is exactly the point,” she snapped. Then relented with a sigh. “Please, let’s not do this. Is flying out barely forty-eight hours after I got back an ideal situation? Not at all. I know it. Paul knows it. And it actually goes against protocol. But emergencies happen and this is what I do. I’m the best suited to go. And none of us wants to be sitting here in six months, looking at a worldwide Ebola epidemic because the CDC didn’t send in the right people.”
She bent down, picked up her shoes. “Now, if you could take me home, I would greatly appreciate it.”
For long seconds Lucas didn’t answer and she was just beginning to wonder if she was going to have to catch a cab when he said, “Come on. Let’s go.”
He started toward the exit without waiting for her—which was a totally un-Lucas thing to do. It illustrated just how angry and frustrated he was with her. Which bothered her, but it wasn’t like there was anything she could do about it. Frankly, she had other, more pressing things to worry about.
They walked back up the hill without ever finding the swings, and the trip up the large grassy knoll was a lot less fun than the one down had been. Especially with Lucas grim faced and angry beside her. She wanted to call him on it. To ask him why he was getting himself so worked up. But that strange and powerful kiss had made her shy with him, had turned the easy camaraderie they’d always shared into something stiff and awkward.
As they walked, Kara waited for him to say something to break the silence. But he didn’t say a word. Not as they hiked the hill, not as they climbed the fence—though this time he gave her a boost—and not as they walked down the nearly empty streets of downtown.
It was sixty degrees out and she was still wearing his jacket, but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this cold.
By the time Lucas paid the valet and held the car door open for her—all without saying a word—she was fuming. And more hurt than she wanted to admit.
This was why she never opened herself up to people, she seethed. Why she never let them in. Because the first time you did, the first time you started to take for granted the fact that they would always be there for you, you did something they didn’t like and they pulled away. Locked you out.
It had happened her entire life. When her mom would get angry she would shut down, withholding her affection until Kara fell into line. And after her mom died and she’d been forced to return to her dad’s house during college vacations, she’d learned that her father’s love was only as deep as her latest accomplishment. Why she’d expected better from Lucas, she didn’t know.
Because he was her friend, a voice whispered in the back of her head. Because he’d always been there for her. But now, the second she’d broken the unwritten rules that governed their relationship—she’d kissed him and cried all over him in one night—he was pulling back. Getting angry the moment she had the nerve to do something he didn’t like.
The worst part was that it hurt. A lot. Because she hadn’t been expecting it. Because she’d broken her own rules over the years and had learned to trust Lucas implicitly. And yet here she was, here they were, right back where a part of her had always known they’d end up.
Once in front of her house, she barely waited for him to stop the car before she was opening the door and lunging for her front porch. “Thanks,” she called over her shoulder. “I’ll…call you when I get back.”
She just needed to get inside. If she made it inside her front door without letting him see how hurt she was, everything would be fine. She had a lot to do and very little time to do it in. Once he was gone, she wouldn’t even have time to think about him.
But she’d barely opened the door when he caught up with her. “What the hell is this?”
Her anger got the better of her. “Oh, so you do talk,” she said snidely.
His teeth ground together, his eyes shooting sparks of rage straight through her. She gave as good as she got, then muttered through her own clenched jaw, “I think it’s time for you to go.”
“Yeah, because that’s really going to happen.”
“Lucas—”
“Don’t start, Kara. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to talk about this. And if you still decide to go, you’ll need a ride to the CDC.”
“Still decide to go? I am going, and I can get myself to work just fine, thank you. I’ve been doing it for the last ten years of my life without any problems.”
“Damn it, Kara. You don’t always have to be so independent. Can’t you see that I’m worried about you?”
Of course he was. St. Lucas, worried about everyone. She hurt a little inside hearing the words. Not because she was upset that he cared, but because everything had changed between them in the space of one evening.
She never should have cried. For seventeen years their friendship had been based on the fact that she didn’t need him. Lucas didn’t mind being needed—by his mother, his sister, his girlfriends, his patients. He thrived on it, really. But at the same time, her independence helped him put distance between himself and the demanding women in his life.
There’d never been any need for distance between Kara and Lucas—at least not before tonight. And she was smart enough to know that it wasn’t the kiss—it was what had come before it. Now, here he was, feeling like he had a right to tell her what to do. Somehow she’d become just another woman who needed him to save her.
“Look,” she finally told him as she stepped into the house. “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t need it.”
He followed her in. “You’re not thinking clearly—”
She whirled on him, got in his face. “Don’t tell me how I’m thinking. I was upset earlier. That doesn’t make me less competent. I don’t need you to save me, Lucas.”
“Is that what you think I want to do? Save you?”
“It sure looks that way to me.”
“Well, then, you don’t know a damn thing, do you?”
CHAPTER FIVE
THEIRANGRYWORDSECHOED in Kara’s foyer, bouncing off the walls and making him want to tear his hair out. What had gotten into her? One minute he was trying to help her deal with the fact that her job was a nightmare and the next minute she was kissing him. And the minute after that she was accepting an assignment to head right back into a hot zone. And not just any hot zone—no, not for Kara. She was heading straight into Ebola hell and wouldn’t even acknowledge that it was a bad idea. He just wanted her to admit—
What? he asked himself angrily. What exactly did he want from Kara? For her to break down again and admit that the idea of going to Eritrea scared the hell out of her? God knows, it scared the shit out of him. Normally she seemed so indestructible, but listening to her heartache, holding her while she cried…it had gotten to him. Really gotten to him, in a way few things did anymore. She seemed so much more vulnerable now than she ever had before.
Add in that bizarre, mind-blowing kiss they’d just shared and he couldn’t quite get his mind around any of this.
If someone had told him three hours ago that they’d be here, nose to nose, both of them spoiling for a fight, he would have thought that person was insane. Not that he and Kara never fought—of course they did. She had a redhead’s temper and he was as stubborn as they came. But none of their previous fights had this bruised quality, this resentment simmering right below the surface.
And he might not know much about what the hell was going on, but he knew this. He didn’t want Kara to head out with things like this between them. Who knew how long it would be before he’d get the chance to see her again?
Blowing out a huge breath, he bit the bullet and lied to her for the first time in all the years he’d known her. “I’m