But it was too far a length to reach, caught as if in a dreamlike place she feared Ham would find her. The wagon had broken apart, she remembered that clearly enough. The falling. The ruthless pain as she struck the earth. The lash of a whip against her flesh.
That must be why I hurt. She felt it suddenly as if she was slipping into a hot bath—although it was not water that rushed up from her toes and through her legs. Burrowed into her abdomen and raked upward until the backs of her eyes burned. Fiery sensation that was more than pain. Beyond pain.
Images returned. Of Ham drunk, towering over her, cursing and blaming her. She could smell the alcohol and his rage. Memory gripped her and it was good, because she at least knew what had happened. A wagon wreck. She’d fallen and was trapped, unable to move, because there was no way she could make her limbs or fingers stir. And the pain from his steel-toed boots hitting her ribs.
The baby. I must protect my child. She had to regain consciousness before the next blow struck. Her eyes could not see. Her lungs seemed unable to draw in enough air to speak with. She could not seem to make her mouth or tongue form a single word. Ice pellets struck her face as she clawed her way through the darkness of unconsciousness, struggling with all of her strength so that she had a chance. So her babe had a chance.
Fight, Claire. Fight. With all the strength in her soul, she struggled toward a single spot of grayness so far away in the darkness it was like the head of a pin.
But her will was strong and she focused on that single speck until it grew closer and larger still. Until it was the size of a tea saucer and she could see the hail of iced snow shooting from the gray heavens, feel the sharp, cold pricks on her face.
Then a shadow moved over her, shaped like the curving brim of a man’s hat. Ham? Was it Ham?
Panic pummeled her heart and it flapped in her chest. She was not yet strong enough to move. She was groggy, her body unresponsive, heavy and floppy like a rag doll’s. Terror rushed into her blood and she could feel it turn her veins to ice. Feel it drain the strength and the light. Her vision dimmed, and her entire being shouted at the injustice of it. The unfairness.
No! She had to fight. But the darkness was taking her, leaving her helpless as she awaited Ham’s next blow—by whip or fist or boot.
And then a man’s face moved into the fading circle of her sight. It wasn’t Ham’s face. This man had a strong square jaw, unshaved and rough with a few days’ growth. Brackets etched into the corners of his tight, almost harsh-looking mouth. High cheekbones and eyes the color of steel.
Joshua Gable. Realization lifted her up and she was floating away into the void again. Awareness faded even as she dared to hope that he’d come to save her.
I can’t take this anymore. Joshua gritted his teeth, although he couldn’t actually feel them. He was quaking all the way to the core of his bones.
He’d been this cold once—when he’d been hauling hay to the livestock and got caught in a blizzard with Pa. They’d made it home by luck and by good old common sense. He was using his best judgment, but that was no reassurance.
He could have been riding for ten minutes or two hours. He couldn’t tell. Time meant nothing. Distance meant nothing.
If the storm didn’t let up soon, the horse was going to freeze out from beneath him. General’s gait had slowed. There was no sense in even hoping the woman in his arms would live. The pale skin above the scarf he’d covered her face with was a deathly gray.
This was not the way he wanted it, either, he thought, unable to feel even her weight against his chest, her soft presence, her wool scarf. He couldn’t feel the horse beneath him. Or his feet—and to keep the blood flowing, he’d have to start walking soon. But no man had the strength to carry a woman through the foot-high drifts and against the pounding wind. He’d have to leave her on the horse—unprotected from the brunt of the storm.
He needed just a little help, a moment of intuition. An unmistakable landmark that he could make out through the thick curtain of ice. Anything, because chances were he’d missed the road. He’d missed any chance of finding shelter and was heading to the Canadian border, largely unsettled and uncharted.
Death. He’d never figured it would come for him this way. He’d been knocked upside the head by an angry bull a few times. That ought to have sent him into the afterlife, but he’d come out of it with nothing more troubling than a headache.
He’d been pinned against a barn wall by an irate stallion and kicked in the guts by an ornery mare. He had slipped on an ice patch trying to put out a chimney fire one winter years back. Those close calls had taught him he’d likely meet the same end doing his daily work.
He’d lived his life for his family. He did not regret it now, he thought as he brushed snow from Claire’s hood—she felt diminished more than she had earlier, as if something essential within her drained away with every minute that passed.
I’m sorry I couldn’t do better, he said silently to her, his thoughts weighed down by a passel of regrets. You deserved better. He leaned his cheek against her head, a gentle pressure, but the contact somehow tugged at his empty heart.
General stumbled, pitching forward. Joshua’s reactions were slow. He saw the horse going down and he knew what to do—he was kicking his foot out of the stirrup and swinging down, hauling Claire’s body against his chest, but not fast enough. His legs held no strength. His sluggish leg barely cleared the saddle. His knee wobbled as he tried to stand in the remaining stirrup and he couldn’t kick clear.
He went down with his horse, holding Claire up even as his ankle wrenched, caught in the stirrup, and snapped. His knees hit next, and the impact jarred through him like a body blow. He sank into his left hip, Claire unharmed but his body silent with shock.
He was too numb to feel the pain of whatever had happened to his ankle, but his body somehow knew and was reeling. A sick feeling built in his gut.
With the way his luck was going, he’d broken the damn thing. He couldn’t move it, and it was twisted nearly all the way around and stuck in the stirrup. He grabbed hold of his trousers at the knee and wrestled his foot free—and considering it came away at an odd angle only confirmed what he’d already guessed. He’d broken it—and good.
Hell. What else could go wrong? Couldn’t a man freeze to death in peace? Was it too much to ask for a moment of peace in this life, damn it!
Not that he planned to sit here and freeze to death, but a second without misery or disaster would be appreciated. He felt his temper lifting him up and he gave thanks for the tight laces on his boots. It served as enough of a splint to let him move forward one dragging step at a time.
A smart man would accept that he was licked and give in to it. But no, not Joshua Gable, he thought as he settled the woman’s weight against his shoulder.
Not that he’d ever been a smart man. He’d lived with his mother and his sister long enough to have endured numerous insults about his intelligence. You are simply a man, Betsy’s soft alto voice rang in his mind along with the huff of frustration.
You think just like your father, may he not rest in peace! Mother’s shrill drill-sergeant manner actually brought a smile to his hard and decidedly frozen face. He’d miss them the most, he decided as the storm swirled around him, breaking apart to give him a glimpse of the mighty snow-shrouded Rockies towering to his left—before the downfall curtained him again. As for Granny—
Was it his imagination, or was that her red plaid scarf he saw? There was a spot of color hovering in midair, but he couldn’t figure out why he could only see the corner of what looked to be a scarf.
The storm thinned, and he saw it more clearly. A red flannel saddle blanket on a gray horse. A man in a gray wool coat perched atop the saddle.
“Gable? Is that you?” Doc Haskins called out as the snow shrank back and a blinding light seared his eyes. The storm had broken.
Joshua’s