the way Sean alternately rebuked then pampered his sister, if it didn’t make her heart hurt thinking about Sean at all.
Though not thinking about him had become impossible with Emma coming back to San Diego for a while.
The ache in her chest was joined by self-mockery. Who was she kidding? It didn’t matter that she and Sean had broken up six miserable months ago—he was on her mind way too often, anyway. It also didn’t matter that their relationship had started to list toward rocky shore shortly after their engagement, showing how wrong she’d been during those first starry-eyed months with him. Obvious, important differences had wedged between them, slowly shaking the foundation of what had seemed like perfection together. How that had happened was something she still couldn’t figure out—didn’t falling in love at nearly first sight mean it was meant to be?
The blinding happiness she’d felt then had convinced her it did. And was blinding the right word, or what? She’d certainly chosen not to open her eyes to all the reasons things could never work out between the two of them until after he’d put a ring on her finger, making their breakup all that much harder for both of them.
“Oh, and speaking of Sean,” Emma said, emphasizing her brother’s name in a way that had Bree bracing herself for what might be coming next, “I wanted to confess something.”
“Confess what?”
“Mom told me he’s been gloomy and restless ever since you two broke up. So I set him up with a dating service to help him move on. Just so you know, in case you see him on a date.”
“You did what?” Bree’s mouth fell open and she stared at her friend.
“You don’t mind, do you?” Emma raised her eyebrows, the picture of surprised innocence. “I’m just trying to help him find someone better suited to him, and he works so much, he doesn’t have time to meet women. I mean, you’re the one who broke the engagement. And are ready to move to Hawaii. Right?”
Cold, shocked dismay shot through Bree at Emma’s statement. Why, she didn’t know. She shouldn’t care one bit. A rational woman wouldn’t. It was over between them for a lot of good reasons, and she was moving on, literally and figuratively.
“Of course I don’t mind.” And she didn’t. And maybe her nose was growing, because the thought of seeing Sean with another woman on his arm, thinking of him sleeping with someone else, made her feel sick to her stomach.
“I figured you’d want him to move on,” Emma said with a nod. “You probably know how close he and Dad were. When Dad was so sick in hospice, he told Sean one of the things he hated most about being sick was that he wouldn’t get to see our kids when we had them, and told both of us he knew we’d be great parents. Made Sean promise to live his own life to the fullest, the way he had. It...it makes me really sad, you know?”
“I’m sorry.” Bree reached to squeeze Emma’s knee. “That has to feel horrible, with your little one on the way now.”
“It breaks my heart that my baby’s never going to know his grandpa. And after Dad died, Sean was even more determined to be the man Dad raised him to be.” Emma’s eyes filled with tears. “Wants to be just like him, you know? A good doctor, a loving husband and the world’s best father.”
Bree’s throat closed, and she couldn’t think of a thing to say in response. How much Sean wanted a family of his own had become painfully, fatally clear, but she hadn’t realized until this moment how much that desire was tied up with his love for his dad, and his mother, too. Bree might not know anything about having the world’s best father, but she did know with certainty that Sean would be amazing at all those things, even though she couldn’t be a part of it. “I wish I’d known your dad.”
“Me, too. He was special.” A deep sigh left Emma’s chest. “So that’s part of the reason Sean was so happy to think he was going to be settling down with you and eventually having a family. Since that didn’t...turn out so well, I want to help him find that. Be happy again. I’m not sure he’s gone on any dates yet, so I’m going to be nagging him about it.”
Bree wanted to say, Well, thanks a lot for that, you traitor, but knew that would sound ridiculous and awful, under the circumstances.
She drew a long, slow breath. There didn’t seem to be much else to say on that depressing subject, and she forced a teasing tone to change it. “Think that volleyball belly will make you feel right at home on the beach?” She knew the game had been one of Emma’s favorite pastimes and wanted to steer the conversation somewhere light, away from distressing thoughts of Emma’s dad, and of Sean and their spectacular breakup. Away from visions of him with other women that dredged up memories and emotions better left deeply buried.
“Yeah. Except I’ll be the proverbial beached whale on the sidelines, not a player,” Emma said, smiling again. “Don’t tell Sean, but I admit being home always makes me feel good. It’ll help me get back into shape in no time. With the bike path on the bay right outside Sean’s place and not too far from Mom’s, I’ll be able to easily run with a stroller.”
Bree opened her mouth to say she’d love to join her, then shut it again. It seemed impossible that she’d be moving in just over a week, and she couldn’t deny that a part of her kept thinking about how things might have been different.
Over and done with. In the past, and her new job would be a step up. Right? It would.
Maybe her expression was saying something she didn’t want it to, because Emma tipped her head. “You really have to move to Honolulu? I mean, now? I wish you could be here when the baby’s born.”
“I wish I could be, too. But they need me to start soon because an ER doc is leaving. And it’s a good opportunity.”
“Not sure I believe it could be any better than here.”
“It’s a university Level One Trauma hospital,” Bree said. “With a chance to move into the emergency department director’s position at some point. Plus you know it’s important to me to take part in the bigger surf competitions. Living in Hawaii will make that easier.”
“Hmm. I suppose. Though you managed to do that living in San Diego.” Emma raised one eyebrow. “Truth. Are you moving because of Sean?”
“Of course not. We found out we’re not right for one another before we made the mistake of making it permanent. It’s a good thing.” Not that it had felt very good at the time, but she’d managed to move on. Pretty much.
“And all those reasons you came up with for it not working out between you two are a crock, if you ask me. So he likes to be in charge and is used to taking care of people, and you don’t need taking care of. So, what? Your independence is one of the things he loved about you, even if he wouldn’t admit it.”
“I don’t think so. It was one of the things about me that bugged him.”
“Wrong, and I know so.” Emma folded her arms across her chest, and Bree could feel her staring hard at her. “Another thing Dad said to Sean before he died? He asked him to take care of me and Mom. Yeah, that’s sexist, but he loved us and worried how it would be without him. And Sean was about as rock solid a support as a person can be for us, even when he got aggravated with me. Who in their right mind doesn’t want a guy who cares about you that way?”
“You, for one.” Bree stared in disbelief before turning back to the road. “You’ve bitterly complained about Sean wanting to take care of you, badgering you instead of letting you live your life the way you want to.”
“He’s my brother, not my boyfriend. So maybe he did a little too much trying to take Dad’s place, but, even when it made me mad, I always knew it was because he loves me. There’s such a thing as being independent to a fault, you know.” Her hand waved around dismissively. “And part of the breakup being because you wanted to run off and elope when he wanted a big wedding with all our extended family here, and all the cousins and kids dancing and everyone having fun? Plain stupid. Don’t tell me you two