tired of feeling like my opinions don’t matter.’
‘So what next?’
‘I need to talk to Jess and Cam.’
‘You’re doing this?’
‘I am.’ She smiled. She’d made a decision and it felt good. She knew it was the right one. She hated being alone but she was willing to sacrifice her relationship with Mike in order to give her sister a baby. Family was more important to her than anything. She’d lost so many members of her family already. First her baby sister had died when Kitty had been just five years old and then, fourteen years later, both her parents had gone too. To offer Jess and Cam the baby they longed for would help to compensate for everything and everyone they’d already lost. ‘Provided Jess and Cam agree.’
‘I can’t imagine they won’t.’
‘No.’ Her smile widened. ‘It’s perfect. My family needs something good to look forward to, something positive, after everything that has happened.’ She needed it too. ‘I’ll go and see them after work today and then I need to find a new place to live.’
‘You know you’re welcome to stay with me for as long as you need to.’
‘Thanks, but I can’t put you out of your bed.’ Joe had already spent the past couple of nights on his couch, giving up his bed for Kitty, but that wasn’t a long-term solution. ‘You said yourself I needed a more permanent plan. I’ll figure something out.’
KITTY STACKED THE empty dinner plates and took them into the kitchen. She had invited herself to Jess and Cam’s for dinner and had promised to do the dishes in return, but she wanted to have the discussion she had planned first. Her ultimate agenda was to raise her surrogacy suggestion.
‘A little while ago you mentioned that you were thinking about investigating the option of surrogacy using your frozen embryos,’ she said to them both as she returned to the table. ‘Have you done anything about that?’
‘Not officially,’ Cam replied. ‘We’ve done some research but it’s not a straightforward exercise. We think we’d like to find someone privately who’s willing to act as a surrogate but we’re not sure how to go about that. If we can’t find someone privately we’ll have to advertise and that’s tricky here, but we can’t afford to go overseas to do it. It’s not going to be easy.’
‘But we have to try,’ Jess added.
‘I know it’s not easy,’ Kitty said, looking into her sister’s dark eyes. A mirror of her own face looked back at her. There was no mistaking they were sisters. They had the same dark eyes and dark hair, although Jess’s was shorter and had grown back with a slight wave in it after the chemotherapy. Jess’s face was more oval than Kitty’s, whose own face could only be described as round. It made Kitty look young for her years but she was old enough to know what she was doing. She took a deep breath and held Jess’s gaze. ‘I would like to do it for you.’
‘What?’
‘I want to be your surrogate.’
‘Really?’
‘Really.’
‘You’re serious?’
Kitty nodded and Jess broke into a wide smile. She really was pretty when she smiled, Kitty thought as her sister bounced out of her chair and threw her arms around her. ‘I can’t believe this! Thank you!’
‘Why?’ Cam asked.
Cam’s reaction took Kitty by surprise. To be honest, she’d thought they’d both be ecstatic but while Jess was obviously delighted and grateful, Cameron was far more reserved.
‘That doesn’t matter, Cam,’ Jess remonstrated. ‘All that matters is that Kitty is offering.’ Jess was crying now as she continued to hug Kitty. Tears were running down her cheeks and soaking into Kitty’s shirt. Kitty was pretty sure they were happy tears.
‘I’m not saying I don’t appreciate your offer,’ Cam said as Jess finally let go of her little sister. ‘It’s very generous, but it’s not as simple as you might think. I expect we’ll all have questions, and one of mine is: why?’
In contrast, Jess didn’t appear to have any questions. Kitty knew she was far too emotional and too caught up in the idea that she could become a mum to worry about the intricacies and details, but Cam deserved answers.
‘You and Jess are my only family,’ Kitty explained. ‘You’re all I’ve got. If I can give you the baby that Jess desperately wants I get to expand my family. It’s a win-win situation.’
‘But you can have your own children,’ Cam argued. ‘You’re twenty-seven, this might take up the next two years of your life. Even if this works straight away it’s not like you can be pregnant tomorrow. There are meetings, counselling, legalities to sort through. Trust me, we know what’s involved, we’ve looked at everything. It’s not straightforward and it will take time. What if you want to have your own baby in the meantime?’
‘I’m not at the stage where I want to have a baby.’
‘But that might change at any point in the next year or two. And what about Mike? He’s older than you, what if he wants children sooner?’
Kitty shook her head. ‘I don’t think he wants that.’ It didn’t matter what he wanted, she wasn’t going to have babies with Mike anyway. She knew now more than ever that she didn’t want him to be the father of her children. He was too intense. Too controlling. She wanted someone fun. She needed someone fun. She needed someone to inject that into her life as well as her children’s. She knew she had a tendency to get a bit low and she needed laughter and light in her life. That’s why she loved being around Joe.
She didn’t mention that she’d broken up with Mike. If Jess thought it was because of her decision to offer to be their surrogate Kitty knew she might decline her offer, and she was desperate to do this. Desperate to give Jess the baby she wanted. That bit of news could wait for another day.
‘I want to do this.’ Kitty would put her life on hold indefinitely in order to give Jess the baby she wanted—the baby Kitty thought they all needed. ‘Can’t we at least investigate the idea?’
‘Yes.’ Jess was quick to agree and Kitty knew then that her offer had been accepted. She knew Cam didn’t have the heart to refuse his wife. Kitty knew he would give Jess anything she asked for if it were possible, and this just might be possible. At least they would get to try.
* * *
Kitty picked up the pen and signed on the dotted line next to Cam and Jess’s signatures. The lawyer witnessed their scrawls and stamped the pages. Signing the surrogacy agreement that had been drawn up was almost the final step in the process. Next their application would be reviewed by the IVF ethics committee and, if approved, she would become a surrogate. Not if, she told herself—when. She had to think positively. There was no reason not to think this wouldn’t go ahead.
Over the past two months she had been poked and prodded, examined and tested, but she didn’t mind. The tests hadn’t raised any red flags and she was told she was a good candidate. She knew the clinic would have preferred it if she had borne children already as it left less room for surprises or problems with the pregnancy and delivery, but it wasn’t a requirement in New South Wales, as it was in some other parts of the country, and for that Kitty was grateful. And the tests had given no indication that she wouldn’t have a normal pregnancy. She was a healthy twenty-seven-year-old. She was convinced there wouldn’t be any problems and fortunately that seemed to be the conclusion after all the tests were completed.
As a single woman in Sydney Kitty could access the medical care she needed as a surrogate. Jess and Cam had agreed to pay any out-of-pocket expenses, which could be quite costly, but they had no complaints.