heard of Jacob before this. She judged that he was about her age, and if he had lived in Benton most of his life, why hadn’t she met him? Until her marriage she had lived a few miles outside of Benton, but she’d attended school in town. Benton wasn’t big enough for their paths not to have crossed before.
When the meeting adjourned, Jacob stood, turned to Aimee and smiled. “Is it all right if I call you later?”
“Sure,” she said as Erica nudged Aimee and nodded toward the door.
As they said their goodbyes, several people invited Aimee to become a part of the group. Although she’d enjoyed the evening, she wasn’t ready to commit to anything. Besides, she wasn’t sure how she would feel about regularly seeing Jacob Mallory. His presence kindled feelings she hadn’t experienced for a long time—emotions that she didn’t welcome. The less she saw of him the better off she would be.
“Did you have a good time?” Erica asked as she drove away from the church.
“To my surprise, I really did. Thanks for inviting me.”
“You’re welcome,” Erica said tersely.
Aimee shot a surprised glance in her friend’s direction. “What’s the matter with you? I thought you wanted me to break out of my shell, try my wings and all that other advice you’ve handed out.”
“My advice was good, but my plan backfired,” Erica said wryly. “You picked up the wrong man.”
“Jacob Mallory is the wrong man?” Aimee stammered, shocked by Erica’s words. “Besides, I didn’t pick him up—you introduced him to me. Regardless of that, I thought he was a really nice guy.”
“He is, but I hoped you would find someone and form a permanent relationship. There are two or three men in our group who would like to get married if they could find the right woman,” Erica insisted.
“That still doesn’t explain why you object to Jacob,” Aimee exclaimed, puzzled. “I just sat next to the man and talked with him—that’s hardly a prelude to matrimony. What’s wrong with him? Who is he, anyway?”
Erica pulled into Aimee’s driveway and turned off the car’s engine. “Jacob Mallory dates women occasionally, but if they start getting serious, he doesn’t call them anymore. He apparently isn’t interested in a long-term commitment.”
“So what. Neither am I. Besides, he didn’t even ask me for a date.”
“I heard him say he’d call you,” Erica pointed out.
“Yes, about the Substitute Siblings organization,” Aimee retorted, a little irritated with her friend. “He was talking about it when the meeting started. If I want to get involved in community service, it sounds like a worthwhile way to spend my time.”
“That’s true—they do tons of good projects. I know you think I’m butting in,” Erica apologized, “but I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to get hurt through anybody I bring into your life.”
“I won’t get hurt! I’m content with my life as it is right now. At least, I was until Samantha surprised me with her attitude today.” Aimee opened the car door. “Thanks for asking me to go. I had a good time.”
Aimee got out of the car, and Erica waited until she stepped up on the back porch and went into the kitchen before she drove away. Aimee locked the door behind her just as the phone rang.
“Hey, Mom,” Samantha’s voice answered her hello.
“Hey, yourself. Is anything wrong?”
“No, I was checking to see if you were home.”
Although slightly irritated, Aimee laughed. “I’m home, Samantha. You didn’t need to worry about your old mom.”
“Well, I was just wondering,” Samantha said sullenly.
“I’m home and going to bed, which I hope you’re doing soon, too.”
“Goodbye, Mom,” Samantha said.
“Goodbye, honey.” But Samantha had already hung up.
Aimee walked down the hall to her bedroom to change out of her new clothes and into pajamas. She sat down in the rocking chair beside the bed and picked up the picture of Steve that stood on the nightstand. How many times since his death had she looked at his picture wishing he was still with her? Usually just looking at his face, so much like Samantha’s, brought her peace. But not tonight. Tonight, she felt that something, something more than the loss of Steve was missing in her life, and she wondered what the future held.
Restless, Aimee went into the family room and sat in a lounge chair, feet elevated, staring into the darkness. She thought once again about how unfair the aneurysm was that had caused her husband’s sudden death. One morning he had gotten up full of life and love, twelve hours later he was gone, leaving her with regrets that she couldn’t overcome—regrets she had tried to put behind her for fifteen years.
She had only been nineteen when she and Steve had married, and a year later she’d given birth to Samantha. She hadn’t had an easy pregnancy. There were months of morning sickness that even nausea pills didn’t help, and during that time she dreaded the intimacies of marriage. Perhaps Steve had sensed this, for he hadn’t made any demands on her.
And Samantha’s birth was an ordeal, too. Aimee was in the delivery room for over twelve hours, and the birth resulted in a small tear that an incompetent doctor didn’t take care of properly. She was so miserable that she didn’t share Steve’s bed when she came home, and when he died suddenly, she was devastated that she’d concentrated on her own needs rather than his.
Her remorse over how she’d failed Steve only added to the sorrow she felt after his death. Aimee had never admitted her guilty feelings to anyone, but they had certainly kept her from considering a relationship with any other man. Now, more than a decade of regret seemed like enough. Remembering how easy it was for her to talk with Jacob tonight, she wondered if it was time to put the past behind her and start a new life.
Aimee yawned widely and went back to her bedroom. She got into bed, turned out the light and snuggled under the blankets. Her body was weary, but her mind was wide awake. Where could she go for the guidance she so desperately needed—for Samantha and for herself?
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to him.
Aimee bolted upright in bed, wondering why those words had come to her now. Why had she remembered that particular phrase? Convinced that the words were in the Bible, Aimee turned on the light again. It had been a few years since she had seriously considered her relationship with God, although there had been a time when the church was an important part of her life.
She went to the walk-in closet in the hallway and stepped up on a stool. A Bible was at the bottom of a large stack of Samantha’s schoolbooks. Being careful not to topple the whole heap, Aimee pulled the Bible free. It was Steve’s Bible, and she was sure she could find what she wanted in it.
Carrying the Bible, she returned to bed. After a half hour of searching, she found the verse she’d remembered in the Book of James.
As she turned the pages of the Bible, she felt Steve’s presence more keenly than she had for years. To her surprise, she also sensed the presence of God. Tears slid down Aimee’s cheeks as she remembered when the Word of God had been an important part of her life—when she never started a day without reading the Word. She had gradually drifted away from her faith.
God, it’s been so long since I’ve talked to You, I hardly know what to say. For starters, I suppose I should ask forgiveness for the way I’ve neglected You for years. I understand now that serving You should have been primary in my life. I should have encouraged Samantha to follow You, instead of putting school and activities before everything else. Starting tomorrow, with Your help, I’m going to change that.
When she laid the Bible on the nightstand, Aimee was