ever since.’ His smile was slow and sexy and Stella wondered for the millionth time why she couldn’t have fallen for him instead of his brother.
You always have to do things the hard way, Stella.
Dismissing her mother’s voice from her head, Stella slid her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and forced herself to keep it light. ‘So—was this Nancy Potter pretty?’
‘She had red hair and a fierce temper.’
‘Sounds scary.’
‘Relationships are always scary.’
She wasn’t going to argue with that. ‘You and I both want the same out of life. I met you and Dan at exactly the same time, that week I started at the hospital five years ago. Why couldn’t you and I have fallen in love with each other?’
Patrick fed the log into the stove. ‘Because you’re a beautiful blonde and I hate stereotypes.’
Stella lifted a hand to her hair. ‘I could dye it black?’
‘Wouldn’t make any difference. There was never any chemistry between us.’
Stella watched his muscles flex as he reached for another log. ‘Do you remember that time you kissed me, just to check?’
‘Daniel punched me immediately afterwards.’ Patrick lit the fire. ‘He didn’t want you involved with me in case I hurt you.’
They exchanged a look, both thinking the same thing.
That, in the end, it had been Daniel who had hurt her.
‘Am I going to be able to do this?’ Stella was asking herself as much as him. ‘Am I going to be able to work alongside him every day and not wish I was with him?’
‘You tell me. Are you?’
Stella gave a murmur of frustration. ‘I don’t know. I hope so.’ She paced the length of the living room, hating herself for being so unsure and indecisive. ‘Yes, of course I can do it. And if it feels difficult—well, I just need to keep reminding myself that he and I don’t want the same things out of life.’
Patrick coaxed the flame to life. ‘You just need to keep reminding yourself that when it comes to women, Daniel is nothing but trouble. We Buchannans are seriously bad at relationships.’
‘You’re not.’
He rocked back on his heels. ‘I’m divorced, Stella.’
‘Your wife was clearly deranged.’
‘Or maybe I’m not easy to live with.’
‘No man is easy to live with,’ Stella said dryly. ‘You’re a different species. I just wish I’d listened to you when you warned me about Dan.’
‘It wouldn’t have made a difference. Women never listen when it comes to Daniel. It’s those blue eyes of his. For some reason I’ve never understood, he can seduce a woman with a single glance.’ Patrick stood up and brushed the dust from his long black coat. ‘I admire you. He wouldn’t give you marriage so you walked away. You refused to accept less than you deserve.’
Stella watched as the fire whispered and licked at the logs and then flared to life. ‘Why does that sound better than it feels?’
‘Because the right thing isn’t always the easy thing.’ Patrick studied her for a long moment. ‘Why now? Why did you come back now?’
As the room grew warmer, Stella unwound the scarf from her neck. ‘Because I hated London. Because two years is a long time. Because I worked here for three years and I miss all my friends. Because I can see how wrong Daniel was for me. And because I really am over him.’ Dear God, please let her be over him …
Patrick gave her a long, hard look. ‘If you’re over him, why haven’t you told him you’re back?’
Stella felt her heart lurch and she glanced from the stove to the exposed beams. ‘How did you find time to do this up?’
‘I didn’t. I just wrote cheques. And stop changing the subject.’
‘Why would I tell him I’m back? We haven’t had any contact since that nightmare Christmas two years ago. Not once.’ They’d been so close, and yet he hadn’t even contacted her to see how she was. ‘He doesn’t know I’m planning to live with his brother. He doesn’t know I’ve got a job in the emergency department. If I rang him and said I was coming back he might think I was dropping hints. Hoping to get back together or something. That would be awkward and embarrassing.’
‘So, instead, you’re going to walk into the emergency department tomorrow and surprise him.’ Patrick gave a sardonic smile. ‘I hate to disillusion you, angel, but I don’t think that approach is going to steer you away from awkward and embarrassing.’
‘Maybe not, but there won’t be an opportunity for conversation. There’s no time to talk about personal stuff in the emergency department, especially not at Christmas when it’s so busy.’ Stella flopped down on the comfortable sofa. ‘And one of the advantages of having been engaged for less than twenty-four hours is that most people didn’t know about it.’
Patrick spread his hands in a gesture of apology. ‘What can I say? Dan’s always shied away from commitment. Our parents’ marriage was ugly, you know that. Really ugly. Not an example anyone in their right mind would be in a hurry to follow.’
‘It didn’t stop you marrying.’
‘Maybe it should have done.’ His tone weary, Patrick walked to the window. ‘I suppose I wanted to create something I’d never had—I wanted the whole family thing. Dan just rejected it. And maybe he was the sensible one given that my ex-wife is now living in New York and my children no longer have a mother.’
‘I’m sorry about your divorce,’ Stella said softly, watching as Patrick’s broad shoulders tensed.
‘Don’t be sorry for me. I’m fine. It’s just the kids I worry about.’
‘I’m dying to see them. They won’t remember me.’
‘Alfie remembers you.’ Patrick turned with a smile. ‘He was eight when you left and you’ve been sending him thoughtful birthday presents. He’s dying to show you our kittens. And you won’t recognise Posy, she’s grown so much.’
‘I can’t believe she’s three.’
‘She’s very mischievous. Generally creating havoc.’
‘And what about you? Any women in your life?’
‘Thousands,’ Patrick drawled, a wicked gleam in his blue eyes. ‘I find I can’t get through the day without stripping at least one midwife naked.’
‘You can joke, but I happen to know that ninety-five per cent of the midwives in your department would be only too happy to be stripped naked by you.’
‘What am I doing wrong with the other five per cent?’
‘He’s a man.’
‘Ah.’ Laughing, he tilted his head. ‘Your turn to tell all. Did you find yourself a decent rebound relationship to cure you of my brother?’
Stella straightened her shoulders. ‘Not yet, but I’m working on it. It’s my Christmas present to myself. A love life. I’ve made a list.’
‘A list of men?’
‘No!’ Stella laughed. ‘A list of qualities. You know—things I won’t compromise on.’
‘Like tall, dark, handsome, rich …’ Realising what he’d said, Patrick threw her an apologetic look but Stella managed a smile.
‘That sounds too much like Dan,’ she said lightly. ‘I was thinking more of must want marriage and children.’