can’t do it. I can’t give him up.” He pulled a thick sheath of papers from his back pocket and dropped them on the desk. “Lucy and I talked about this and we both agreed it was the best thing. She’s got a job waiting for her in L.A. and I’ve got a busy life here. Adoption made sense.”
Kelly picked up the sheets and flipped through them. Lucy had carefully signed away all her rights to the child, but the space for Tanner’s signature was blank.
“What do you think?” he asked.
She glanced up and saw that Tanner had braced his hands on the back of one of the chairs and leaned toward her. His thick, dark hair fell over his forehead. He wasn’t the usual kind of man who populated her day. Most of them were other doctors or husbands of patients. She saw more suits than jeans and workshirts. Tanner might own Malone Construction but he obviously didn’t mind getting his hands dirty. She could see scars on his fingers, and there were thick muscles bulging in his upper arms and chest. She nearly matched him in height, but he had to outweigh her by forty pounds, all of them muscle.
“What do I think about what?” she asked.
“What should I do? Should I sign the papers?”
“I can’t answer that for you. We’re talking about a child, Mr. Malone. This isn’t a decision to be made lightly. Your daughter’s future is at stake.”
His eyes widened and a grin split his face. If she’d thought he was good-looking before, he was amazingly handsome now. That smile could cause a woman to stumble at fifty paces, she thought refusing to soften toward him.
“A girl!” He sank into the chair, then rubbed his eyes. “Damn. Like I know anything about women.”
“You know enough to get one of them pregnant.” Kelly regretted the words as soon as they passed her lips. She sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”
“Don’t apologize. You’ve got a point.” He leaned forward. “Is she okay? Ten fingers and toes?”
Kelly smiled. “She’s perfect. A real beauty. Her Apgar score was a nine at one minute and a ten at five minutes.” When Tanner looked blank, Kelly explained. “We check newborns for several characteristics right after birth. Their heart rate, whether they are crying, moving around, that sort of thing. Your daughter scored very high. There’s every indication that she’s healthy and normal.”
“A girl,” he said, his voice filled with awe. “Jeez. I feel like that changes everything, but I’m not sure it does.” He looked at her. “Tell me that the adoption is the best thing. Tell me that I have no business trying to raise a kid on my own. When would I find the time? Tell me I don’t know the first thing about babies or children.”
“No one can make that decision but you, Mr. Malone.”
Tanner nodded. He’d been hoping for a little guidance from Lucy’s doctor, but Kelly Hall wasn’t going to be much help there. Based on the look she’d given him when he’d first approached her, she wasn’t very pleased with him at all. He wondered if her anger was at him specifically or men in general. Or maybe she didn’t like men who welched on their commitments and responsibilities. Could he blame her for that?
“I want to see her,” he said. “My daughter, I mean, not Lucy. If I haven’t signed the papers, can I do that?”
Some of the tension left Kelly’s face. Her full lips curved up in a sweet smile. “I can do better than that, Mr. Malone. I can let you hold her.”
“This isn’t a good idea,” Tanner said ten minutes later as Kelly started to put a tiny wrapped bundle into his arms. “I don’t do the baby thing. I sort of ignored my nieces and nephew until they got past the breakable stage.”
“She’s tougher than she looks,” Kelly promised, even though he knew she was lying. “Just relax. Bend your arm so she’s completely supported and her head can rest in the crook of your elbow.”
The baby was red and kind of squished looking. He couldn’t see any part of her except for her face. Even her head was covered with a little pink cap. She was too tiny not to scare the pants off him. And when Kelly placed her in his arms, she seemed to weigh nothing at all.
“Oh, God.” He placed his free hand against her side to keep her from slipping and stayed completely still. “She’s about the size of a football.”
“I’ll have to take your word on that.”
He glanced up and saw that Kelly was still smiling at him. No doubt she was amused by his stiffness, but he’d never held a newborn before.
“Now what?” he asked.
“Say hello, or anything else that comes to mind. She’s your child, Mr. Malone. What would you like to do?”
Give her back, he thought, but he didn’t say that. “Call me Tanner.”
Kelly chuckled. “Most fathers prefer Daddy.”
He glanced at her. “I was talking to you. You keep saying Mr. Malone. I’m Tanner. I’d shake hands, but they’re tied up at the moment.”
“I understand.” She pointed to the baby. “It’s okay to move around if you’d like.”
He shook his head, too scared to do anything but stand there holding his daughter. Feelings swelled up inside of him, emotions that he could barely identify. There was pride and fear, but so much more. A sense of having been part of a miracle. Was this tiny creature really flesh of his flesh? Had he had some small part in creating her?
Kelly seemed to understand his confusion. She patted his arm, then stepped back to give him time alone.
Tanner took a tentative step, then another. His daughter didn’t wake up. He risked a tiny rocking motion. When she stirred, he froze.
Against his arm he felt small movements. His daughter puckered her mouth, then opened her eyes and stared up at him.
She had blue eyes…Malone blue. He remembered reading somewhere that newborns couldn’t see all that well, but at that moment it seemed to him that his baby could see into his soul.
Tanner Malone had never been a believer in love at first sight, nor had he ever experienced anything even remotely close to it. But as he stared