thought, and flinched inwardly. He said, ‘I’m at a bit of a loss, however, Nicola. I generally try to patch marriages up, not break them down, but...are you saying he’d cast you out without a cent if you refused to stay married to him until you’re twenty-three?’
‘I wouldn’t put it past him,’ Nicola replied darkly, then grimaced. ‘No, of course he wouldn’t, but he just won’t believe that I can take care of myself. He treats me as if I were one of his kids at times.’
‘These children—don’t they have a mother?’
‘Yes, they do. She was his first wife. They got divorced a few years ago. They had a very turbulent marriage; she’s a classical pianist and extremely beautiful—but quite mad, if you want my opinion,’ Nicola said candidly. ‘And, because she spends a lot of time overseas on concert tours, the children spend a lot more time with their father—which is where I come in.’
‘You know their mother well?’
‘I’ve known her all my life. I like her, despite the fact I think she’s as mad as a hatter.’
‘How many children are there?’ Peter Callam asked cautiously, feeling a sudden kinship with Alice in Wonderland.
‘Two. A girl of six and a boy of five. They’re very naughty and very lovable.’ Nicola’s lips curved into a warm smile.
‘So you wouldn’t like to traumatise them—would I be right in assuming that?’ he said slowly, but with a keen little glance at Nicola.
She sat forward suddenly. ‘What I would really like is to get out of this farce of a marriage as amicably as possible. I’d like to see them all happy—the children, B...my husband, and their mother.’
‘The first wife?’ Peter Callam blinked. ‘But surely—?’
‘Surely, yes,’ Nicola said, and looked briefly saddened.
Then she went on. ‘The thing is, they may not be able to live together, but I’m sure he doesn’t want to get seriously involved with anyone else—and that’s why I’m so suitable. I run his house, look after his children, I’m his hostess when he needs one, and any...’ she paused and shrugged ‘...physical needs he has are taken care of by a series of sophisticated mistresses whose eyes,’ she said with great feeling, ‘I’m seriously tempted to scratch out at times!’
‘He parades his mistresses in front of you?’
‘No, he doesn’t,’ Nicola said impatiently. ‘But I’m not a fool. I’m sure they must exist. He has an awful lot going for him.’
‘All the same, why would you want to scratch the eyes out of these possibly mythical mistresses if you’re so determined to leave him?’
The question fell into a pool of silence, and Nicola paled slightly but didn’t attempt to drop her blue gaze from his. Then she said huskily, ‘The thing is, I fell in love with him—that’s why I agreed to this marriage. I thought, in my youth and immaturity—’ She grimaced. ‘I thought I could make the fairy tale come true and supplant M...his first wife in his heart. But he never did fall in love with me and he never will. Now do you see, Reverend?’
‘Yes. I’m sorry, Nicola,’ he said compassionately. ‘But—’
‘No.’ She lifted a hand. ‘If you’re going to offer me platitudes and tell me not to give up hope, don’t bother. I’ll be twenty-one in two short weeks’ time; I’ve been married to him for two years—I know when I’m beaten.’
Nicola stopped and smiled slightly. ‘I’m not being very fair to you, am I? But, if it’s any help to you, it’s been a bit of a help to me to actually say all this—get it off my chest.’ She looked wry.
‘Thank you,’ Peter Callam murmured. ‘But I’m still confused. How long does he plan to keep you in a marriage of convenience? Because I’m wondering whether he deserves your love, this man, if he’s—forgive me—that insensitive apart from anything else, when he knows how you feel, but—‘
‘Oh, he doesn’t know,’ Nicola said blithely.
‘He doesn’t?’ Peter Callam blinked.
‘You don’t think—’ She broke off and laughed. ‘I may have been young and immature, but I wasn’t so immature as to let him see I was madly in love with him.’
‘I see.’
‘Well, wouldn’t you have?’
‘Hidden my real feelings?’ Peter Callam said slowly. ‘I...’
She chuckled after a moment. ‘It’s an awkward one, isn’t it, Reverend? But I can assure you that if you have an ounce of pride, when you’re presented with a very definite marriage of convenience, despite all your dreams, you do tend to hide things.’
‘I believe you, Nicola. Yet,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘despite this show of spirited rebellion—’ he raised an eyebrow and after a moment she nodded ruefully ‘—all along you were hoping he’d fall in love with you?’
Her eyes sparkled humorously again. ‘I don’t fight him all the time. Sometimes we get on like a house on fire.’
‘Sounds as if he takes good care of you, then.’
‘He does. It’s not the kind of care I want taken of me, though.’
‘Why is that, do you think?’
Nicola considered. ‘Not because he’s nurturing a secret passion, unfortunately, Reverend,’ she said at last. ‘It’s because of my father. Not only were they partners, but he had great admiration for my father—he wouldn’t be where he is today without Daddy’s help. I think he looks upon it as a way of repaying a debt to my father.’
‘Nicola—’ Peter Callam sat forward intently ‘—this is the last kind of advice I normally give, believe me, but if you do love this man, if you seriously think he’s worthy of your love, there is a time-honoured way of getting a man to reveal himself. Not only to others, but to himself.’
Nicola blinked. ‘How?’
‘If he thought you were interested in someone else, that might just...do the trick.’ I don’t believe I said that, the Reverend Callam thought, no sooner had he said it, but this golden girl touched him; he couldn’t deny it.
Nicola wrinkled her brow. ‘Make him jealous? That doesn’t sound very Christian, if you don’t mind me saying so, Reverend.’
Peter Callam flinched again, then he had to laugh. ‘You’re right, but desperate situations require desperate means at times. Not that I would advise you to actually—’
‘Commit adultery?’ Nicola suggested with some irony.
‘Most certainly not. Um...does anyone know how things stand? His first wife, for example?’
‘No one really knows, although some people might suspect. I’m not sure what Marietta thinks. She’s usually amazingly, even embarrassingly forthright, but she just—’ Nicola shrugged ‘—wished me luck and carried on as if it was a fait accompli. I suppose, if you look at it another way, it’s also her children I’m good with,’ she added ruefully.
‘But you suspect she may still be in love with him?’
‘I think there’s a kind of fatal attraction between them and there always will be.’
‘I still feel you shouldn’t walk away from this marriage without one last test,’ he said stubbornly.
‘You probably don’t think I can take care of myself either,’ Nicola observed.
‘I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be preserved from fortune-hunters until you’re twenty-three, Nicola. It’s no great age. And you never know.’
Nicola stood up and regarded him quizzically, as if to say, I