Sasha had been allowed to enjoy his. He had spent every minute of his day dealing with the complexities and demands of running a hugely successful business. All of a sudden the realisation had come to Nikolai that he was fatigued and disenchanted, and that the only thing he really longed for right then was his freedom… And not just from his sense of duty and responsibility. Veronika and he had barely been speaking to each other, and on the rare occasions when they were actually home at the same time lived in a state of near excruciating stalemate—neither of them having the time or energy to bring the increasingly brittle marriage to its deserved and grateful end. Nikolai had long suspected she might be seeing someone else.
Unexpectedly, Elizabeth had knocked on the door, shaking him out of his agonising introspection, and he had been grateful. She had brought him a cup of tea made just the way he liked it—black with sugar and lemon. When she had first arrived at the house to work he had been instantly drawn to her warmth and shyness, and her eagerness to learn new things. When she had exposed an interest, he had personally schooled her in the intricate art of making his favourite beverage in the highly decorated brass Samovar that had originated in Moscow and had belonged to Nikolai’s great-great-grandmother.
Her thoughtful gesture in bringing him the tea, and the radiance of her presence, had acted like a soothing balm to Nikolai’s soul, and he recalled smiling up at her with much more warmth than usual, his worries temporarily forgotten. He remembered Elizabeth placing the mug carefully on the side of the desk, and how fascinated he’d suddenly become with the graceful contours of her small, pretty hand as she’d uncurled it from the porcelain. A powerful desire had consumed him to discover if the flawless texture fulfilled the idea of satin and silk, as its appearance so alluringly suggested.
Compelled by some irresistible force he hadn’t been able to fight, Nikolai had reached out and cupped his palm over her knuckles, momentarily holding her captive. A bolt of electricity had harpooned through him like lightning, and Elizabeth had been equally affected. Her sweet breath had whispered over him like hushed gossamer silk, and Nikolai had gazed into her eyes and seen the same helplessly wild longing that he had known must blaze in his own hot glance.
‘By all the saints!’ Before he’d known it he’d been rising to his feet and cupping the back of her head, to free the pale ivory comb that confined her hair. It had fallen onto her shoulders like warm summer rain, drifting softly onto a sunlit meadow, and trickled through Nikolai’s fingers like smooth, silken skeins of pure spun gold. He had caught his breath in sheer delight, the parameters of his world narrowing down to just the vision of her lovely face. His senses on fire, he had touched his lips to hers, finally drinking at the exquisite well that promised to satisfy his thirst and heal his wounds like no other…
Wrenching his mind free of the distracting and stirring memory, Nikolai forced himself to return to the present. The fact was—if his suspicions were correct—the lovely face and bewitching but treacherous lips before him had also been caressed by his brother, and it made him wonder if he had imagined the mutually hungry response and naked need in her eyes that day five years ago? Or was it simply that Ellie, as she called herself now, was a girl who took pleasure in teasing men with her beauty and sexuality just because she could?
Even though he had no evidence to support the idea, it was utterly distasteful to Nikolai’s strong sense of male pride that she might employ such disingenuous behaviour—even once—and it completely doused the heat that had automatically flared inside him. But he knew that it would undoubtedly surface again. He had always been attracted to his brother’s beautiful sister-in-law, and could no longer deny it. But he had been married when she had dropped out of college to come and take care of Arina after her sister’s death.
Sasha had been in no fit state to take care of the baby himself, so had agreed to let Nikolai take charge of things. And, although there had been a definite maturity about the way Ellie had conducted herself, and also the way in which she’d taken care of her small charge, there had been a touching innocence about her too, and because of her comparative youth Nikolai had fought hard against his growing attraction for her.
‘So—’ he broke some bread between his fingers ‘—we will eat our meal and I will take some time afterwards to consider what kind of compensation I would like from you, Ellie.’
She pulled her gaze away from him, but not before Nikolai saw the tide of hot colour that rushed into her cheeks. Was it caused by anger, embarrassment, or something else? Like that illicit kiss they had shared the evening before the accident? His interest deepened.
‘In the meantime…I’d like to see Arina,’ she said, injecting a determined note into her soft voice.
Immediately Nikolai’s fierce sense of protectiveness towards the little girl who had become his pride and joy surfaced, and he already knew his answer. ‘That is not something I am going to agree to straight away—and I am sure you can guess at the reasons why. Arina is my daughter now. Yes…after Sasha died and Veronika and I split up I officially adopted her. After such an upsetting start in life she is happy and well-adjusted, and I am not about to jeopardise her happiness in any way—no matter how much you say you desire to see her again!’
‘What do you think I’m going to do, Nikolai? Try and force her to accept me and like me?’ Ellie’s eyes were round with hurt. ‘I didn’t tell you before, but now that I’ve got used to the idea I’m glad that you found me! Yes—glad! I’ve wanted to see Arina for so long—even if it’s only for a few minutes. She is my sister’s only child, and I meant what I said when I told you I loved her and have never stopped loving her!’
‘You will have to let me think about it. First of all I will need to see for myself the kind of person you have become in the years we have been apart, and whether you are indeed someone I would want involved in my daughter’s life.’
‘You make me sound like the very worst criminal!’
‘Where Arina’s well-being is concerned, I take no chances.’
‘That’s all I want, Nikolai.’ Suddenly she looked close to tears. ‘A chance! A chance to prove to you I’m neither a liar or a thief!’
‘Trust has to be earned and built up… Especially when it has been shattered as badly as it has been in my case!’
The waiter brought the wine Nikolai had selected, and while the man expertly poured it into the waiting slim-stemmed glasses after his nod of approval he concentrated his gaze once more on the increasingly distressed expression on his beautiful companion’s face. In a weak moment, Nikolai took pity on her.
‘Arina has been at school full-time for about a year now—since she was five. She seems much enamoured with it.’
‘Jackie always loved school…At least she coped with it much better than I ever did! How do you—how do you manage taking Arina and collecting her every day with your work commitments now that—now that your wife is no longer with you? Does she still have a nanny?’
‘Between my housekeeper and my au pair we manage very well. Elsa—the au pair—is in charge of the school run, and Miriam—my housekeeper—also helps out when she is needed. Arina is fond of them both.’
‘You have never—you’ve never thought about remarrying?’
Ellie’s question took Nikolai by surprise for a moment. After the soul-destroying relationship he had shared with Veronika he’d told himself he would avoid making a similar horrendous mistake again like the plague! Apart from occasionally thinking that Arina would benefit from having a mother in her life, he would not be human if he did not admit to feeling lonely from time to time too…lonely for a tender, loving woman who would not only warm his bed but would be a true partner in every sense of the word.
Women to warm his bed Nikolai could easily find…but someone tender and genuinely caring of his welfare…that was another story entirely.
‘Not lately,’ he replied, finally answering the question. ‘But then I have preferred to devote my time and energy to taking care of Arina rather than invest it in a relationship. Besides, I have my work as