and ’round in her head all the way back to the apartment.
As soon as she’d put away groceries and prepared Mrs. Bromwell’s lunch, she left her propped up with pillows listening to the radio, then shut the door and reached for the phone. But fear of becoming vulnerable again prevented her from actually punching in the numbers.
Another hour went by while she debated what to do, all the while growing more and more frantic. Finally, when she couldn’t stand it any longer, she picked up the receiver and phoned Cord’s extension at the office. Most of the time Sheila answered it for him.
Prepared to hear the satisfied sound in her husky voice, Ashley was taken aback when a terse, “Yes—” came over the wire to meet her ear. He had to be in a vile mood.
“Cord?”
For once the deafening quiet coming from his end told her she’d caught him off guard.
“Ashley? Dear God—it is you.”
The raw emotion in his voice revealed that she still had the power to affect him in some small degree. Summoning her courage she said, “I went to see Greg today. He said you’d left the hospital. Why?”
“Does it matter?” he asked grimly. “Last night you said you didn’t want to hear anything I had to say.”
She was afraid it would be like this. “Cord—do you want me to go on, or shall we just hang up?”
“No. Don’t do that! I’ve been in a foul mood and didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
If she didn’t know better, she would say he was nervous, which was odd because Cord wasn’t the nervous type. Anything but. At least she could say that about the Cord she thought she knew. Right now she didn’t know anything anymore.
“If you need to be in the hospital, then I don’t understand why you went back home. What’s wrong with you?”
“It’s my worry, Ashley. I’ll deal with it.”
She frowned. Something was missing in Cord, some elemental spark which had always been there before. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but the fact that he didn’t seem like himself bothered her terribly. Especially when he was going to be a father soon.
“I’ve made a decision, Cord. Please check yourself back in and I’ll come over.”
“Because of problems at the office, I couldn’t go in before Monday. But in any case, it’s asking too much of you.”
Greg had intimated Cord was deeply depressed. She was starting to realize what he’d meant.
“Not according to Greg,” she interjected. “He seems to believe you’re in real trouble.”
“He’s exaggerating.”
“I don’t think so. Let me know when you’re back in City Creek Hospital and I’ll be there.”
“No, thanks. Your sacrifice isn’t required, certainly not this close to the divorce. I should never have called you. I’ll work on my problem in my own way.”
Ashley felt a stabbing pain in her heart. He sounded like he was giving up. She couldn’t let this go, no matter the situation with Sheila.
“I—I’m afraid it’s not just your problem any more.”
Another long silence ensued. “What in the hell do you mean by that?”
At least she’d roused him out of his morose state for a moment. “All will be explained when we see each other Monday morning. I’ll be there early.”
Without giving him a chance to respond, she quietly put the receiver back on the hook. Only now was it hitting her what she’d done.
Because she had agreed to meet him at the hospital, he would find out she was practically ready to deliver their child.
Not only would he be hurt and angry that she hadn’t told him, he’d be in shock. According to the tests, their pregnancy had to have made medical history.
She had a premonition that once he found out, everything would grow more complicated and the divorce would be prolonged. But she’d taken the risk and couldn’t go back on her word now. Not if something was really wrong with Cord, and she firmly believed there was.
Without wasting another moment, she called the Bromwell family to arrange for someone else to come in to watch after their mother.
On Saturday, when Mrs. Bromwell’s oldest daughter came over to the apartment with the new person hired, Ashley went shopping for some new maternity clothes. She couldn’t spend much money, but she needed a few decent outfits to wear to the hospital. In the end, she bought several pairs of tailored cotton pants and artist’s smock tops in a flowered print, plus a couple of dresses.
At five after six Monday morning, Ashley stepped through the doors of the hospital and walked over to the main desk. “I’m Mrs. McKnight. Has my husband, Cord McKnight, checked in yet?”
The receptionist typed in something on the keyboard and scanned the screen. “Yes. He’s here. Room 521-C. Take the east elevators to the fifth floor, then turn right and report to the nursing station. They’ll direct you from there.”
“Thank you,” she murmured with a sigh of relief. All weekend she’d worried that Cord wouldn’t show up after all.
With trepidation and a heart that was hammering out of control, Ashley headed for her destination. By the time she entered the elevator with her suitcase and sewing bag, she felt jittery and uncertain.
In the last eight months she’d become a different person physically. Though more slender than ever in body and limb, she was pregnant enough to look like she could have her baby anytime now.
Many women with their first pregnancy didn’t show as much as she did, but that was probably because she was five feet four and there was no room for her baby to grow but out. No wonder Greg had commented on how much she’d blossomed when she’d visited him on Friday.
As she made her way down the hall, she wondered if Cord would even recognize her, especially with her short hair. Friends and acquaintances who’d known her when it had been long said they liked it both ways. But they thought the pixie style showed off the smooth oval of her face and brought out her slightly almond-shaped eyes which were a mixture of blue and green. Cord had always remarked on how they shimmered between her dark lashes whenever she was in the throes of deep emotion.
She’d debated over wearing her wedding rings, but at the last minute decided she’d better keep them on. She and Cord were still married in the eyes of the law, and she had an idea Cord wouldn’t like it if she didn’t show up with them. Better not upset him any more than necessary. Her appearance would be shocking enough and she needed to make the most of it.
After changing her mind several times, she finally chose to wear the new Indian madras style in a shimmery turquoise shot with gold threads. The filmy dress with sleeves to the elbow, fell straight from the shoulders to the gold embroidered hem. Gold earrings and neutral leather sandals with a low wedge for walking comfort completed her outfit.
The last thing she wanted to do was embarrass Cord whose tall, rugged good looks turned female heads wherever he went. Possessing a physically powerful, hard-muscled physique with dark hair and eyes as dark as blue as cobalt, the attention he drew was a phenomenon Ashley had been forced to accept early in their relationship or jealousy would have torn her apart.
The only reason she could handle it was because he was oblivious to the stir that always surrounded him. The opposite of a vain man, he never thought of himself. Until Sheila, he’d never given Ashley any reason to think another woman filled his eyes or his thoughts.
Because from day one he’d made Ashley believe that she was his whole world, it was like a ghastly, sickening nightmare when she saw what was happening between him and his own stepmother.
Stop it, Ashley. The past no longer