Navy Officer to Family Man. Emily Forbes

to any of the other tourists and no one gave her a second glance. No one except the hawkers, but they weren’t targeting her specifically, they targeted all the foreigners.

      She found the hawkers overwhelming at first after the more relaxed shopkeepers of Ubud but Sam protected her from their frenzied persistence and Juliet eventually embraced the noise and the colour and, to a lesser extent, the crowds. The smells were a little harder to embrace but even those she eventually got accustomed to. She could have hidden away from the overwhelming vibrancy, she could have insisted that Sam take her back up the mountains, but instead, with Sam beside her, she absorbed the energy and felt it restore some life into her soul. With Sam beside her she survived the streets of Kuta and that felt like a major achievement. Not only had she survived but she was starting to come back to life, and Juliet knew she would be okay, knew that, as long as she had Sam, things would be all right.

      They were back at their villa in time for dinner. Sitting beside the pool, surrounded by the scent of frangipani and dining by candlelight, they began to talk about the future again, to discuss their hopes and dreams for the family they would surely have. Slowly Juliet started to trust that their dreams were not over, just delayed.

      A couple of days further on and she was ready to return to Darwin. She felt rested and, if still not fully recovered, at least able to face her life. She understood that there wasn’t always a reason for things and she trusted that children would be part of their lives when the time was right. Sam had given her comfort; he’d known how to help her heal, and while she never forgot this pregnancy she was able to get past the loss.

      What she didn’t know as she boarded the plane in Denpasar was that the miscarriage would be the first test of her resolve that year, but not the last.

      One week later she received a call from her father. That in itself was unusual?her mother normally phoned and her dad would speak briefly once she and her mother had finished gossiping. Juliet immediately anticipated bad news and assumed it involved her mother. Why else would her father call? He reassured her that her mother was fine and he was calling about her brother-in-law, Maggie’s husband, Steve.

      Steve was a policeman in Sydney and he’d been called in as part of reinforcements when riots had broken out at a Sydney beach. Juliet had seen images on the evening news the previous day—temperatures were soaring in an early summer heatwave and some longstanding cultural differences had spilled over from verbal sparring into physical violence. Juliet had called Maggie to check on Steve and had been told he’d sustained a head injury but had been discharged from hospital. She’d relaxed and she relaxed again now—she’d only spoken to Maggie a few hours ago, she could reassure her father that all was well.

      But her father had more recent news, and was calling to tell her that Steve had been readmitted to hospital during the night. He’d had a large subdural haematoma and had died before the neurosurgeon had reached the hospital.

      Her sister Maggie was a widow.

      Juliet and Sam were on the next flight to Sydney.

      Sam had been worried that Steve’s death would stretch Juliet to breaking point but for Juliet, Steve’s death put things into perspective. Her loss paled in comparison to Maggie’s. Thanks to Sam, Juliet had been able to escape to the sanctuary of Bali where she had been able to hide from her life until her sorrow over the miscarriage was able to be tucked away in her heart. It was no longer completely overwhelming and all-consuming.

      Maggie had lost her husband and she was left with two young children to comfort, explain to and care for. There was nowhere for Maggie to hide and despite Sam’s concerns Juliet was able to embrace the responsibility of being the one to support and comfort Maggie.

      She stayed in Sydney when Sam went back to Darwin but when she returned to Sam she was her old self, determined to move forward. They had each other and they would be okay, she’d make sure of it.

      Throughout all of this, Sam had supported her and she knew she would never have made it through to the other side without him. He’d been her rock then but who would be her rock now?

      CHAPTER FOUR

       September 2008

      IT HAD been several days since she’d finished having all the tests and since the oncologist had given her the bad news. It had taken Juliet a few days to get it all straight in her own head and some time to work out the best way to inform her family of the situation. She needed to make sure she had all the facts and information clear in her own mind before she attempted to explain it to others. She needed to make sense of the diagnosis, treatment and prognosis, and she felt it was important that she have control over who was told when.

      Everyone who needed to know, other than the children, was in New South Wales—her parents, her sister and Sam. The best plan was to arrange a weekend visit, organising it as just a weekend away with no other agenda. There would be time for explanations when she arrived.