the first time.
She felt brave. She felt certain.
She felt happy.
A whisper of who she’d been before she’d learned to shut herself down. Before the Colin debacle. And blackmail. Before she’d had to face her father and tell him what she’d done. And what the fallout from it might be.
I can’t protect you anymore, Rachel. These choices you’re making are dangerous. People, men, will always try to take advantage of you because of your connections, the press will always hunt you because of who you are, and you’re courting it. No more. If you keep on like this, I will not cover for you again. I love you too much to enable you this way.
And less kind words from her mother. A woman in your position can’t afford these mistakes. It’s not only immoral, it’s dangerous. Think of what the press will say. About you. Us. I haven’t spent all these years helping propel us to this position in society to watch you tear it down with stupid behavior!
Angry words spoken in private. A side of her mother only Rachel ever saw.
But she’d taken those words, balled them up and stored them in her chest, kept them close, ever since.
Except...except this moment.
But it was different. It was out of time, out of the real world entirely. And Alex didn’t even know who she was. He didn’t want to use her. Didn’t want to get her into a compromising position so he could sell photographs, or a dirty video.
Even Ajax, one of the kindest people she knew, wanted her for her name more than anything else.
But that wasn’t Alex. Alex just wanted her.
That simple thought pushed everything dark away from her mind. Everything in the past, everything in the future. There was just now. And now was perfect.
They started walking down the sidewalk, then they were running, laughing. She bent and kicked her shoes off, carrying them in her free hand as she ran barefoot down the stone walk.
They stopped in front of the hotel, the lights from the lobby casting a glow on Alex, on the fountains in front of the building. “Oh, yes,” she said, breathing heavily. “I’m in a nice hotel.”
“So you are.” He laughed, the sound reverberating through her body.
“Don’t feel awkward or anything.”
“I don’t,” he said.
Of course he wouldn’t. It was hard to imagine him feeling awkward anywhere. “Good. I need to know at least three more things about you before we go in, okay?”
“Depends. Are you going to do a credit check?”
“I swear not,” she said, “I won’t even fingerprint you. But...you’re a stranger, and I can’t have that.”
“Really? And what is it that will make me not a stranger?”
She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, and when she opened them, Alex filled her visions. “Favorite color?”
“Don’t have one.”
“Come on. What color is your bedspread?”
He laughed. “Black.”
“Okay. How old are you?”
“Twenty-six,” he said.
“Oh.” For some reason the answer sent a little thrill through her. “Well, I’m twenty-eight, I hope that doesn’t deter you.”
“Not in the least,” he said. “I might, in fact, be more turned on now. If such a thing is possible.”
Her pulse kicked into a higher gear. “One more thing,” she said. “Would you rather...sleep under the stars, or in a beautiful suite?”
“Either. As long as you were with me. Preferably in a state of undress.”
The air rushed out of her lungs. “Well, that was the perfect answer.”
“Can we go in?”
“Yes,” she said, of course, since there was no way she was saying no now. “You aren’t a stranger now, so it’s all good.”
“I’m glad,” he said.
They went into the hotel and passed quickly through the lobby. She pushed the button and stood in front of the elevator, waiting, her nerves building as each second ticked by.
As soon as they were inside, as soon as the doors closed behind them, he pushed her back against the wall, his mouth hungry on hers, his hands roaming over her curves.
She could feel the hard press of his erection against her hip, could feel his arousal, not just there, but in every line of his body. The tense hold of his shoulders, the thundering of his heart, the urgency in his kiss.
She’d never in her wildest fantasies imagined herself here. Like this. With a man kissing her like he was starving for her. She never imagined she would be kissing a man as though she was starving for him, in truth.
Her past experiences included fizzy, alcohol-flavored kisses and heavy coercion. This wasn’t alcohol going to her head. Nor was it coerced. It wasn’t about rebelling against her neat and orderly life. It wasn’t about a sense of duty. It was about her.
They were at her floor not nearly fast enough and all too quickly. Any slower, she might have died—or he might have just taken her straight to heaven with her clothes on. She was close, so close, and she knew it.
She might not have ever considered herself overly passionate but she had a sex drive. And since Ajax was patiently waiting to take things to the next level, that meant she was an expert at satisfying that sex drive on her own.
Orgasm she knew. But having it entirely out of her control? That was a whole different matter. She’d given Colin pleasure, but he’d never really touched her. And anyway, that was eleven years ago, and the extent of her experience with men and any sort of nudity.
Now she was here, and Alex was definitely touching. And her pleasure was all in his control. It was both exhilarating and terrifying.
She walked out of the elevator into the hall, her legs shaking. She dug through her purse, trying to find the little key card she’d thrown in there earlier. Why had she been so careless? She hadn’t had this in mind, that’s for sure. She hadn’t known there would be urgency. She had all the urgency and no flipping key....
She scraped the bottom of her purse with her hand and came up with the card. “Oh, thank God,” she breathed. “That was sacrilege, wasn’t it?” she asked, looking back at Alex.
“Why?”
“Thanking God because I found the key so we could...well, this is fornication, isn’t it?”
“It will be in five minutes,” he said. “Right now it’s just lust.”
“Pretty powerful stuff.” She turned to the door and slid the key in the slot. The light turned green. “So, I guess we go in now.”
He stopped and touched her cheek with the tip of his finger, the gesture so tender it shocked her. “You’re very pretty when you’re nervous.”
Her face heated. “Well, that’s nice of you to say.”
His blue eyes locked with hers, so sincere, so focused. As if he could only see her, as if she was the only thing that mattered. No one had ever looked at her like that, not ever. “I mean it.”
She coughed, her throat suddenly tight with emotion. “Well...thank you. But I’m less nervous when you kiss me. Maybe we should go with that?”
He didn’t have to be asked twice.
He pulled her into the room and onto the bed. She was flat on her back, the mattress soft beneath her, Alex hard over her. She didn’t have time to be nervous. She was too turned on,