He’d lived it. It was in his blood. Could his son have died because of the life Blake had chosen?
More than that. If Amanda was right, his partner had known. Vince, Blake’s so-called best friend, had known—or at least suspected—what had happened. He’d let Blake come back to Carder unaware, let those murderers run free.
Bastard.
Every instinct screamed at Blake to hightail it to Austin and rip apart his old police command center until he learned the truth. If they’d killed Kathy and Joey, he’d make whoever was involved pay. No matter the cost.
“Blake?”
He looked up at Amanda. Her voice quivered. Her deep blue eyes were filled with concern, pity…and something else. Fear?
He averted his gaze and stared down at his hands. His knuckles were white. His fists trembled as wrath consumed him. He wanted to yell and scream, release the overwhelming anger that shook his soul.
“Vroom.”
The small rumbling sound filtered from the other room. Ethan. Blake blinked. He couldn’t scare the boy again. Control. He had to regain control. He took a long, shuddering breath. Then another.
The police radio squawked to life from the other room. “Blake, it’s Parris. That car Scooter towed. I just ran the plates. It was stolen.”
The words wrenched Blake out of the quicksand of emotions he’d been sinking into. He rose from Joey’s bed and looked at Amanda in disbelief. Her face paled. In guilt.
Unbelievable.
Helping her just got a lot more complicated.
He crossed the floor to her. “Grand theft auto? A felony? What were you thinking? When you took that car, you tied my hands.”
“Why’d your deputy have to run the plates? You ruined everything.”
“Don’t put this on me. As far as Parris understood, the vehicle was abandoned. Standard procedure.”
“And you’re just so danged efficient here in Carder, huh?”
Blake shoved his hand through his hair. She’d broken the law, even though she’d had a damn good reason. He enforced the law, but justice was supposed to be black and white. There were too many blasted shades of gray here. He hated the gray.
She didn’t back away but met his gaze. “Oh yeah, making life harder for you is just what I planned. The guy who shot me was chasing us. He knew the make, model and plates. The bullet holes and busted windows were a dead giveaway. I had to take that car. What was I supposed to do? Call the cops?”
He understood. She didn’t know who she could trust in Austin. He didn’t, either. Blake cursed. She should have trusted him, though. She should have told him the truth the moment she regained consciousness.
He needed time to think. He couldn’t pull in his staff or state contacts. He stalked into the living room, picked up the receiver and pressed the button.
She raced after him and gripped his arm. “Please,” she whispered.
He glared at her. Damn her for believing he’d put her or Ethan at risk.
“Got the message, Parris. I’ll get back to you. Redmond out.” With a quick flick he turned down the volume on the receiver and faced Amanda. “You’ve put me in a tough spot.”
“I know I can’t stay here,” she said. “With the plates on record, it’s only a matter of time before they find us. Please, Blake, forget you ever saw us. Let me disappear.”
Anxiety coated her face and radiated from her voice. Her entire body tensed. She was ready to run. He hated the look, the sound of her fear. Hated Vince for pulling her into his mess, and that the man responsible wasn’t around to point the finger at the bad guys.
“Austin is five hours away—in good weather. Get Ethan some breakfast, and we’ll come up with a plan.”
“But—” She hesitated, a furtive glance toward the outside door, then the kitchen.
He sighed and placed his hands on her slight shoulders, resisting the urge to pull her against him, to comfort her…to lose himself in her touch. He buried the yearning. “Give me time to figure out how to help you without us all ending up in jail.”
He waited, half expecting her to challenge him again. Her questioning blue gaze studied him, as if she were trying to read his heart. He didn’t want her to look too closely. She’d shaken him to the core with her suspicions about his family’s death. He may very well have failed them in more ways than he’d ever imagined.
He couldn’t fail her and Ethan, too. He wouldn’t.
With a light touch of her hand on his arm, she nodded, called out to Ethan and led him, still clutching the toy truck, into the kitchen. At least occasionally she knew when not to push.
Blake shrugged into his shearling coat and tugged down his Stetson, ignoring the fresh wave of grief that threatened to wash over him. He’d survived Joey’s death knowing that accidents happen. But murder… Blake shoved the thought away. One fact remained: Amanda had been shot. She and Ethan were terrified.
He couldn’t let himself get distracted. Not now.
Leo sat near the kitchen door, watching him. He detoured and grabbed his weapon as the crackle of frying bacon filtered through his house. Almost made the place homey, but Blake couldn’t indulge in that dream.
He poked his head into the kitchen. “I’ll be in the barn,” he said, ignoring the familial picture of Amanda at the stove, Ethan playing at her feet. “I’ve turned on the intercom. It’s voice-activated, so I’ll hear you if you need me.”
He had to find focus and clarity. For Kathy and Joey’s memory. For Ethan and Amanda’s safety.
Leo followed him out of the kitchen, his tail down, whining. “Stay.” The dog’s ears sank and Blake patted the animal’s head. “Guard.”
Alert, Leo headed back into the kitchen, giving Blake some piece of mind. The dog could have been a K-9. He was a born watchdog, and Blake needed all the help he could get.
Amanda was right about one thing: once Parris had run the plates, the fuse had been lit. As Blake stepped on the yard, the crisp cold was no longer dangerous. The winter sun was brighter than usual. Before long, the ice would be gone, and travel would get back to normal. The perps would come to Carder. To find her and kill her. She was unfinished business.
By sending Amanda here, Vince had brought murderers to Blake’s town. If these cops had also killed his family, they would use anyone and do anything to get what they wanted. Which put Carder, and particularly his mom, the last of his family, at risk. At least she’d moved into town after his father died, unable to bear living in their ranch house. She’d be a little harder to track down, but not impossible.
He had to find a way to protect them all without bending the rules and becoming the cops he despised.
His feet crunched along the grass as he headed toward the barn. The moment he walked in, the ornery horse his father had loved for his wild and fiery temper started up. The chestnut danced around, flicked his head and glared at Blake. The SOB would bite anyone else who came near him. Even worse after his father died.
After a half hour of mindless chores, regret and strategizing, Blake knew he couldn’t avoid the stallion any longer. He grabbed a flake of hay and eased toward the stall. The animal puffed a breath through his nose and rose on his hind legs, batting the air.
“He looks dangerous.” Amanda’s whisper filtered from behind.
Blake’s heart skipped a beat at her voice. Utter aloneness had settled over him like a soggy, woolen blanket in this barn full of memories. The loss. The grief. Now, something inside of him longed to touch her, to turn to her. He’d wanted to hold her for longer than he cared to admit. He knew what her lips tasted like. He remembered so