on the street. As they walked towards it through the crowds, Callie could see that one side of the vehicle had been decorated to turn it into Santa’s sleigh. There were carol singers and people were crowding around a warmly clad man in a Santa costume, who was helping children up into the driving seat.
Ben greeted the men already there and introduced Callie. Their names were lost in the music and chatter, but there were smiles and suddenly it didn’t much matter who she was or why she was here. She was just one of the team.
A bundle of leaflets was pressed into Ben’s hands and he set to work, wishing everyone a happy Christmas, in between singing along with the carols in a deep baritone. He placed leaflets in everyone’s hands with a smiling exhortation to read them on the way home.
Callie picked up a leaflet that had fluttered to the ground. On one side were wishes for a safe and happy Christmas from the London Fire Brigade. On the other side was some basic fire safety advice that was easy to read and follow.
‘So all this has an ulterior motive?’ She saw Ben looking at her and she smiled.
‘You could call it that. Although I reckon that having a house fire is one of the unhappier things that can happen to anyone, so it’s really just a practical extension of us telling everyone to have a happy Christmas...’
He turned for a moment as a woman tapped his arm, responding to her question. ‘Yes, that’s the British Standards safety sign. Always make sure your tree lights carry it.’
‘Okay. I’ll check mine when I get home.’
‘Great.’ Ben gifted her with the kind of smile that would persuade the angels themselves to switch off their heavenly lights if they weren’t up to safety standards and wished her a happy Christmas.
‘Can I take some of those?’ Callie pointed to the leaflets in his hand.
‘Yes, of course. Don’t you want to take some photographs?’
That was what she was there for but her camera was zipped under her coat and taking it out seemed like taking a step back from the circle of warmth and light around the fire engine. Realistically it was impossible to reduce the children’s delight as they were lifted up into the driving seat to just one frame, so instead she took the opportunity to just feel the joy.
‘Later maybe. I’ve got an interest in this, too.’ As a paramedic, Callie didn’t fight fires but she’d seen some of the of the injuries they caused.
He handed half his stack of leaflets to Callie. Ben didn’t say a word but his grin spoke volumes. No more fighting each other. The season of peace and joy seemed to be working its magic.
SUDDENLY IT FELT like Christmas. Callie was animated and smiling, approaching people on the edge of the crowd that had gathered around them and giving them leaflets. She seemed softer, warmer somehow. As if she’d dropped her defences and with them the hard edges that didn’t quite suit her.
‘Getting cold?’ Even though she was never still, she couldn’t disguise her red fingers. Gloves made it difficult to separate the leaflets and hand them out, and she’d taken hers off and stuffed them in her pocket.
‘Yes, a little.’ She smiled up at him, clearly not of a mind to let frozen fingers stop her.
‘There are flasks with hot coffee...’ He motioned up towards the cabin of the fire engine, which was now closed and dark. The families had all gone home now, and the crowd mainly consisted of revellers, wanting to squeeze the last moments from their pre-Christmas celebrations.
‘So that’s why everyone’s been nipping up there every now and then? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I’d love some.’
‘You have to give out at least a hundred leaflets before you get coffee.’
‘Well, I’ve given out three handfuls. That must be a hundred so...’ She gripped the front of his jacket in a mock threat. ‘Give me my coffee, elf. Or else...’
However much he wanted to warm up, standing his ground now seemed like a delicious moment that couldn’t be missed. ‘Or else what?’
‘Or... I’ll make you collect up all the old wrapping paper, peel the sticky tape off it and smooth it flat to use next year.’ She grinned.
‘In that case...’ Submitting to the threat was another delicious moment that made the hairs on the back of Ben’s neck stand to attention. ‘This way, Santa.’
He led her over to the fire engine, opening the door for her, and Callie climbed up into the cockpit, sliding across to sit behind the wheel. Ben followed her, reaching for the three large flasks in the footwell. Two were already empty, but the third was heavy when he picked it up.
As he poured the coffee, he saw Callie’s fingers touch the bottom of the steering wheel lightly, as if she was yearning to take hold of it and pretend to drive, the way kids did when you sat them in that seat. She was looking ahead of her, the bright Christmas lights reflecting in her face, softening her features. Or maybe it was just the look on her face.
‘Thanks.’ She wrapped her fingers around the cup, clearly wanting to warm them before she drank. Ben poured a second cup for himself and propped it on the dashboard. The only heat he wanted right now was the heat of her smile.
‘You can try it out for size if you want.’ He nodded towards the steering wheel. ‘I won’t tell anyone.’
The thought seemed tempting to her, but she shook her head. ‘Bit late for that now.’
‘It’s never too late...’ Ben let the thought roll in his head. It was an odd one, since he’d privately reckoned that it was too late for him.
And Callie seemed to think that too. She shook her head, turning to him with a smile. ‘Did you sit in a fire engine when you were a kid?’
‘All the time. My dad was a firefighter and he used to lift me up into the driving seat of the engines whenever my Mum took me to the fire station.’
‘So you knew all along what you wanted to be when you grew up.’
‘Yeah.’ Ben wondered which side of her life had been a childhood dream. Photographer or paramedic. ‘What did you want to be?’
‘Safe...’ The word had obviously escaped her lips before she had a chance to stop it, and Callie reddened a little.
‘Safe is a good ambition.’
Her gaze met his, a trace of mockery in it. Do you even know what safe is? Ben realised that it was the last thing he’d have thought about wanting when he’d been a child. He always had been safe.
For a moment the questions he wanted to ask hung in the cold air. Then Callie shrugged, grinning. ‘My dad died when I was six. He was a police officer and he was killed in the line of duty. That was when I found out that...anything can be taken away.’
‘I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how that must have felt.’
She shrugged. ‘I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it either. How did you deal with the risks of your father’s job?’
‘I guess... I never had to think about them. He always came home.’
‘And now? You must have thought about them when you joined the fire service.’
The question seemed important to her, and Ben thought carefully about his answer. ‘There are some things that are important enough to take risks to achieve. Without that, a life can become meaningless. And we don’t take risks for their own sake, you know that we’re all about safety.’
Callie nodded silently. She didn’t seem much convinced by his answer and Ben had the feeling he hadn’t heard the whole story.
‘But