and pricked her curiosity at the same time. What could possibly explain Lillian’s bizarre fascination with lions? It was sick.
Kelli shook her head. Before bedtime she’d take down all these animal pictures and stash them somewhere. Maybe Leo would like some company in his closet.
Back on the living-room sofa, she picked up the envelope and stared at it. The familiar ache, buried deep in her heart long ago, began to throb. Was this letter Lillian’s attempt to explain the actions that had such a devastating effect on her eight-year-old daughter? An attempt to heal the old wounds?
Kelli carefully opened the envelope, aware that her mother had sealed it with her own mouth. A final kiss goodbye.
Dear Kelli,
By now you’ve learned about the trust. You probably think I’m being mean to you. Maybe I am, but not without a good reason.
Your father and I both gave our lives to the preservation of zoo animals. I promise you, the strength of my dedication is no less than his. Will you give us a mere six months to see if you can get a glimpse of our passion? If I could have convinced you to do it while I was alive, I would have. I just didn’t know how. This trust is my way of asking you to share my life.
Only God knows the damage I’ve done to you. I hope He forgives me. I don’t expect you to. Ask somebody to tell you about Cocoa. Maybe you’ll understand.
I do love you, Kelli, more than I was ever able to express.
It was signed in her hurried script, Lillian Mitchell. Beneath her signature she had written, Your Mother. As if Kelli needed the reminder of who she was.
She read the last line again. Tears stung her eyes. Love? Nana loved Kelli and proved it by being there every day as she grew up, by taking care of her, by coming to her band concerts and taking her to Sunday school. Lillian didn’t know what love was. She wanted Kelli to share her life?
“It’s a little too late for that, isn’t it?” Her shout, aimed at the letter, squeaked at the end as her throat squeezed shut. “My childhood is over, and so is your life.”
She tossed away the letter. Tears blurred her vision as she watched it flutter to the floor. Once again, Lillian had proved what Kelli had long known: Her precious zoo animals were more important than her own daughter.
“It’s all about you, isn’t it, Lillian?” She kept her voice low, her whisper masking the sobs that threatened. “Your dedication. Your passion. It’s always been about you.”
Her gaze fell on the trust document, Lillian’s attempt to manipulate her, to bribe her. Well, Kelli wouldn’t play along with it. She refused to sell her soul for money.
An image of Nana rose in her mind. Frail Nana, who moved slower these days. Who sometimes forgot to turn off the gas oven until the next morning. There would come a time, and it might be soon, when Nana couldn’t continue to live alone. Lillian’s money would ensure that she didn’t have to.
“That’s okay.” Kelli lifted her chin, her decision made. “We’ll manage without it.”
She got off the sofa and went to retrieve her cell phone from her purse. Nana would be wondering what was happening, and when Kelli would be returning to Denver.
The zoo was crowded today. Jason passed a string of children in identical yellow T-shirts crowding around the red panda enclosure, and nodded a pleasant greeting at the pair of young women who stood watching them. He’d heard someone from Guest Services say they had a couple of summer camp groups scheduled today. Until a couple of months ago, he would have been assigned the task of introducing them to Samson and the other cats. But that was before Lil got sick enough to hand off some of her duties to him. Now Michael was the zookeeper primarily in charge of big cats.
But Samson had earned a special place in Jason’s heart a long time ago. No matter how busy his day, Jason always found time to pay a visit to the lion. That’s where he headed now, with Lil’s letter folded in his pocket.
Samson dozed on the shaded concrete platform in the corner of his enclosure, as he usually did during the heat of the day. Jason stood at the external barrier near a mother and her two boys, whose fingers were locked in the chain link. He studied the magnificent beast’s golden fur, his shaggy main. As Jason watched, the conspicuous dark tuft at the end of his long tail flicked upward, then collapsed again to its limp position. Besides that, Samson didn’t move at all.
“C’mon,” one boy said to his brother, his tone heavy with disgust. “Let’s go look at the monkeys. At least they jump around.”
Jason hid a smile as the trio strolled away. Samson considered himself too regal to perform for a crowd. He was, after all, the king of beasts, even if he was without a pride over which to rule at the moment.
The nearby bench, tucked into a welcome patch of shade, was empty. Jason fought off a stab of guilt and seated himself. A pile of work lay on Lil’s desk—his desk, unofficially—but that could wait for a few minutes. Here, in front of the animal Lillian had loved so much, was the ideal place to read her letter.
He ripped open the envelope and extracted the single page covered in his late boss’s familiar handwriting.
Jason,
I’ve never been good at telling people how I feel. I’m much better at telling them what to do.
Jason smiled. That was true.
I’m not going to get all gushy, because that will just embarrass you. (I guess I’m beyond being embarrassed now, aren’t I?) But I do think you’re a fine man, and the best person to become zoo director after me. I trust you to carry on the work I’ve started. You’ll get no higher praise from me than that.
I hope you and Kelli get along. I warn you, she’s going to have a hard time with this. I won’t ask you to go easy on her, but try not to make it any harder than it has to be. She carries a lot of pain. Maybe she’ll open up to you one day and tell you about it.
Get Samson out of that cage, Jason. Don’t let them take him.
Lillian Mitchell
Jason looked up from the letter, his gaze drawn to Samson’s enclosure. Lil’s use of the disparaging word cage spoke volumes. Samson’s home was pathetically small for such a glorious animal. True, it met the Association of Zoos and Aquariums’ minimum requirements, barely. But Samson deserved so much more. On that, Lil and Jason had been in complete agreement. Samson was a perfect specimen, healthy and virile, and easily met the AZA’s strict breeding qualifications. But without a proper habitat, the AZA would never allow them a female lion, would never approve Cougar Bay’s application to initiate a lion breeding program. In fact, because all zoo animals technically belong to AZA, it was within that organization’s power to move Samson to another facility, one with a habitat more suitable for breeding. And Lil had been sure they would do it. Her determination not to let that happen had flickered like gray flame in her eyes whenever the subject came up.
Had she taken that determination too far? Kelli’s image rose in his mind.
“Maybe she’ll open up to you one day and tell you about it.”
Jason slowly shook his head. “You sound pretty sure she’ll accept your conditions, Lil.” He wasn’t convinced. He’d glimpsed a touch of obstinacy in the set of that lovely chin, much the same as he’d seen her mother display. Kelli Jackson wasn’t the kind to be pushed into something she didn’t want to do. Surely Lil knew that about her own daughter.
He refolded the letter and slid it back into the envelope. In the days before she died, Lil had made no secret of the fact that she expected him to be ruthless in his execution of her trust. Even though he’d been reeling from the discovery that she had a daughter, he’d tried to talk her out of the crazy scheme.
“Lil, why don’t you just leave the poor kid her half and be done with it?”
The wasted woman in the hospital bed had been a mere shadow of the boss he’d known for years.