then?’ she muttered under her breath.
Thankfully, Riley chose to ignore her sarcastic comment and followed her into the kitchen, his presence dwarfing the tiny chrome and black space.
‘What’ll you have?’
‘Coffee is fine,’he said, grabbing a carton of milk out of the fridge and a clean mug off the sink, looking more at home in the kitchen than Joe ever had.
Stop it! Stop comparing him to Joe.
She blinked, almost surprised at her inner voice chastising her like that. For a girl who’d hardly noticed Riley when they’d first met, she was certainly making up for lost time and making unfavourable comparisons between the brothers to boot!
Joe had been cocky, brash and fun-loving.
Riley was serious, thoughtful and responsible.
Joe had hogged the limelight and adored being the centre of attention.
Riley faded into the background, preferring to take control from the sidelines.
Joe had some hang-up with winning.
By all counts, Riley was a winner; his reputation in the business world spoke for itself.
However, there was one area where the brothers couldn’t compare.
Joe had said he loved her, though she’d discovered that wasn’t true.
Riley obviously tolerated her for the sake of Chas. She’d seen it after Joe’s death and earlier today at the funeral: the curiosity, the censure, the pity.
And she hated it.
He probably thought she was a pathetic basket case but at least he’d been there for her, for Chas, at a time when she’d needed him the most. Which was more than she could say for anyone else in her lifetime, including her mother.
‘How did the wake go?’ she asked, more out of something to fill the growing silence than any burning need to know.
Riley’s lips compressed into a thin line. ‘People stayed as long as the finger food and alcohol kept coming. A few blokes retold some of Joe’s tall tales. That’s about it.’
‘Guess I wasn’t missed then.’ She couldn’t keep the irony from her voice though she couldn’t fathom the answering flicker of something dark and mysterious in his eyes.
‘Joe knew you loved him. He wouldn’t have needed to see you schmoozing with his phoney mates to prove that.’
‘I guess you’re right,’she said, guilt piercing her soul. She could hardly face the truth even in the deepest part of her, too horrified to admit that she hadn’t loved Joe.
She had at the start. At least, she’d thought she did. Maybe it had been infatuation, maybe it had been a plain old-fashioned crush. She’d been so naïve, so clueless when it came to men that she’d fallen for the first classy guy to look her way, wanting to believe his smooth lines, wanting to believe that he loved her. For someone who’d never known real love growing up, it had been a heady experience.
‘Look, this isn’t any of my business but I know you two had problems and I hope you’re not beating yourself up over them. Joe was fun and spontaneous and affectionate but he could also be a selfish brat.’
Maya didn’t question how Riley knew about her relationship troubles with Joe. She didn’t have to. It hung unspoken in the tense, awkward silence between them and she jumped in relief when the kettle whistled.
‘Joe and I didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of issues but then I guess that’s part of being a couple,’ she said, pouring boiling water into the mugs, grateful to concentrate on such a mundane task and not have to see the look of judgement on Riley’s face.
Riley was a smart guy and a smart guy would’ve read between the lines and known the argument he’d overheard the night of Joe’s death had only been tip of the iceberg stuff.
A smart guy would’ve twigged that things had been worse. A lot worse.
She’d wanted to explain, to smooth things over with the brother-in-law she never knew but her good intentions had blown up in her face. More to the point, Joe had blown up in her face.
‘Why did you come around that night?’
No use glossing over it. Riley had brought up the subject; she may as well finish it.
He shrugged, wrapping his hands around the coffee mug she handed him and staring into the strong black liquid like a wizard looking for answers in a cauldron.
‘I hadn’t seen Joe in a while. Guess I was worried about him. And you and Chas,’ he added as an afterthought.
‘But you’d never visited before,’she persisted, driven by some strange need to get Riley to talk, perhaps to give her some answers to Joe’s irrational behaviour that night.
‘I know, my fault. Business keeps me busy. I’m pretty much chained to my desk or travelling.’
He sipped at his coffee and Maya couldn’t decide if he was giving her the brush-off or not.
‘Joe never mentioned you much.’
Until he’d gone out with Riley that night, arrived home two hours later reeking of alcohol and spewing forth a torrent of vile accusations that hadn’t made sense. She hadn’t even known Riley, let alone fancied him.
‘Joe and I weren’t as close as I would’ve liked, probably both our faults.’ Riley glanced away, a sad expression on his face before his gaze returned to hers, melancholic, uncertain. ‘He seemed pretty out of control that night. Was that a one-off?’
She wished. ‘Joe wasn’t happy. His behaviour the last few months was erratic.’
Riley frowned. ‘Erratic?’
‘He didn’t spend much time here.’
Major understatement. That night had been typical: with Chas screaming in the nursery at Joe’s escalating abuse, she’d fired back, taunting Joe, hitting his vulnerable spots, knowing it would enrage him further and he’d do what he always did.
Run.
Not come home for days.
Seek and find comfort wherever he could as long as it wasn’t with her.
‘Joe didn’t seem too stable when we chatted that night and I wondered if his death was purely accidental.’
Maya stiffened, understanding Riley’s need to have answers but resenting his inference and the intrusion into her privacy nonetheless.
‘There’s no doubt in my mind that Joe’s car crash was an accident. Joe was too cocky, too full of himself to end his own life.’
Despite her certainty, she would live with the guilt for the rest of her life—that her words had pushed Joe to get behind the wheel of his car when he clearly could barely walk, let alone drive.
She should’ve stopped him.
But she hadn’t.
And it had killed her fiancé, the man who had told her that same night that he’d never had any intention of marrying her, ever, and the humiliating reasons why.
‘You must’ve had a rough time with Joe…’He trailed off, having the grace to look uncomfortable.
‘And what are you trying to do? Make me relive the tough stuff just for old times’ sake?’
The words slipped out before she could stop them and she could see she’d hit below the belt.
‘I’m sorry. I was just trying to say I understand.’
Pity. Stark, obvious pity shone in his eyes and she hated it. She didn’t need Riley’s pity. She didn’t need anything from him.
‘Thanks, but I’m fine. You’ve helped with