you wish, my lord,” he said soothingly. “I only ask you, do not exert yourself in such a way, as it is so wearying to see a man in your high state of agitation. Why, if I were to so exercise my nerves, I should then have to retire to my bed for a week. Have you tried taking a brisk walk, my lord? I owe all my good health and calmness of spirit to such excursions. I vow, it does wonders for the temperament, and the spleen as well, or so I’m told.”
“Damn your brisk walks, and damn you!” Lord Buxley turned his back on St. Clair for a moment, then wheeled about, his black-as-raisins-in-a-pudding eyes flashing fire. “I’d rather drink flaming pitch than come to you for help, St. Clair, but I have no choice. You saw how the herd followed your lead the other night. I don’t know how you do it, or why any of them gives a fig for your good opinion, but that’s the way it is. I need you, Lord Sidmouth need you. God help us all—England needs you!”
“Moi? Such an infinite honor, I’m sure.” Christian pressed his fingers to his lips even as a girlish giggle escaped him. This was just too good! “Dear Lord Buxley, how disturbingly serious you are. A veritable old sobersides, I’ve no doubt, and deuced earnest. And how you do flatter me.”
Lord Buxley strode toward Christian as if intent on throttling him, stopping only a foot in front of him. “We want the Peacock,” he intoned earnestly. “He has made fools of us long enough. The newspapers refuse to stop publishing his letters because their circulations have doubled since the Peacock became a contributor. The caricaturists are making a public circus of our efforts to capture the man—”
“Yes, yes, say no more,” Christian interrupted, giggling yet again as he raised his lace-edged handkerchief to the corners of his mouth. “I have seen them. None of the artists has quite captured dearest Lord Sidmouth well, have they? I mean, to see his lordship depicted mounted on a jackass, racing about the countryside while blindfolded as a large peacock snickers at him from behind a tree—or drawn on his knees, his rump facing skyward, searching beneath octogenarian ladies’ beds for the elusive Peacock—well, what can I say?”
“I would like you to say nothing, St. Clair,” Lord Buxley countered, walking away once more, to begin pacing the small oriental carpet that lay against the highly polished wooden floor. “That is, I would like you—our government would like you—to stop quoting from the Peacock’s letters. We would like you to say once and for all that the Peacock is a menace to all loyal Englishmen. In short, we would like Society to see this Peacock debacle for what it is: an assault against the government and all in the law which we hold sacred.”
Christian looked up at Lord Buxley owlishly, wondering what the man would think if he knew he had just asked St. Clair to condemn himself. “Is that all, my lord? You simply wish the creature out of fashion? Wouldn’t you desire for me to capture him as well? Oh yes, oh yes!” he exclaimed, as if caught up in the moment. “I must be in on the capture of this vile man who has for so long tweaked at our esteemed government. I hadn’t realized the government was in danger. I must come to the rescue! Again, my lord, I am so honored. My head is veritably swimming—my senses are gone!”
“You? Capture the Peacock?” Lord Buxley’s eyes narrowed as he turned to Christian, pointing a finger at him, clearly not similarly caught up in his lordship’s enthusiasm. Not that he was amused by Christian’s fevered declaration—or at least Christian didn’t think so. But then, remembering that he had never seen the man smile, Christian decided only that he couldn’t be sure.
“We will handle the ultimate capture, St. Clair,” Lord Buxley said coldly, “and without your help. As if the painted ninny could catch a drop of rain in a downpour,” he ended only half beneath his breath.
Christian clapped his hands in delight. “You will capture the Peacock, my lord? You, personally? Death and fiends, how above everything wonderful! Conceive me before you now, awestruck! Tell me: How do you propose to go about it? You must have been inspired by some brilliant new plan, for you have been so woefully unsuccessful in discovering him this past year and more.”
Lord Buxley furtively looked to his left and right, Christian thought in some amusement, as if he expected the Peacock’s spies to be lurking in the corners of the St. Clair drawing room, waiting with bated breath for word of this new “plan.” Which, Christian considered further, discreetly coughing into his fist, would not be far off the mark.
“Lord Buxley?” he prompted as his lordship continued to hesitate. After all, Christian thought, this was too good a moment to let slip away.
Lord Buxley shrugged his broad shoulders. Really, Christian thought, his lordship would be an exceedingly handsome, well-set-up man, if he weren’t so unpleasant. How would he look in emerald-green satin, a fall of ivory lace tied around his strong neck? E-gad! Christian mentally yelped. Were the fop and the adventurer beginning to meld together? Perhaps he had been working too hard at this play-acting and it was time to bring the farce to an end before he no longer recognized his true self.
“All right, St. Clair,” Lord Buxley said at last. “It isn’t as if you’d know what to do with the information, is it?” He bent slightly forward, somehow still maintaining his ramrod posture, and intoned quietly, “We have succeeded in infiltrating his latest wretched gang of malcontents—in Little Pillington.”
Christian’s blood ran cold, but the only indication of interest he showed was to tip his head to one side and giggle inanely. “Mille diables! Little Pillington, you say? Isn’t that where that horrid man, Simons, has his factories? What genius, my lord! But so dangerous. Mingling with desperate cutthroats? I feel nearby to expiring at the mere thought of it! However did you manage this coup?”
“It was simple enough, and all my idea. Groups of seditious laborers have been meeting in secret all over the country, including Little Pillington, where the Peacock is currently operating. We’ve had men—agent provocateurs, if you will—introduced into nearly every group, so that there is little we don’t know or can’t learn with a few well-paced questions. We knew the Peacock was in Little Pillington a full hour before he struck at Herbert Symington. It’s only a matter of time before we have him within our grasp! Then we will make short work of punishing all those miserable malcontents and lazy wastrels who would meet to bring down their own government!” he ended proudly.
“And all your idea, you said? Gad, sir, how very proud you must be,” Christian complimented effusively, rising to escort Lord Buxley to the door. “However, exhilarating as this conversation is, I fear I am going to be late to Lady Skiffington’s select soiree before the theater if I am not on my way within the minute. You don’t mind, do you?”
“You’ll do as I’ve asked, St. Clair?” Lord Buxley inquired, as Frapple stepped forward smartly to present him with his hat and cane.
“I’ll sleep on the matter, if you don’t mind, dear fellow,” Christian told him, personally opening the door to the square for the man. “I confess to being malicious enough to enjoy my power, but I hesitate to use it in this instance. After all, my lord, when we think of the starving children, the desperate mothers…” He allowed his voice to trail off, shrugging eloquently.
“The Peacock must be stopped, St. Clair,” Lord Buxley reminded him from between clenched teeth. “You owe your service to your King.”
“Odds bobs, my lord,” Christian responded, drawing himself up to his full height and screwing his face into a comically belligerent scowl, “I know that. But do I owe my service to Lord Sidmouth? That, dear man, remains the question. And you refuse to allow me to be in on the Peacock’s capture. That is disappointing. But I will think on it, you have my word as a gentleman.”
“I’d rather have your words spoken in the ballrooms of Mayfair. At least there they carry some weight. Good evening to you, St. Clair,” Lord Buxley said, jamming his hat down on his head and rigidly descending the stone steps to the flagway, halting at the bottom to turn and add, “I should have known I’d get no help from you.”
“Nonsense, old fellow,” St. Clair called after him. “You could apply to me at any time for my assistance in selecting your wardrobe. To each man his forte, I say. Have a good evening,