up to Sally’s death.
It had been a mistake. A mistake he’d undo in a heartbeat if given the chance.
But there would be no more chances. He couldn’t rewind time no matter how much he wished he could. Instead, he had to find a way to live with the guilt of choosing his job over his dying wife over and over again. At the time it had made such sense. Work was how he coped. The more he worked, the less time he had to think, and to feel.
But it had been wrong. For Sally. For Seth. And for him.
No. Mark wasn’t going to let Emily make the same mistakes. Somehow, some way, he was going to help her realize that by facing her loved one’s illness head-on, she’d be saving herself the added torture of guilt at the end.
Determined to help, he reeled in the rest of his line and made his way across the rocks. Once he had Seth settled in bed for the night, he could go about putting together a packet of information for Emily. Maybe with more information, she wouldn’t feel the need for denial.
And maybe, just maybe, helping Emily would enable him to shed some of his own insomnia-inducing guilt.
He stepped off the last rock and onto the sand and looked toward the castle he’d left Seth to finish while he fished. But instead of finding his son elbow-deep in sand, he spotted him standing beside a kayak and a petite blonde woman.
Mark quickened his pace, only to slow it again as the identity of the women became clear.
“Emily? Is that you?”
“Hi, Mark,” she answered.
Eagerly, he jogged forward, fishing pole in hand. “Can I help you get in your kayak?”
A look of something resembling irritation flashed across her face. “If I can lift a kayak on and off my car, and carry it from the parking lot to the lake all by myself, I’m quite certain I can get into the water, too.”
He drew back at the animosity in her voice. “Oh, okay. No sweat. We’ll leave you to it, then.” Cupping his son’s shoulder, he tried to steer him in the direction of the parking lot, but Seth wiggled free and ran back toward Emily.
“Take me with you. Pretty, pretty please? I’ve never, ever, ever been in a boat like that before.”
“Seth!” Mark stepped forward, waving his fishing pole. “You can’t just invite yourself in someone’s boat like that, little man. It’s rude.”
The boy’s shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean to be rude, Daddy. I really didn’t.”
Emily dropped to her knees in front of Seth, her black-and-gold bikini top and black spandex shorts evoking a rapid swallow or two on Mark’s part. “Maybe your dad can take you out for a few minutes and let you see what a kayak is all about.” Peeling her attention from his son long enough to make eye contact with Mark, Emily gestured toward the kayak with her chin. “I’ve already been out once this evening. Why don’t you take him out for a little while?”
“I can’t take your boat,” Mark protested.
“Sure you can. Have you ever been in a kayak before?” she asked.
He willed himself to focus on her face, to refrain from looking back at her sweet curves, but it was hard. “Kayaks, no. Canoes, yes.”
“Then a crash course is in order. Though, since I wasn’t expecting this, I don’t have a life jacket that’ll fit Seth.”
“That’s okay.” Seth raced toward a bag several feet from his castle and tore through its contents, returning with a pair of inflatable armbands. “See? I’ve got my Floaties!”
Emily made a face. “Not exactly the same thing, I’m afraid. But if you don’t go out too far, they’ll be okay this one time.” Turning to Mark, she said, “And you? What kind of a swimmer are you?”
“Solid.”
She considered his response, then gestured toward the boat. “When you sit in a kayak, you need to keep your legs together and your knees slightly bent. Keep your weight over the center line. Remember that and you won’t flip.”
She retrieved the paddle from the sand. “Now, for locomotion, you grip this with both hands, see?” Placing her hands slightly wider than shoulder width apart, she demonstrated the correct way to hold it and move it. “The blade of the paddle can also be used as a rudder, for steering, if there’s somewhere in particular you’re trying to go or trying to avoid.”
Ten minutes later, Mark knew enough about the boat and the paddle that he was out in the lake with Seth as Emily watched from the shore. “Wow, Daddy! The next time I play castle with my blocks at Gam’s house, I’m gonna give my prince and princess a boat just like this.”
“You don’t think they’d prefer a sailboat or maybe a regular rowboat?” he teased. “Kayaks are kind of narrow and might not fit your princess’s dress too well.”
“The princess will be fine. She has short dresses, too, you know.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that.” Mark paddled about, glancing back at Emily more than he probably should.
“I like my new friend, Daddy. She’s really nice. And she likes castles, too!”
He forced his focus back on his son, noting how the late-afternoon sun was haloing his head. “Oh? You made a new friend at preschool? What’s her name?”
“Not at school. Here.” The motion of Seth’s body as he tried to turn and point toward the shore made the kayak rock. “Whoa! Did you feel that, Daddy?” he asked, wide-eyed.
“I did. And it’s because you’re moving around. Remember what Emily said about staying in the center?” Mark tilted his chin toward the shore, but knew it was futile, considering Seth was facing forward, his back to him. “So you were talking about Emily just now when you said you made a new friend?”
“She made a flag for my castle!”
Mark had to grin at the enthusiasm in his son’s voice. “Wow, you’re right. She is really nice, huh?”
Seth’s head bobbed up and down. “How did you know her name, Daddy?”
Because once she told me, I couldn’t get it out of my head….
Surprised by the thought, he willed himself to find a more appropriate answer, one that wouldn’t get the kayak rocking again. “Remember how I went and played that big-boy game in the woods today? Well, Emily was the teacher.”
What Seth said in response, Mark didn’t catch, as the mere mention of the beauty on the beach had him glancing over his shoulder once again. She was sitting on the sand, watching their progress. When she spotted him looking, she flashed a thumbs-up.
“Daddy, Daddy, look! Look at that fish!”
At the sudden jerking movement, Mark swung his head back around, but it was too late. Before he was able to reprimand the boy for leaning too far to one side, they were in the water.
Emily jumped up and dived into the lake with record speed. “Are—are you okay?” she called as she stroked toward them.
“Yeah, we’re good,” Mark assured her, gripping Seth with one hand and the overturned kayak with the other. A moment later he had his son settled safely on his back. “And, oh … remember that tip about staying in the center of the boat? That was a good one,” he sputtered through gulps of lake water. “M-maybe you could add a class on kayaking to your company’s lineup.”
Her laugh cut through the sound of his splashing and warmed him in ways he didn’t expect in the chilly water. “I offer kayaking classes all the time, Mark.”
Hooking a thumb over his shoulder, he gestured toward his son, who was pretending Mark was a white horse if the words making their way into his left ear were any indication. “We