stormed out of the room, near tears. Daisy stared after her. Poor girl. She was so upset about Eunice’s condition.
Daisy carefully placed the gown across Eunice’s bed. It was so old she was afraid to touch it, much less try it on! The satin was a soft ivory, and the cut of the gown was surprisingly sleek and simple.
“I want to see it on you, dear,” Eunice said in a voice that held not a hint of dementia. She was matriarch of this family, and was accustomed to being obeyed. Always.
If the old woman hadn’t been sick, Daisy never would’ve agreed to try on the wedding gown. It was painful, to be reminded of what she’d never have. It hurt, to have the past brought back in such a sharp, detailed way. She and Jacob were never going to get married. Those “Mrs. Daisy Tasker” doodles were ancient history. All the plans they’d made, the simple dreams she’d had … gone.
She should hate this house and everyone in it. For a long time she’d been so sure that these people would one day be her family, that the house would one day be her family home as well as Jacob’s. It hurt … but she couldn’t hate the house or the people. No, it couldn’t be that easy.
Daisy caressed the fabric then pulled her hand back, afraid the simple touch might damage the satin. “I can’t do it,” she whispered, and then she looked up. Jacob’s mother and grandmother were both staring at her. She tried to smile. “I’m sorry. I simply ate too much for supper. I’m not accustomed to Lurlene’s cooking, and I just know I’m two sizes bigger than I was when I sat down to dinner. Tomorrow?” she offered. “I can come by after I close the shop and try on the gown.”
She half expected an argument from Miss Eunice, but Jacob’s grandmother smiled sweetly. “Of course. You must come for supper again tomorrow night. I’ve already asked Lurlene to make chicken and dumplings. Oh, and you know what I’m in the mood for? Your dear, sweet mother’s lemon cake. Bless her soul. She used to bring it to the annual Fourth of July picnic and I always looked forward to eating a big piece. Sweet and tangy and rich … so amazingly rich. Do you have the recipe?”
“I do.” Not that she’d ever attempted to make that cake. It had taken her mother half a day to prepare!
“Lovely. Tomorrow night, chicken and dumplings and lemon cake.” It was a command that left no room for negotiation.
Daisy carefully returned the wedding gown to the wardrobe, kissed Eunice on the cheek and left the room. Once she was in the hallway, the door closed behind her, she shut her eyes and leaned against the wall. The hall was deserted, thank heavens, and she took a moment to gather her senses, as best she could. By tomorrow night Eunice would surely have forgotten about the wedding gown and the lemon cake, and Daisy could pass the evening blessedly alone, eating a frozen dinner and watching something mindless on television.
This was torture, pure and simple. Her legs were a little wobbly and her heart was beating much too hard. Daisy pushed away from the wall and headed not for the parlor where she assumed Jacob would be waiting but for the front porch. She needed a few minutes alone, a little bit of time to rein in her jumbled emotions.
She pushed the screen door open and headed for the porch swing that faced west. The days were long, in the midst of summer, and the sunsets across the expanse of Tasker land were breathtaking. This sunset was no exception. She’d seen more than a few, from this very porch swing. Normally she had not enjoyed them alone. This porch swing, Jacob, a couple glasses of iced tea, whispers, a stolen kiss or two or twenty …
Daisy sat there and vowed not to allow an old woman’s fantasies to drag her into the past. She’d moved on, made a new and good life for herself. She didn’t think about what might’ve been. Very often. Oh, hell, who was she kidding? She thought about it all the time!
And her life wasn’t new at all. It was old and familiar. Bell Grove was home and she belonged here. She didn’t need or want her life to be new and exciting.
She pushed off with a toe and swung lightly, hoping the gentle movement would soothe her jangled nerves. Having the past thrown in her face without warning forced her to look long and hard at the present. The truth of the matter was, she thought about Jacob entirely too much. That’s why she hadn’t had a serious relationship since they’d broken up. That’s why she never had more than two dates with the same guy, why she found something wrong with every man who expressed an interest in her. She wasn’t as pretty as Lily, but she wasn’t exactly a troll, either. She could’ve had several serious relationships in the past few years, if she’d wanted to. She might even have found a man who’d make a good husband and father. And it took having Jacob right under her nose to allow her to see what she’d done.
Sitting in that porch swing alone, Daisy could see that she’d put her life on hold for a man who didn’t deserve it. Where romance was concerned she was marking time, stagnant, stuck in a rut. A man was really all her life lacked. A man was the only thing Bell Grove had not been able to provide. How incredibly stupid! She couldn’t give up the opportunity to build a family of her own just because her first love had disappointed her.
That’s all Jacob was; her first love. Not her last, not her only. She didn’t try to fool herself into thinking that she’d never loved him. She had. Deeply and completely. But that was then and this was now. Somehow her now had gone seriously askew. If this little charade—painful as it was—helped her to truly put Jacob in her past where he belonged, then it would be worthwhile.
He must’ve heard her leaving the house, because she hadn’t been in the swing long before Jacob stepped onto the porch. Of course he knew just where she was. The gentle squeak of the porch swing, as she pushed herself back and forth with her toe, was a dead giveaway.
“Sorry,” he said when he saw her there.
For so many things … She didn’t go there. What was the point? “Not your fault.” This time. “Bless her heart, one minute she seems just fine and the next she’s completely befuddled.”
“Yeah.” Jacob walked toward her, and for a moment she wondered if he would sit beside her on the swing. It was more than big enough for two, but she wished, very hard, that he wouldn’t make that move. She didn’t want him that close; she didn’t want that stark reminder of the old days.
The old days were gone, and there was no getting them back. Now all she had to do was convince herself that she didn’t want them back.
He stopped a few feet away, almost as if he’d had the same thought. “I didn’t know about the … the …”
“Wedding,” she said briskly, providing the word he apparently could not.
“She’ll forget about it.” It sounded like an order, as if he thought he could sway an old woman’s memory by will alone.
“And if she doesn’t?”
He didn’t have an answer for that question.
Daisy couldn’t be too angry with Jacob, much as she wanted to. He was a career-focused, ambitious workaholic who’d let her go when keeping her had become inconvenient. He’d chosen his career over her. He hadn’t loved her enough to sacrifice his grand plans for her. Family obligation had kept her here, while a job opportunity had taken him far, far away. They hadn’t been able to make her need to provide a familiar home for her sisters and his desire for a new career to work together. He’d moved on, and he hadn’t looked back, and she shouldn’t hate him because he’d managed to do what she could not.
But he loved his grandmother and would apparently do anything to make her final days good ones. Maybe he did have a heart under that expensive suit, after all. That heart just wasn’t meant for her.
“So,” she said softly. “How’s your life?”
He seemed surprised that she asked. “Good. Busy, but good. You?”
“Spectacular,” she said, her voice low. “I like my life. I love my life.” Maybe if she said it often enough she’d be able to gloss over the lack of romance in her almost-perfect life.