Mistress to the Crown. Isolde Martyn

my teeth. The other players were very kind and Master Talwood made a wondrous guardian angel. No, it is certainly you who deserve all the praise, my lord.’ I drank to him.

      There was no return sparkle in his eyes. No hint that he desired to make love tonight. Sometimes I forgot he was so much older. Around us, the silence seemed suddenly precipitous and my delight began to ebb. I took another sip of wine.

      ‘I noticed her highness was wearing one of my women’s girdles. Was that your doing, my lord?’

      His forehead puckered as if the remark was not worthy of his attention. ‘No, I believe Lady Brampton presented it to her grace. Pray sit down, Elizabeth. I need to talk to you.’

      Apprehensive, I made myself comfortable on a cross-legged chair and, with mounting dismay, watched him prowl across to the hearth and turn.

      ‘Elizabeth, you and I have come to a crossroads.’

      I had anticipated this. But not so soon. Nothing lasts. I know that. The petals of the violet shrivel; its perfume lingers only in the memory.

      ‘You want no more to do with me?’ Had I behaved inappropriately tonight? Did I still lack the bedroom skills to please him? Or was I some matter to be tidied up before he left for France?

      ‘Stop it!’ he scolded. ‘I see all manner of thoughts flitting through your mind. Of course your company is a delight, my dear, but I can no longer be your lover. You need a younger man.’

      ‘But you are—’

      ‘Older than you by almost twenty years.’ I had thought him scarce forty. Astonishment must have blazed across my face for he added: ‘How kind of you to look surprised.’

      ‘I am, I truly am. But, please, do not think that—’

      He held a finger to his lips. ‘Doucement, little one. Our arrangement was temporary as we both agreed.’ He drew a deep breath and I should have expected what came next. ‘Out of loyalty to me or because of your sense of virtue, you have already said no to the King of England. Tonight you have a chance to reconsider.’

      ‘Tonight?’ Deep inside me, excitement began to stir but it was shackled by a suspicious anger. ‘Was this your agendum all along, my lord? I know the man supposed to play Helen did not break his ankle.’

      ‘Yes, you are right, he didn’t. The opportunity was provided at royal request and now it is up to you, Elizabeth.’ He took a taste of wine, watching me over the glass. ‘I have brought the horse to water. You do not have to drink.’

      So, broken in for the next rider, I was to be sold on.

      ‘I trusted you, my lord.’ Hurt underscored each word. My hand shook as I set down the glass. I intended to leave but he stepped into my path. ‘Please-let-me-pass!’

      ‘No!’ he said, holding up his palms. ‘You must hear me out and … and stop looking like an outraged virgin in a soldiers’ bath-house!’

      I sat down but I kept my back poker-stiff.

      He dropped on his haunches beside me and his voice was gentler. ‘Elizabeth, you offered yourself to me for no other reason than you wanted to learn and, by Heaven, I was happy to teach. All you asked of me was the name of a worthy lawyer, and in this world of venality I found that unselfishness remarkable, a breath of purest air. Now I am asking a favour. You have a choice tonight. The favour I ask is that you do not make your decision rashly.’

      ‘A choice? Do I?’ Disbelief spiked my voice; tears mustered behind my eyelids.

      ‘Of course, you do, my dear.’ He set a reassuring hand across mine. ‘You can go back to your husband before curfew and nothing more will be asked of you ever again.’ Back to my little kerchief of bleak space beyond the partition? A future of respectable celibacy – the worsted world of William Shore and lecherous Ralph the Younger?

      The haughtiness left my spine and I stared unhappily down at my lap like a chastened child. His thumb scuffed my wrist. ‘Can you not see that Life is challenging you, Elizabeth? Are you going to ride into the joust or watch from the crowd with everyone else?’

      ‘Christ’s mercy!’ I rose to my feet in anguish. ‘I am everyone else. His grace said the awe would wear off but it hasn’t. I am nobody, my lord.’

      Hastings stayed where he was. ‘Elizabeth, my dear, King Edward can have any woman in this entire kingdom – and he desires you.’

      ‘Ha! Only because he saw me naked at Gerrard’s Hall!’ I exclaimed in disgust, rising and pacing to the window. ‘I am a toy on a stall. He just wants what you have, like a child that cannot bear to be left out.’

      I heard the rustle of taffeta sleeves. He had climbed to his feet.