different life. For a little while. That’s what he’d keep telling himself—for a little while.
But what if he couldn’t find a good situation for Lucas? Could he walk away from him knowing he was leaving Lucas where he, himself, had been left so many times during his own childhood?
No, he didn’t want to think about that. Didn’t want to think into the future. Reality, here and now, was good enough. Always had been because it’s all he’d ever been able to count on. Getting by, moment to moment.
Sighing, Matt held out his hand for the keys to the clinic. This was for Janice, he reminded himself. For Janice and Lucas. It didn’t make things easier, but it made him feel better. It’s what he had to do—that’s the thought that ran through his mind for the next few hours as he prepared himself mentally to be part of Forgeburn again.
The clinic was small, just as he remembered it. One underwhelming exam room with basic outdated equipment, a minor procedures room, a shared public and staff bathroom, a small reception area and waiting room, which seated only six people, and a tiny, knee-hole office. But it did have a nice storage room attached to his office, larger than he would have expected, with a window at the rear of it overlooking a rock formation in the distance.
A playroom for Lucas when Betty Nelson couldn’t watch him? Switch to a Dutch door for security, add carpeting—it was a thought. One that didn’t go away as he walked around the outside of the small white cement building that stood alone in the middle of a cracked asphalt parking lot, surrounded by sand, dirt and a lot of cacti.
The next closest structure, a small, nineteen-sixties-style hotel was, with a lot of squinting, within eyesight. There really was no upside to the medical office, nothing nice or pretty or comforting, but the house he’d also be getting as part of the deal was definitely an upside. Modestly large, fairly new, with a nice pool and beautiful canyon view. A squared-off adobe-style with an open floor plan, large kitchen—he used to love to cook—and a casita with in-home or private access. Not that he needed a casita, since he didn’t anticipate anyone ever coming to visit him. But at least it gave him an option.
* * *
“This is where we’ll be staying,” he said to Lucas the next day as they explored the outside area together, to make sure the pool was completely secured and safe, grateful Doc Granger’s one indulgence in life had been his house. It would be a good place for Lucas. Comfortable. Safe. “How about we go take a look?” He’d wanted to carry Lucas, but Lucas was often resistant to that, unless he was tired. A child with determination, Matt thought.
Lucas’s reaction was to turn his back to Matt and stare at a little brown and blue skink darting into a rock garden at the edge of the patio. It was trying to get away from prying eyes. Sort of what Matt felt like doing, to be honest. “Well, if you’re not interested in looking around today, we’ll be back tomorrow when we move in. Plenty of time for exploring then.”
Especially since Doc Granger had already vacated the place. Except for the furniture, which was staying with the house, all the personal touches were gone. And Matt had an idea Doc Granger was, right now, playing with grandkids. Which meant Matt was totally on his own here. It wasn’t an unsettling thought, but it wasn’t a comforting one either, since he knew so little about his new responsibilities. Well, live and learn. He’d make the best of it, like he was making the best of being a temporary dad.
“You ready to leave?” he finally asked Lucas, who’d gone over to the rocks, looking for the skink. Of course, Lucas didn’t answer. Neither did he take Matt’s hand when Matt extended it to him. Instead, he took an extra-firm hold on the ratty old blanket he carried with him everywhere, and trailed along next to Matt. Never too close, but never too far.
There were two cars in the parking lot. Actually, one car and a pick-up truck. And there was little to indicate this was a medical clinic except the weather-beaten sign at the edge of the parking lot that read: “Medical Clinic”. Followed by an emergency phone number.
* * *
“Well, this is it,” Ellie said. It had become her habit to talk to her baby. While she was only just past eighteen weeks along, and babies in the womb didn’t start hearing until around twenty-three weeks, she liked the connection. Felt that, on some level, it would help her baby’s development. So she talked.
“Not what I expected. For some reason, I’d guessed your daddy to be...better established.” Of course, they’d never really talked about such things. They’d talked about other things, especially that first night—medicine, college days, the convention—but never about their own realities. That had been part of keeping it from becoming too personal. Of course, that hadn’t worked out, had it?
Ellie glanced down at her belly as she stepped out of her car. It wasn’t exactly flat now, but loose-fitting cargo pants and an oversized white, gauzy shirt still concealed the obvious. Not for much longer, though, as her naked profile was that of a woman with a bulging belly. But right now her baggy clothes kept her condition a secret from her co-workers—she didn’t want to answer all the questions—and from Matt as well, until she found the right moment to tell him.
What she didn’t want was for him to open the door to her and see her belly right off. Why shock him like that? It wouldn’t be right.
Also, she wanted to reassure herself he was someone she wanted to raise the baby because Reno hadn’t been about real life, whereas this baby definitely was. So Ellie wanted to know, see more, before she let Matt know what had happened. She’d thought about how to handle the inevitable the whole way here, and hadn’t come up with a real solution yet. Time would tell, she supposed as she entered the building, only to discover a completely empty waiting room. No patients, no receptionist. Just chairs and a desk.
“Well, it’s clean,” she whispered, as she wandered down the short hall leading to the exam room, looking for signs of life. “Anybody here?” she finally called out.
Ellie listened, heard noises coming from the room marked “EXAM” and moved a little closer. “Hello?” she called out again.
This time there was an answer. “There is, and I’ll be with you in about five minutes. Please, take a seat in the waiting room.”
She recognized the voice, of course. Nice, smooth. Very sexy. A voice worthy of goose-bumps that were, coincidentally, already running up her arms. “Thank you,” she called back. It was closer to ten minutes, though, before a young woman, who wore khaki shorts and worn hiking boots, wandered down the hall and out the front door, sporting an elastic brace on her left arm. And it was another couple of minutes before Matt appeared in the waiting room, with a little boy at his side.
“Ellie?” he said, frowning at first then slowly giving a broad smile. “I—I didn’t expect to see you here.” He took quick steps in her direction, then stopped before the predictable embrace “How have you been?”
She stopped as well, suddenly feeling uncertain about what she was doing here. “I’ve been fine, Matt. I was vacationing nearby, and thought I would stop by to see you. If you don’t mind.”
“Mind? Absolutely not. I...um... I’m glad to see you,” he said, obviously surprised and a little off kilter.
This was so awkward. She felt it. He felt it. But she was here and now she had to go through with her plan. Well, maybe not this very moment. But in a while. “I’m glad to see you, too. I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to look you up, but I took a chance and...” Ellie took two more steps in Matt’s direction, but too quickly as her head started spinning, spinning as the hallway slowly descended into darkness. Her last words before she toppled into his arms were, “My baby...”
NOTHING SEEMED ABNORMAL. Ellie’s blood pressure was a little high, but not outside normal. Her pulse was fine. So were her reflexes and her heartbeat. She’d come to before he’d had a chance