With effort, Brady opened his eyes and became aware of his surroundings in CICU. Laura was stroking his hair. She loved to touch. She’d always loved to touch.
Laura.
She’d stood by him through everything. And now she’d probably saved his life. More that he owed her.
An oxygen tube was at his nose. He moistened his dry lips. “What happens next?”
“Brady. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you—”
Pushed him to tell the kids. To tell Kat, whom he’d never had a problem loving. But most of all to explain to Sean. Laura had loved their son from the moment he’d been settled in her arms by the caseworker. His own lack of response to his adopted son had made her especially protective of the child she’d loved instantly.
“It’s okay,” he managed to say hoarsely. His mouth was so dry. “Did you do CPR? I thought I heard a medic say you did.”
“Sean and I did.”
“I guess I might not make that Orioles game,” he said, trying to joke. She’d gotten him tickets for the Orioles third home game for their anniversary.
“Maybe not that game. But another one soon.”
Laura’s forced optimism wasn’t going to do either of them much good if he didn’t pull through this. “You were right,” he murmured.
“About what?”
Right about driving himself too hard, working too much, caring little about his health as long as he’d gotten everything done in a day that he’d planned. “I should have signed up for that gym membership you suggested.” He attempted to give her a smile but didn’t quite pull it off.
She looked surprised, as if that wasn’t what she’d expected.
Keep it on the surface, he warned himself. Don’t make matters worse. “What happens next?” he asked again.
“You have a catheterization in the morning. Till then, you need to rest. Don’t think about anything you shouldn’t.”
Like reporters in their front yard? Like the condemnation he’d surely see in Sean’s eyes after his son read the article?
Don’t think about it. Bury it. Like the past.
As Brady floated in a fuzzy haze, he knew he wasn’t going to dig everything up again. It didn’t matter what anybody thought, including his son. As he’d told Laura, Sean would prefer to believe the worst. If they just let everything die down—
Today’s news was tomorrow’s garbage. Vietnam was old news. He was not going to unearth memories better off left buried, unearth feelings so claustrophobic they choked him.
His heart was beating harder. Laura wasn’t quite in focus….
The sliding glass door opened and a nurse hurried in. “Ten minutes are up,” she said kindly. “But you can return in an hour.”
“Our son or daughter will be visiting then.”
Brady squeezed her hand. “You come back.”
“It’s important the kids see you.”
“Kat,” he agreed.
“Sean, too. It’ll be okay, Brady. I promise.”
Okay? He didn’t believe that for a minute.
Laura leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips.
He was almost relieved when she left. Closing his eyes, he willed his heart not to hurt any more than it already did.
Chapter 3
When his mom entered the waiting room, Sean stopped pacing. “What’s going on?” he asked, anxious to know his dad was still alive. No matter what his mom said, his dad’s collapse was his fault.
She mustered up a little smile. “Your father opened his eyes a couple of times and he even talked to me. We have to believe he’s strong enough to pull through. He’s going to need our support and—”
“Aunt Pat!” Kat jumped up from the sofa where she’d been paging through a magazine and ran to her aunt. “Did you hear? Dad had a heart attack!”
In the doorway Pat put her arms around her niece and gave her a long hug. At the same time, she glanced at Laura. “Has anything changed since you called me? I just got your message.”
Aunt Pat, his dad’s sister, was a real estate agent. Divorced, she’d never had kids, but she was nice enough, even if she did have silicone boobs and sprayed hair. She was supernice to Kat, had even invited her on a shopping trip to New York last summer. She’d given him a hundred dollars his last birthday, and that was way cool.
“He’s scheduled for a catheterization at 7:00 a.m.,” his mother responded.
“Can anyone visit him?”
“Ten minutes on the hour.”
“I won’t take that time away from you. He’ll know I’m pulling for him. I always have.”
Sean wondered what that meant. The realization dawned that he really didn’t know a lot about his parents—not really. Apparently they had secrets.
“If you’re going to be here through the night, I can drive the kids back to your place and stay with them until morning if you’d like,” his aunt offered.
Sean didn’t have to be told that a heart cath was serious stuff. “I’m not leaving. I’ll stay here.”
Aunt Pat studied him as if he were a kid. “There’s nothing you can do here.”
“I’m staying.” When he checked with his mother, he saw she understood.
She understood a lot of things his dad didn’t. But even his mom couldn’t imagine everything he kept inside. He was a disappointment to his parents. He’d never lived up to their expectations. Until he’d been diagnosed with dyslexia, his dad had thought he was lazy, that he didn’t care, that he didn’t try. After all, he wasn’t their real son. Their real son had died, and his father would never forget that. When he looked at him, Sean always felt small, as if he’d never measure up. Maybe he wouldn’t.
After all, his biological mother had given him away. He’d had the guts to finally ask questions when he was around ten. He’d learned she couldn’t care for him, and she hadn’t even known who his father was! He had no desire to find her or meet her. He had a mother. He didn’t need another one. And since his father’s identity was a mystery…Brady Malone was his dad and they were stuck with each other.
“Mom, should I go with Aunt Pat?” Kat asked.
“That’s up to you, honey. You’ll only be five to ten minutes away. I can call if anything happens.”
“What do you mean if anything happens?” Kat sounded afraid. “Dad’s not going to die. He’ll be all right, won’t he? You said he will.”
Laura went to Kat now, too, and draped an arm around her shoulders. “We have to believe he will.”
Sean felt as if he were standing in the middle of nowhere, all alone, the way he always was.
Kat’s eyes were wet now and tears dripped down her face. “I don’t want to stay here. I don’t want to smell these awful smells and see all these sick people.”
Usually he tolerated his sister. But sometimes…“You’re such a spoiled brat,” Sean muttered before he could help himself.
Kat’s “I am not” protest and Laura’s warning “Sean” hit the air at the same time.
Aunt Pat held her hand up like a referee. “Whoa, everyone. Take a deep breath. Kat, it’s okay if you don’t like the hospital. I don’t, either. If you