damn it! And he looked even more devastatingly handsome than she remembered. Or was that because she was looking at him upside down?
Mortified, Ellen tried to get back up but in her panic her high-heeled boots couldn’t get purchase on the ice. Just great! She was scrabbling around on the ground like some sort of flapping fish that had just been landed.
A hand reached down and before she knew it she was back on her feet.
‘Are you okay?’
His voice still gave her goosebumps. After all this time?
Sean stood back, keeping a grip on her elbow, and whistled under his breath. ‘Ellen Nicholson? If Maggie hadn’t told me you were coming to stay, I would never have recognised you. You’ve changed.’ He studied her with amusement. ‘Or, then again, maybe not.’
His only-too-well-remembered grin made something in her chest squeeze. If she had changed, so had he. The last time she had seen him, and the memory made her cheeks burn, he had been tall and gangly. Somewhere along the way he had filled out. And in impressive style.
Flustered, Ellen wiped the snow off her jacket and the back of her trousers. Of course she’d changed. The last time he’d seen her she’d been a scrawny teenager with attitude and a terrible crush. Eight years later she was a grown woman with a death sentence hanging over her. Her past and present selves couldn’t be more different. She had a sudden intense longing to be that old Ellen who still believed that miracles happened and that the world and life were simply waiting to give her everything she desired.
She could have done without bumping into Sean Jamieson right now. Just the sight of him had been enough to bring the memories of how she’d felt about him tumbling back. Suddenly she was that seventeen-year-old again, the one who had worshipped the ground this man had walked on.
Ellen pushed snow-dampened hair off her cheeks, trying desperately to regain a modicum of self-assurance. ‘Oh, hello, Sean. Nice to see you again.’
Wow, had that come out as gauche as it had sounded to her own ears? ‘Not that I expected to see you here. I mean I thought you were away somewhere.’ Great. Now she was babbling.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked. ‘Did you hurt yourself?’
‘Not at all. I’m perfectly fine, thanks.’ And to prove it she took a step forward. Rather too quickly as it transpired. To her horror, she found herself once more flat on her back and staring up at the snow-darkened sky.
‘I think I’ll just stay down here till the snow melts,’ she mumbled, mortified.
Sean bent down on his haunches next to her and grinned. The way his smile still made her insides turn to mush dismayed her.
‘You could be out here for a while you know. Can I bring you anything?’
Despite her ridiculous situation and the crazy sensations ricocheting around inside her, she smiled. ‘A cup of tea would be nice and perhaps a hot-water bottle.’
‘Scone?’
‘Mmm. Jam and cream.’
And now she was laughing along with him.
This time she held out her hand for him to pull her to her feet. It was as if the years had melted away and they were back to the way they always used to be all those years ago.
Sean kissed her lightly on her cheek and something sizzled below her skin, making her flustered all over again.
‘Still getting into scrapes?’ he asked, still smiling. ‘Looks like some things haven’t changed. Would you like me to have a look at your ankle?’
No, she damn well wouldn’t. The last thing she wanted was for him to peel off her boots. She hadn’t shaved her legs for days. Heavens, what was she thinking? Unshaved legs were the least of her problems.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked. ‘I thought you were working in Glasgow, or Australia?’ He should be in Glasgow. Or Australia. Yes, Australia was better. As far away from her grandmother’s home as was physically possible. Aware she sounded annoyed with him, she softened her tone. ‘Are you here on holiday? I mean, Gran mentioned you were going to renovate your old family home, but I suppose I thought you’d wait until the summer to get started.’
Even better. Not. Now she was letting him know that she had been thinking about him, talking about him.
His smile widened. ‘Which one of your questions would you like me to answer first?’
‘Take your pick!’ She smiled breezily. At least she hoped that was the way it appeared to him.
‘I am renovating the house but it’s had to be completely gutted and is uninhabitable at the moment.’ He brushed flakes of snow and mulched leaves from her jacket and it took every ounce of willpower not to jump away from his touch. ‘Maggie’s letting me use the old gatehouse in the meantime.’
The gatehouse? The one on the perimeter of her gran’s land? The one that was barely a stone’s throw from where they were standing? The knowledge dismayed Ellen. The biggest advantage of coming here to be with Gran was that she could hide herself away and not have anything to do with anyone. Damn, damn, damn. Why did Sean have to come back into her life? And now of all times?
‘So you’re renovating while you’re home on holiday, then?’ Ellen asked hopefully.
Sean looked puzzled.
‘No, I’m here permanently. Or as permanently as I stay anywhere. I plan to move into the old house as soon as it’s ready.’ He looked back at the pile of chopped wood in front of him. ‘Your grandmother needed some logs. I had some extras from my own delivery so I said I’d split some for her.’
Ellen shivered. It wasn’t just from the cold, although the ice on her trousers was beginning to melt, seeping through her clothes and freezing her skin. It was a shock, seeing him. Almost as much of a shock as falling on her backside.
‘Look,’ Sean said, ‘Maggie’s been like a cat on a hot tin roof all morning, waiting for you. If we don’t get you inside she’ll come looking for you. We can catch up once you’ve said hello and you’re out of these wet clothes.’
As usual he was right. In that respect he hadn’t changed. He was still the honorary older brother looking out for her. It was ridiculous to stay out in the cold and wet, particularly seeing as she’d recently been so ill. Not that he could or would know about that. Not ever.
He picked up her bag and, still holding on to her elbow, steered her towards the door.
A face appeared at the window and the next moment the door was swung open and her grandmother was standing there, gathering her up in her arms. Ellen inhaled the familiar sweetness of her gran’s perfume and wished she could stay closeted in her soft, warm and safe embrace for ever.
‘Ellen, child. You’re soaked!’ her grandmother said. ‘Come away in to the fire and get warmed up. You too, Sean. I’ll never know how you youngsters put up with being outside with hardly anything on. Don’t you know you can catch your deaths? And you, Ellen, you should be taking more care. Especially after being ill.’
Her words made Ellen wince, but she forced a smile to her lips. It was wonderful to see Gran again. Even if her fussing made her want to break down and spill out the horror of these past couple of weeks. But she forced her emotions back down. She’d promised herself that she wouldn’t burden Gran and she would keep that promise, however tempting the need to share her secret.
‘Ill?’ Sean frowned at her. ‘With what, Ellen?’
Slipping off her jacket and scarf, Ellen took her time shaking them out and hanging them up on the coat hooks by the door. The last thing she needed right now was their concerned looks. Or Sean ever finding out about her illness. She didn’t want people’s pity or their well-meaning concern—how would she be able to carry on as normal then? But she’d have to be very careful around Sean—she knew from past