found that everything in life worth having you have to work for.” The smile that followed was enough to make her heart begin to race. Was he flirting with her? A second later a horrible thought flashed through her mind and in a moment it also left her mouth.
“Are you married?” She alternated her gaze between the look in his eyes during his response and an examination of his left hand, looking for any hint of an outline of a ring.
“No, never have been.” It seemed as if he was telling the truth, but would she know if he wasn’t? He didn’t seem at all disturbed by her question. “Are you?”
She thought about her new label, hating the way it made her relive all her mistakes every time the label was used. She took another sip of her cider and rested the glass back on the table before answering. “Divorced.”
“That bothers you.”
“You’re observant,” she acknowledged.
“I’ve built my career around paying attention to the subtle clues people give me.”
“Then you’re lucky. I’m so naive that I miss even the most obvious of signs people give me.”
“You don’t strike me as naive.”
“I’m not anymore.” Or that was her new resolve anyway. She still needed to prove it to herself.
“I get the feeling there is a story behind that.”
He was more than observant, he was perceptive and he was right. There was a long story behind the loss of her innocence, but not one that she felt like sharing—especially with Ryan. It had been years since she had been a stranger to anyone and she enjoyed the freedom of talking to someone who wasn’t privy to the backstory of her life. “Are you always this inquisitive with women you have barely met?”
“No. But considering how we met I think we’re already beyond the superficial, don’t you?”
It wasn’t his words that implied an intimacy between them. It was the way he was looking at her. She again took in the man sitting before her. He was as handsome as he was confident and, as silly as it felt, it felt as if he was on her side. She wasn’t sure which feature she found most attractive but attraction was definitely coursing through her body.
“Yes,” she answered. “What exactly are we doing here, Ryan?”
She was direct. He’d known that already but he still wasn’t prepared for her question, because he didn’t know the answer. He had thought about little other than her since they had last parted. Relief had been just one of the emotions he had felt when he’d seen her tonight. If it had only been relief he would have just been happy to see that she was all right and left her alone, but more than relief he felt a complete fascination with the woman he had spotted the moment he’d entered the restaurant.
She looked more mature and somehow more desirable than she had on the hillside. Gone was the young frightened girl and instead, walking past him, was a confident woman. Her blond hair appeared freshly washed and accented perfectly against the blue silk of her shirt. She once again wore heeled boots to add to her height and they clung to her legs in the same fashion as her flesh-hugging gray denim.
Once in the pub he waited for over an hour before he ventured to her table and now he was being asked point-blank about his intentions. Intentions he still didn’t even know or understand.
“I’m getting to know a person who has captured my attention and I hope you’re doing the same.”
He watched as her flush spread from the valley between her breasts that her shirt exposed upward toward her face. She reached this time for her iced water and he watched her bide her time before answering.
“You have definitely captured my attention. But I’m not sure about why we’re bothering to get to know each other.”
“You really know how to flatter a man.” If he’d thought she’d turned red earlier, she had darkened two shades with his last comment.
“What I meant was that neither of us lives here. We may never even see each other again after tonight.”
“Do you want to see me again?”
Another long pause before he heard the small sigh escape her lips before she answered. “I’ve learned the hard way it doesn’t matter what I want.”
“It matters to me.” And it did. He hated seeing the look of defeat in her eyes and felt as if he would do anything to make it go away.
“And if I did want to see you again?”
“Then we would want the same thing.”
He waited for her response, or more so her verbal response. He didn’t miss the way her pupils dilated or the slight tremble in her response to him. “I want to see you again. I just don’t know if it is a good idea.”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because things I thought were right for me in the past have been anything but.”
“You don’t think you can trust me?”
She wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t ready for Ryan. Why now? Except she couldn’t really begrudge his arrival in her life, because without him there was the possibility she wouldn’t be alive. Could she trust him? Her instincts said yes, but she had been so wrong before that the person she really couldn’t trust was herself.
“I don’t know what to think about any of this.”
“What does your gut tell you?”
Her gut told her that she wanted more. More of Ryan and more of the feelings he was bringing out in her. That even talking to him felt so different from her beginnings with Kevin. She didn’t feel that sense of being charmed and swept off her feet, which ironically felt better. Ryan made her feel as if this was less about him and more about her and him liking what he saw in her. What would be the harm in spending more time together? To indulge in the feelings he brought out in her? Her first fling and in less than a week they would go their separate ways, and at best he would become a beautiful memory to carry with her as she carved out her new life. At worst, well, really, what couldn’t she face after everything she had already been through?
“It’s getting late and it’s pretty dark out. Would you mind walking me back to the hotel?”
“I think I can do that.”
He signaled to the waitress and paid their bill, silencing her objections to his generosity. She also wasn’t able to slip past his gallantry as he helped her put on her jacket and held the door for her as they ventured into the slightly cooled night air.
“It is beautiful here, both day and night,” she remarked, feeling relaxation take hold of her for the first time since arriving earlier that day. A yawn escaped her as the jet lag she had been waiting for did the same.
“Careful, these roads are charming but a bit uneven.” His words were followed by his arm brushing past hers to take hold of her hand. It was the second time she had felt held to him and she allowed herself to enjoy it.
They walked the few blocks toward the hotel and her mind began to quiet as she enjoyed the evening and her time with Ryan. “It’s nice to have someone to look out for me,” she thought and said simultaneously.
The hand that had so strongly held hers pulled her toward him as they stopped still in the darkness a few meters from the hotel’s entrance. “I wish I could say that all I want to do is look out for you.” His voice, sounding slightly anguished, made the short voyage to her ears.
“What do you want to do with me?” she asked, surprised, with no essence of the “come-hither” that question would normally hold.
“This,” he answered, as his hands moved even closer to hold her against him as his lips descended on hers. His lips were hard yet so soft against her own and she welcomed the contact.