one minute and had a warm, very willing woman pressed against him the next.
Used to going from zero to a thousand in the blink of an eye thanks to his job, Erik was absolutely, positively lucid as he rolled. Somewhere in the middle of the maneuver his brain kicked in and he knew the woman in his bed was Lola.
He recognized the feel of her. Her unique scent, something citrus with a spicy undertone. A brush of cinnamon now that had never been there before.
Even after six years, every detail about this woman was etched into his brain...right along with the ever present need for more of her.
So his body reacted, going stone hard in a split second. His burgeoning erection nestled between the soft heat of her thighs. Somehow he managed to bite back the groan climbing up his throat.
“What the hell?” he growled, his voice rough with sleep.
Even through the heavy darkness, Lola stared up at him with those rich brown eyes that had always had the ability to slam through him. Her face was so damn expressive.
And right now her expression was hazy and hot. She was as turned on as he was. Which wasn’t helping. Her chest rose and fell on short breaths and her skin... God, touching her burned.
Involuntarily, his hips pulsed against her, rubbing his throbbing flesh into the cradle of her thighs. And Erik realized she was almost completely naked.
Miles of her silky, honey-toned skin spread out, just begging for him to taste her.
He wanted her. Needed her. Had missed her so much. But he was also wary and still reeling from the things she’d said yesterday. All true, but still...
Fingers tangled in her long, dark hair, Erik said, “A day ago you were condemning me, and now you’re crawling into my bed half-naked? What gives, Lola?”
Her expression morphed, shuttered. Her gaze darted over his shoulder, focusing on something other than him. He didn’t like that at all.
Lola shifted, this time not to get closer, but to slip away.
“Oh, no you don’t.” His fingers tightened, pulling her gaze back on his. “You’re the one who climbed into my bed. I’m keeping you here until you explain what the hell is going on.”
Tension tightened her body for several seconds before everything inside her just...relaxed, and she sank deeper into the mattress beneath the weight of his body.
“Nothing, Erik. Let me go.”
He should. Deep down, Erik knew it. But the feel of her...having her in his bed again after all these years...
Softly his fingers untangled from her hair and trailed across the silky smooth skin of her cheek and jaw. Touching her was the most amazing form of torture. The kick of awareness and need would have brought him to his knees if he was upright.
This woman had always had the ability to cut straight through him. He’d wanted her since he was seventeen. It had taken him almost a year to convince her to go out with him. To look at him as something other than her big brother’s best friend.
In those months he’d done everything he could to show her he was serious and not just looking for something quick and easy. And the day she’d finally agreed to go out with him...he’d never forget the powerful, joyful feeling that had swept through him. Or the delight and wonder in her expression when she’d opened the box to find the camera he’d saved six months to buy her. The extra hours he’d worked had been totally worth it.
He hadn’t given her the gift just in the hopes of breaking through her defenses. He understood the reasons she’d resisted, but he’d always known they’d be amazing together.
At seventeen he’d been sure Lola Whittaker was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And up until the day he’d almost killed her brother, that had continued to be the plan.
So, yes, he should listen and let her go.
But he couldn’t. He might have left, but he’d never let her go in his heart. Not really. Lola had haunted him for six years. He’d done the right thing once. Apparently he wasn’t strong enough to do it again.
“I can’t,” he whispered right before his mouth claimed hers.
She stiffened, but the reaction lasted only a handful of seconds before she gripped his shoulders and pulled him closer. A sound leaked out of her throat, a cross between a groan and relief.
At a single swipe of his tongue across her lips, she parted her mouth and let him in. God, she tasted just like he remembered. Spearing his tongue deep inside her mouth, he stroked against her own silky tongue.
She sucked and nipped. Chased after him when he tried to pull away. “Easy, baby,” he murmured. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Her legs tangled with his, hands chasing urgently over hot skin. She was just as frantic for him, which settled something deep inside him.
Erik pulled back, needing to look at her. Take her in. See her again. His gaze scraped down her lush body, all golden skin and compact muscle. God, she was gorgeous. And he wasn’t just talking about the outside.
Lola had always intrigued him. Even as a kid, her confidence and determination were enviable and contagious. She knew who she was and what she wanted. From the outside looking in, he didn’t think she’d ever faltered or questioned her own path.
He was someone who always questioned who he was, where he was going and what his purpose was, so her attitude had been like a shining beacon, pulling him in.
Lola, eyes half-lidded and sparkling with promise, arched up. Reaching behind herself, she popped the clasp of her bra open. Shaking the straps down her arms, she tossed the thing to the floor.
Just as he’d remembered, even her breasts were that warm, golden tone. He wanted to run his tongue over every inch of her skin, breathe her in. Her dark, dusky nipples puckered hard, begging him to touch and taste.
She squirmed beneath his gaze, a flash of unease crossing her expression. “Don’t,” he whispered. Erik didn’t think he could take it if she changed her mind. Not now.
“I don’t do reckless,” she murmured. And Erik knew just how true that statement was. Losing her mom so suddenly, living with her remaining parent risking his life every night...and then falling for Erik even after he started living the same life. That fear she’d kept bottled up had made her cautious, not that he blamed her.
Colt’s accident had surely made her even more so.
His life, on the other hand, was nothing but reckless.
Erik shifted, ready to climb out of bed even though it was the last thing he really wanted.
But Lola’s grip on him tightened, holding him in place. “Tonight I’m stepping outside my comfort zone,” she whispered. “You walked away without giving me anything, Erik. Give me this.”
Her words lanced through him, mixing pain into the pleasure that swamped his body. But he couldn’t tell her no. Had never been able to tell her no. Which was why he’d texted that he was leaving—because he knew if he’d looked in her eyes and she’d asked him to stay, he would have.
The thought of watching the love she’d felt for him morph into accusation and loathing—blame he’d rightly deserved replacing everything they once shared—had nearly killed him.
Tomorrow they’d deal with whatever came next. Right now he just planned on loving her.
Her hips shifted beneath him, rubbing the moist heat of her sex over his throbbing erection. This time, Erik didn’t bother trying to bite back the groan that twisted through him. Although he did smother it when he wrapped his lips around the irresistible flesh of her breast.
He sucked hard and then smoothed the flat of his tongue against the tight peak. Scraping his teeth softly up, he stopped, gently holding her nipple prisoner...and then blew. She writhed beneath him,