out with herself, once and for all.
Strong as her crush on Cameron Hunter had been as a teenager, she had been brutally forced to mature after he had married Lisa, resigning herself to the fact that he belonged to someone else. But ever since that weekend, when he had taken her to that hotel, those old feelings for him had returned with frightening tenacity, making her heart pound every time she heard his name, her temperature rise every time she thought about the mind-blowing skill in the way he had made love to her. And that was both stupid and ill-advisable, she warned herself chasteningly. She had to gain control of herself-strive for the detached and adult attitude in all this that he was obviously managing to maintain.
However, fate, it seemed, was out to test her that day, she decided when, having bought a few things in one of the department stores, she suddenly found herself taking a detour through the mother and baby department.
How strange that she should find herself looking at this, she thought, hesitantly fingering a small white matinee jacket that was hanging on a rail.
When the three of them had talked about this baby in the beginning, Lisa had said she would want to keep the facts of its birth a secret from it, but Cameron had insisted that every child had a right to the truth about its origins. But how would her child feel when it asked its parents, ‘What happened to my real mother?’ How would it react to them saying, ‘She gave you up for cash.’
No! The negation was so strong that she thought she had spoken it aloud. She was being silly. Her baby was going to have loving parents, a far more comfortable and privileged existence than any she could provide. And it wouldn’t have reason to think too harshly of her, surely—even if it didn’t realise it, it had been conceived so that its own grandmother might have the chance to live.
She turned away from the coat, but there were other things to torment her. Little jumpsuits. Rattles. Cuddly toys.
God! She needed a deep breath to stem the acute emotion that suddenly welled up inside her. She hadn’t reckoned on so much feeling so soon. And supposing Mum didn’t…
She couldn’t bring herself to form the thought in her mind. But this was Dawn Kendall’s grandchild she was carrying. Part of her mother. Part of herself. Perhaps the only blood relative she might have one day. Would she be strong enough when the time came simply to hand it over?
Determinedly she got a grip on her recalcitrant emotions, urging herself away from the baby department. Regardless of her own feelings, and the way she felt about the child’s father, she had entered into an agreement-had accepted money in part-payment under that agreement as well as giving Lisa the promise of hope in her childless marriage. She would—had to—remain detached.
Therefore, she decided, it would be best to avoid any further excursions into town by herself.
So when Larry rang her at the flat the following morning and invited her to go swimming with him during the lunch-break, happily she agreed, packing a swimsuit in her bag before she left for the office.
‘Very nice,’ he approved that lunchtime, when she surfaced from under the chlorinated blue water at the sports centre. Her pregnancy hadn’t yet begun to show, although the initial changes in her body had given a firm roundness to her breasts beneath the emerald satin of her swimsuit, temporarily giving her the voluptuous figure she had always envied Lisa. ‘Ever thought of getting involved with an up-and-coming solicitor?’
Larry’s eyes continued to appraise her, his dark hair plastered to his head. ‘Good prospects. Good sense of humour. And an immediate discount on any legal fees.’ He grinned.
‘Only if I can wear the ear-rings!’ Nadine teased, swimming away, because she knew Larry wasn’t really serious. At least, she hoped he wasn’t! Larry Lawson was certainly too unconventional for her!
She was walking back with him through the car park when she noticed the small white BMW convertible parked a little distance away, recognised the cerise silk blouse of the woman sitting in the driving seat.
‘It’s Lisa!’ Nadine hesitated, looking apologetically at the slim, rangy man beside her. ‘Would you mind if I just pop over and have a few words? I’ll see you in the car.’
She didn’t have any special reason for wanting to see Lisa, but she didn’t want her friend to drive off without knowing she was there. That was until she drew nearer the car, and then she stopped in her tracks, suddenly feeling rooted to the spot.
It was Lisa, all right. Nadine couldn’t fail to recognise the chic, short brown hair, raked through with blonde streaks and hard masculine fingers as her friend gave herself up to the arms of the man who was kissing her so passionately. Only it wasn’t Cameron!
Paralysed with shock, for a few moments Nadine couldn’t move. Then, gathering her faculties together, not wanting Lisa to see her, she tore blindly back across the car park.
How could she? The question harrowed her along with the nausea that sprang from more than just the early stages of her pregnancy. How could she? Lisa and another man?
She caught Larry’s surprised, ‘You weren’t long,’ as she climbed into the ancient purring Renault.
And all she could answer was, ‘No.’ She couldn’t believe it! Why would a woman married to a man like Cameron—a woman who had everything—want to…?
‘Are you OK?’ Larry directed a curious glance at her as he pulled out of the car park.
‘Yes,’ she answered mechanically. Only she wasn’t. Revulsion was sickening her. Revulsion and bewilderment, and the already dawning significance of the situation.
She was having a baby. The baby Lisa wanted. The baby she, Nadine, had thought was going to a loving, stable home with loving parents. But Cameron couldn’t know about this! Intuitively she knew he would never have planned a child if he had thought his marriage wasn’t one hundred per cent rock-solid, and she could never have believed Lisa would have—until now. But had she ever really known Lisa?
The seatbelt pulled painfully across her breasts as Larry braked behind the car he had been about to overtake.
‘Sorry.’ He grimaced apologetically. ‘This chap in front shouldn’t be on the road.’
Nadine forced a wan smile, still deep in the mire of her thoughts about Lisa. Lisa and that other man. She had always known her friend was volatile, perhaps even a little neurotic at times recently, but she had put that down to Lisa’s desperation for a baby. And now…
Absently she brushed her damp hair back from her face, staring sightlessly at the busy road ahead. Lisa was deceiving them both—her and Cameron. So how could she, Nadine, hand over her own baby to a woman who was obviously unstable? Deliver it into a home that could wind up broken—just as her own had been?
She scarcely knew what she was doing that afternoon. The decision to which she had come was something that had to be acted upon—and quickly—and her insides were churning queasily as she rang the number of Cameron’s chambers.
What was she going to say to him? I need to see you? And if he agreed to her request, what then?
A mixture of contrary emotions ran through her as a feminine voice told her, ‘I’m afraid he’s still in court. Can I get him to call you when—and if—he comes back?’
‘No!’ Her insides were tying themselves in knots. She didn’t want him ringing her at the office. This matter was too private to risk discussing with anyone else around, apart from which she didn’t think she could stand the suspense of waiting for his call.
‘I’ll try again later,’ she volunteered, feeling like a coward, but as she put down the phone she knew she couldn’t just sit around hoping for him to come back.
She asked Larry if he’d mind her leaving early, and was relieved when he instantly assumed she was still feeling off-colour from the previous day, which ruled out the need for any further explanations, and within minutes she was on her way to the courts.
Hot,